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  • (drunkenly singing Disney theme)

  • James: Welcome to Drunk Disney, where we drink watching Disney movies, and tell you what we learn from them.

  • Chelsea: This week's movie, released in 1961, is 101 Dalmatians

  • It was animated with a weird new animation technique that Walt Disney hated.

  • Dave: Today's guest is musician/youtuber Ali Spagnola!

  • (cheers)

  • Ali: Today's drinking game is brought to us by AnnaBanana,

  • and we're gonna be drinking every time we're confused by how the animal society works.

  • Do they have a bicameral legislation?

  • It sounds like we're already confused.

  • To Walt?

  • To Walt!

  • Let's watch some Disney.

  • (cheers)

  • "That's my pet, Roger."

  • J: Wait, the guy is the dog's pet?

  • A: Are you confused? J: Yeah!

  • C: Who pays the taxes?

  • A: To the dog IRS.

  • "It was plain to see that my ol' pet needed someone."

  • A: Oh he's trying to hook him up. He's playing dog Tinder right now!

  • D: I like how the pets and the owners look alike.

  • A: I don't. 'Cause literally 'cause of this movie, I won't get a bulldog.

  • A: I want a bulldog but I'm worried that I'm just gonna get wrinkly and fat.

  • D: I don't think you transform into your dog.

  • J: No dude, she used to be a black guy.

  • "Well, now that's a bit more like it."

  • A: He has a very good grasp on English language

  • J: Well, he's British. They invented it.

  • A: They paint him as this starving musician. J: Yet he can afford this big ass apartment in the city.

  • C: This apartment now, no one even lives in it because it's just owned by an investor from overseas.

  • D: I don't remember this movie having British accents at all. I've like Americanized the movie in my memories.

  • J: Well that's a good call for my DRINK ATTACK! Everyone: Ohhhh!

  • J: To "Young Americans".

  • A: This is cute. How do I orchestrate this?

  • J: First you need two very expensive purebred dalmatians...

  • J: Roger looks like he's from a newspaper cartoon right now.

  • A: That's it? D: Now they're married? A: What?!

  • A: They just yada yada yadaed their whole relationship?

  • J: That pond was full of molly and they just immediately fell in love.

  • J: I like how there's no one else at that wedding. Like they have no family? or friends?

  • C: They were dressed up like it was a funeral.

  • J: That priest just like finished this ceremony and went and buried a guy.

  • D: So the dogs kind of have like an arranged marriage then.

  • ♪ "Di dum da da diiim" ♪ ♪ "Ta-tum-ti-ta-tum" ♪

  • J: It's not staccato.

  • J: It's Angela Lansbury.

  • A: What, but wait, how is he a starving musician and has a maid?

  • C: I think Anita's old money. A: No wonder he wifed that immediately.

  • C: I bet that Anita's parents disapprove of Roger.

  • "Must be Cruella, your dearly devoted old schoolmate."

  • J: I can't believe they're old college mates, I always thought Cruella was her boss.

  • J: But like, does Cruella look the same age as Anita? No.

  • J: Probably 'cause she's smoking all that meth.

  • A: I remember thinking: "Oh, you can still be awesome when you're old"

  • D: I like that Roger was basically like: "Oh shit, you're annoying friend is over."

  • J: "I'm gonna go get drunk in the attic."

  • A: I like that he plays the trombone. J: He can play like every instrument.

  • A: He could be a one gal band

  • J: Oh! Check out One-Gal band on AliSpagnola's YouTube channel.

  • J: Aw, that cupcake was five dollars!

  • C: Why does Anita let her come over?

  • J: Yeah, she leaves and they have to air out the house for a week.

  • D: What'd she come over for? J: She had to ash her cigarette.

  • C: Pongo is just watching them. (laughs) He's like: "Ok, I know this is when I'm supposed to leave the room"

  • J: I wish Lucy would get the hint.

  • D: Wait, so she is preggers right now.

  • A: I feel like she is like the dog version of... J: Octomom?

  • C: No one makes octomom jokes anymore.

  • C: Aw, man. Did they have to do it underneath that stove too?

