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  • you wanna know what makes whiskey the most epic drink of all-time?

  • how about f*%#ing everything.

  • drinking a glass of whiskey a day helps prevent cancer.

  • you know what it also prevents? you looking like a total piece of S#*%.

  • Whiskey's the only drink that blind you and cure that blindness at the same time.

  • people who drink whiskey are less likely to get alzheimers and more likely to get laid. Statistically.

  • so you want to keep that sexy body?

  • Drink whiskey. Low carb and fat free.

  • 0 your a gluten-free vegan well I've got this great new diet plan.

  • it's called shut up and drink your whisky

  • Yes whiskey has gluten in it. Just like your vagina sand.

  • Whiskey is the most important meal of the day.

  • That's what my kids taught me.

  • whiskey's the only drink that when you drink it and wince you actually look cool.

  • See.

  • Whiskey's aged in oak casks

  • what's gin aged in? Grandma's perfume bottles?

  • knowing a lot about wine means you're a sissy

  • knowing a lot about vodka means you're a club douche.

  • knowing a lot about whiskey, means your a true American hero.

  • God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the world.

  • That's a fact

  • Did you know that george washington had a whiskey distillery?

  • yeah, it's as American as apple pie.

  • Whiskey owns you. Not the other way around. That's because whiskey is nobody's b@*$#.

  • Whiskey puts hair on your chest, even if you don't want it.

  • the best cure for whiskey hangover more whiskey.

  • You know who'd be impressed you drink whiskey? Ric Flair.

  • Tom Selleck, John Wayne, president eisenhower

  • Rachel Maddow, Rowdy Roddy Piper, eddie Van Halen

  • my boyfriend's motorcycle mechanic, SEAL team 6.

  • bukowski. Oh yeah and me.

  • Listen, the truth is that the only thing you really need to know about whiskey

  • is that you should be drinking and right now. Cheers.

  • The only thing hotter than a hot girl drinking whiskey

  • is a hot guy drinking whiskey.

  • I tried to wink and it looked bad.

you wanna know what makes whiskey the most epic drink of all-time?

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