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  • Louis, no no no no. You do not trim these hedges from top to bottom but from bottom to top.

  • As we've discussed.

  • Many times.

  • Alright I'll trim the bushes myself.

  • And you can cut the grass.

  • You cut the grass yesterday.

  • Yes.

  • what can I do for you, Ms Lauler?

  • I request a formal introduction

  • come with me

  • are you firing me?

  • you should be so lucky

  • Ms Sherman, the thought of leaving my obituary to chance is completely unreasonable to me

  • Well, I am the obituary writer. So, when the time comes, I will be writing your obituary.

  • I want you to write it now.

  • Huh

  • Here's the names of a few hundred people

  • My name is Anne Sherman, I'm from the Bristol Gazette

  • I'd like to talk to you about Harriet Lauler.

  • Now, the deceased should be loved by their families

  • There's an ex husband

  • He's a jackass

  • As I live and breathe

  • Well from the looks of it I'm not sure you do.

  • The deceased must have touched someone's life

  • I hated her.

  • So much.

  • If I want your opinion, I will give it to you.

  • That's what she told me. I was her gynaecologist.

  • Is there just one thing you could say about her that's nice?

  • If she were dead, that would be nice.

  • How's that?

  • Wow. She puts the bitch in obituary.

  • How grossly I overestimated your talent as a writer.

  • The problem isn't with my writing

  • That was just me writing about your life.

  • My life is not over, yet.

  • You are going to help shape a legacy.

  • We have to find a youth to mould

  • And that will be the person whose life I touch.

  • You got busted for drunk driving, didn't you?

  • Excuse me?

  • You're white, and you're here.

  • When I was a kid, I loved the radio

  • I'd like a job as a disk jockey.

  • And what kind of music would you play?

  • The right question would be, what would I play after I played the kinks?

  • And who is this?

  • It's my intern.

  • Waddup!

  • Did I just lose my job to a hundred year old woman?

  • This is Harriet Lauler saying 'please don't have a nice day'.

  • I don't know if I can write your obituary.

  • I'm just not ready to close this chapter of my life.

  • Have a day that matters. Have a day that's true.

  • Punch it.

  • Have a day that means something.

  • Harriet, you're a piece of work.

  • I am who I am.

Louis, no no no no. You do not trim these hedges from top to bottom but from bottom to top.

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