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  • ♪ [blues]

  • (boss) Do you want one?

  • (Nick) It's 8:15am.

  • (boss) It's 18 year old scotch.

  • If you want a promotion, you gotta earn it.

  • [gulping loudly]

  • [coughing]

  • (Nick) Did I tell you that Harkin tricked me into having a drink at 8:00 this morning?

  • (Dale) At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you.

  • (boss) Let's see if this thing is working...

  • Whoa, I can make out a little friend right there.

  • (Dale) Stop it.

  • (woman) Ooh, shabat shalom, somebody's circumcised.

  • (Kurt) You know your's doesn't sound that bad.

  • (boss) We need to trim some of the fat.

  • (Kurt) What do you mean by "trim the fat"?

  • (boss) I want you to fire all the fat people. Start with large Marge.

  • Marge, can you come in here please?

  • (Kurt) What?

  • (Dale) I thought he was going to give you a promotion?

  • (Nick) Yeah, no, ... he is.

  • (boss) I have decided who I want to be our new Vice President of Sales.

  • Me.

  • (Nick, muttering) What did he say?

  • (boss) Nick, please, we are in the middle of a meeting.

  • (Nick) Sorry.

  • (boss) That's alright, I'll just attribute this to your drinking problem.

  • (Kurt) You would have to admit, our lives would be a lot easier

  • if our bosses weren't alive.

  • (boss) You can fire Professor Xavier.

  • (Kurt) You mean Hank?

  • (boss) Creeps me out. Rolling around all day in his special little secret chair.

  • (Dale) I don't care how bad our bosses are, we're not murders.

  • (boss) This little sweetheart right here...

  • (Dale) My fiancee.

  • (boss)...is going to get a peek at my little photo album.

  • (Dale) You did all this while I was unconscious?

  • (boss, whispering) That's my favorite.

  • (Dale) I'm in! Let's kill this bitch!

  • (Kurt) We gotta hire a professional. Does anyone here kill people for money?

  • (M.F. Jones) I'm going to be your murder consultant.

  • (Jones) If you want to pull off brilliant murder, it's gotta look like it's an accident.

  • Ow!

  • (MFJones) You gotta be smart.

  • (Dale) It's gotta be worth, what, $15,000

  • I feel like everything's going to work out.

  • (speaking fast) Look how fast I'm picking out this crap you know.

  • I'm moving like superfast, I can't even feel my nose.

  • (Jones) Find them vulnerable.

  • (Dale) That was a peanut butter sandwich. Are you not good with peanuts?

  • (Kurt) Whoa. Whoa. Look at this.

  • (Dale) What about little jabs?. Little jabs?

  • [man moaning]

  • (Nick) My boss, that we are trying to kill, is dying in front of you,

  • and you save his life?

  • (Dale) Well, that sounds bad when you say it like that.

  • (Kurt) I was spying on your boss. She's incredibly hot.

  • (Dale) Don't talk about how hot she is.

  • (Kurt laughs). She makes herself a little snack.

  • A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog.

  • And eating them in that weird order, that's not a proper meal.

  • (Nick) It's called hot.

  • (boss) I can crush you anytime I want.

  • [crashing, yelling]

  • ♪ [Bachman Turner Overdrive - "Takin' Care of Business"]

  • Takin' care of business, every day

  • Taking' care of business, every way

  • (detective #1) Do you want to explain why you were going 61 in a 25 zone?

  • (Nick) I was drag racing.

  • (detective #2) In a Prius.

  • (Nick) I don't win a lot.

  • We be takin' care of busines, and workin' overtime, workout

  • [Captions by Captionwire.com]

♪ [blues]

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