  • J: "Pongo I just loaded that bowl"

  • "Eleven puppies, Pongo boy."

  • D: That is one fertile dog. J: Yeah, Pongo's got some good swimmers in him.

  • J: Aw, it's a little dead puppy. C: Man, what if they actually really committed to that?

  • C: That was like the end of the scene. Where he's like: "That's just one of those things." Fade to the next scene.

  • A: They would now. Pixar just opens with like "Hey, everyone's dead, everything's awful."

  • D: I feel like CPR has come a long way.

  • C: Rub that puppy. J: Rub that puppy.

  • "Nanny"

  • J: He doesn't even know the nanny's name. They just call her nanny.

  • C: They just call her nanny!

  • J: Why did we give her a key?

  • "They're mongrels. No spots!" "They'll get their spots!"

  • J: Nanny, shut the fuck up.

  • A: What animal is she wearing? C: It looks like it's made of a ninetails.

  • D: What's her hair made out of?

  • A: Which part of it's real? Does she dye her hair black on one side or does she bleach it?

  • A: She's actually a redhead. (laughs)

  • C: It's funny 'cause now he's a dog too. J: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

  • D: Drink attack! (Oh!!)

  • C: I just want to be Cruella de Vil though. J: Nooo.

  • A: She's such a badass, and she has keys to everyone's door.

  • J: I imagine that the mayor gave her the key to the city for some reason.

  • D: Or maybe she just is the mayor. To mayor De Vil!

  • J: ♪ To mayor De Vil ♪ A: Who voted for her?

  • C: That's like the midquel I want, Disney.

  • D: Wait isn't Thunderbolt a Disney movie? J: Bolt is. (gasps)

  • A: Oh my god, there's a fat one! C: He's my favorite! Rolly?

  • J: Why is this programming seemingly catered towards dogs? I don't understand that.

  • C: To Rolly! "I'm hungry mamma. I really am."

  • C: Does Pluto call Mickey his pet?

  • A: What is your guys– I feel like I'm asking experts.

  • A: The like long-standing question about Pluto like, being a dog, but also, Goofy's a dog and talks.

  • J: Pluto's a dog, Goofy's a goof. D: Goofy is its own species. A: Ohhh!

  • A: Oh, like um, Gonzo D: Who's Gonzo? J: Hunter S. Thompson.

  • C: ♪ Kanine Krunchies are for me! ♪ J: ♪ We love the cruuuunch

  • A: One again, confused by someone made commercials to cater to the dogs?

  • C: To Kanine Krunchies! They're for me!

  • C: Just send your parents' social security number to this address.

  • D: I want Nickelodeon magazine please. C: Nickelooooodeon!

  • A: That's so familiar and so distant in my brain.

  • A: ♪ Write to me, Stick Stickly, PO Box 963 ♪

  • D: Oh my god. I can't believe you know Stick Stickly's home address.

  • J: Dude, I even have his email address. D: Whaaat?

  • J: I send him stick pics (laughs)

  • A: I think it's ridiculous that these guys then later got cast in Home Alone.

  • D: There are way not enough puppies for this movie's title to be it's title.

  • A: This was a clickbait.

  • A: They look like the number 10 when they're standing next to each other.

  • [Off Camera] Joel: We got a Chat Attack!

  • J: OH GOD

  • J: To Cruella as a furry!

  • C: Modern Day Cruella has a DevientArt account and takes commissions.

  • A: Oh my god, look where she lives! I definitely wanna be her.

  • A: What, is she just having candies in bed?! She's living the dream!

  • J: She has a devil phone?

  • J: She also has like cheekbone spurs.

  • D: Did you see that spoon next to her bed?

  • J: What is *that* for?

  • A: That's how she keeps her figure.

  • J: No time to eat when you're chasin' that dragon.

  • A: Alright I'm calling a Drink Attack 'cause I wanna Snapchat it.

  • A: And we're doin' a Snapchat Drink Attack, cheers! (Ayyy)

  • C: I bet Cruella got the idea to make a coat of puppies when she was just in like an opium fugue.

  • J: What are Jasper and Horace's relationship to Cruella?

  • C: Toadies?

