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  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Comes the most forgettable Twilight movie

  • yet

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Witness the continuation of one of the most

  • forced love triangles in film history

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Where this shirtless guy is clearly a third

  • wheel.

  • EDWARDWe don’t need you to handle anything

  • BELLAUgh!”

  • NARRATOR Because she told him in previous movies and

  • in this movie, that she will always choose Shovel-Face.

  • JACOBYoure marrying him?”

  • NARRATOR But that won’t stop her from leading him

  • on.

  • BELLA “I’m asking youto kiss me.”

  • NARRATOR Just so they can continue to sellTeam

  • Jacob” t-shirtsand pad the running time, with three-way stares.

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Prepare yourself, for two hours of filler,

  • like...

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Laying in bed

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Walking around outside

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Villains standing around doing nothing

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) And pointless flashbacks for minor characters.

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) A movie so gay

  • It has groups of shirtless boys

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Shovelface refusing sex.

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) And the tent scene out of Brokeback Mountain.

  • JACOB “I am hotter than you.”

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) An actress so terrible...

  • BELLAHave you…”

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) She speaks with weird long pauses.

  • BELLA “…imprinted on someone?”

  • BELLA (CONT’D) “Were gonna talk about this butyou.”

  • BELLA (CONT’D) “I wouldnt be uhwarm.”

  • BELLA (CONT’D) “You lookedworried.”

  • BELLA (CONT’D) “My life is notmiserable.”

  • BELLA (CONT’D) “Edward isold school.”

  • NARRATOR And three movies in, still has the same dumb

  • expression.

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Is every director afraid to tell her to close

  • her mouth?

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) A final battle so unfulfilling, it’s built

  • up an entire movie

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) but is over about a minute

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) and doesn’t have any impact on the overall

  • saga.

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) A film so bland

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Oh no, this again..

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Even we are running out of things to be honest

  • about

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) It’s lazy even by Twilight standards.

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Don’t forget to watch this weeks Screen

  • Junkies episode...

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Where dads answer Twilight trivia for their

  • daughters

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) We made an eleven year old cry.

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D And tell me something you’d like to hear

  • me say in my epic voice.


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B1 cont narrator cont narrator bella twilight jacob

Honest Trailers - Twilight 3: Eclipse

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    VoiceTube posted on 2013/02/17
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