  • D: One of 'em's secretary in the governor's office.

  • J: The other's campaign manager.

  • J: It's her third one though.

  • C: Horace and Jasper seem like they should be in Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

  • J: I wonder if there's like a henchmen administration office that you have to go to

  • J: and you can like get one tall, skinny one and one short, fat one.

  • A: On their resumes it's like: "Taking orders"

  • A: and then the other one's like: "Fucking up orders." (laughs)

  • J: Wait, so they howl to each other across the ci- I'm confused.

  • [barking]

  • J: To the Beacons of Gondor!

  • D: Whoosh.

  • C: Would the Scotland Yard for dogs be like the Scotland Backyard?

  • C: Look at all these Lady and the Tramp dogs!

  • C: There's Lady.

  • D: Why are they in like the red-light district?

  • J: There is a billboard for Kanine Krunchies! C: It's a dog dystopia.

  • A: That's also the biggest ad, like no way. That should be Coca-Cola.

  • J: Are you saying you're confused? A: Yes. D: Oh, no.

  • D: To advertising.

  • C: Oh the goose's name is Lucyyy! I'll call a Drink Attack to Lucy-

  • J: OH MY GOD how much are we gonna drink in the span of like 20 minutes?

  • C: You'll drink when I want you to drink.

  • C: This is to Lucy the goose!

  • D: Aww I forgot about Tibbs!

  • C: I love Sergeant Tibbs.

  • J: The sequel has Tibbs Xtra.

  • J: That was a Pibb joke? Is that alright?

  • D: Drink Attaaaaaack! J: You already- what? [buzzer]

  • J: We have no Drink Attacks left.

  • J: You forgot doing your Drink Attack? D: Awwww

  • D: I'm confused how he became colonel.

  • A: Was there a war? What happened in this society?

  • C: Oh hey look what we have! J: What is this, Scab Hands?

  • J: Oh we got some separation here. A: We got some layering going on.

  • A: If you guys can see...it's like yellow on the bottom!

  • J: This is a Thymely Dalmatian. Click here to see how to make this drink

  • J: in our libations studios from Disembodied Hands.

  • D: This is by far the best-smelling drink we've ever had.

  • A: I think it's me actually. Yeah it''s definitely me.

  • J: To the Great War: Part II

  • D: WHAT?! How did we miss this? We just went from 17 to 100!

  • J: It's just like five copy-pastes.

  • D: Where do you buy eighty-something puppies?

  • A: Still-Living Coats R Us.

  • J: It's like twitching while you wear it.

  • A: What are they watching? D: This is like Disney's first cartoon.

  • C: Look it, they're us! They're literally Drunk Disney right now.

  • D: This is very meta.

  • "Watch me pot His Lordship smack on the conk!"

  • D: That was the most British thing that has ever been said.

  • A: That's actually how you say "hello" in Britain.

  • C: Aww Rolly just wants that sandwich!

  • C: Oh what a diiick! (laughs)

  • D: No have you ever tried that though? J: Ash sandwich?

  • D: Oh...it's disgusting.

  • C: There'll eventually be a food truck that sells ash sandwiches

  • C: 'cause they're gonna do every other gimmick.

  • A: Only the day before Lent though.

  • J: Dude, her car has some mad control in all that snow.

  • J: I guess it is like a V16

  • A: She can dispatch the shovels at any time, she's the mayor.

  • J: Whoa what was she drinking?! Napalm?

  • C: Straight-up nail polish remover.

  • D: Wait, are cats pro-dog? Is the cat helping the dogs? I'm confused.

  • J: To Tibbs Xtra.

  • J: What is Horace doing, adjusting his body weight?

  • "I'll pop 'em on the 'ead, you do the skinnin'"

  • J: That guy's just trying to be British.

  • "Grab a torch."

  • A: He called the flashlight a torch.

  • D: That's classic Brit. A: Everything's a lift.

  • A: Walk up the lift there. This lift is filming us.

  • A: How's your lift? J: Pretty lifty.

  • A: Brought to you by...

  • D: I don't get why she didn't want the parent puppies.

  • C: When they're babies it's a lot softer.

  • J: It's like veal. They're like the veal of fur.

  • D: Aww how good do you think a puppy tastes?

  • J: I like his pink boxers. That's a bold move in 1961.

  • J: Pongo's talkin' 'bout adopting 84 children, I'm confused how they could even afford that.

  • J: To Normandy.

  • C: Oh this guyyy! This majestic dog!

  • D: Do you think her name is Perdy 'cause it sounds like "pretty?"

  • J: It's 'cause her mouth is perdy.

  • C: This scene was really controversial 'cause they drink cow milk.

  • A: So do people. C: But we don't drink it right from their nipples.

  • A: Because I don't have the opportunity! But like I'm hoping my Whole Foods like expands at some point.

  • C: Aww Rolly's so hungryyy!

  • D: He's always hungry. A: Rolly has an insulin problem.

  • D: What happened to the other dalmatian parents?

  • D: 'Cause there's clearly a number of other dalmatian parents for 84 other puppies.

  • A: Cruella is wearing them, do you see?

  • J: This movie's so cold.

  • J: Wait, both those streets are Dinsford?

  • J: Wait, are all the streets Dinsford?! I'm confused.

  • D: To the cannon at large.

  • "Look, I'm a Labrador!"

  • J: "Pongo, that's offensive!"

  • J: Pongo starts singing "Old Kentucky Home"

  • C: The black lab's pretending he's cool with it. He doesn't wanna make it uncomfortable.

  • C: But that shouldn't be his responsibility, ya know?

  • C: Also, no one lives in this town. It's really weird.

  • D: What kinda car is that? J: It's Hot Wheels, leadin' the way.

  • C: I bet they were so excited that for this scene they didn't have to animate spots.

  • D: Her full name is Perdita? J: She got a Perdita mouth.

  • D: Oh nooo! J: They're like inverse dalmatians.

  • A: Did I just get way drunker or is that actually happening?

  • J: Dude, Cruella's trippin' baaalls!

  • J: This guy's just trying to do his job.

  • C: She lost a whole sleeve!

  • D: That's why she needed that 102nd puppy. Hence the sequel.

  • Cruella De Vil

  • A: The starving artist now has a song on the radio.

  • J: They don't even have the puppies back and he already sold a song about it?

  • D: I don't understand really how the dogs know exactly how to get home.

  • J: To math.

  • "36 and 11, that's 47!" "18, Roge!"

  • C: ♪ Schfifty-five, what you say? Schfourteen-teen

  • C: Oh, wow. One of those puppies was goin' for a feel.

  • J: Yeah one of those puppies gettin' fresh.

  • We'll have a dalmatian plantation

  • J: Maybe don't say "plantation" with all these blackface puppies around.

  • D: That's his worst song yet.

  • (Cheering)

  • [Extremely slurred] D: What are you saying?! C: That is so smart.

  • What did we learn from 101 Dalmatians?

  • I learned that if you have 100 dogs in your living room, you're not a hoarder, you're just a fashion designer.

  • I learned that Cruella De Vil went to college.

  • I learned that animals are much more advanced in their society than us

  • and they're just gonna kill us and start a zootopia.

  • I learned math.

  • This has been Drunk Disney: 101 Dalmatians!

  • J: Thanks a lot for watching Drunk Disney: 101 Dalmatians!

  • C: Next up we wanna watch one of these five movies.

  • A: Vote in the poll in the upper right-hand corner to decide what video they watch next.

  • D: Have you ever been on YouTube?

  • D: Well if you have not checked out Ali Spagnola, you are missing out.

  • D: She's got...music! Comedy! (laughs)

  • D: I particularly like the music stuff. A: It's actually all CGI, I can't play anything.

  • C: That's like, more impresive.

  • J: Click us to go to her channel and subscribe. A: Physically put your mouse on me.

  • D: ♪ Put yo mouse on me ♪ (snapping) ♪ Uh uh

  • D&J: ♪ Put yo mouse on me, uh uh

  • D&J: ♪ Put yo mouse on me ♪ [whispering] J: Do it. D: ♪ Uh uh

  • [softly] J: ♪ Put yo mouse on me

(drunkenly singing Disney theme)

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