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  • NARRATOR: From Joss Whedon, God of the nerds, comes

  • the movie blockbuster that finally unites the world’s greatest superheroes... that

  • Marvel still has the rights to. The Avengers! The ultimate two hour geek fantasy that blinds

  • all nerds from admitting any legitimate criticism. And put all of DC Comics on suicide watch.

  • A villain, who inexplicably returns from the dead, will vow vengeance on the planet where

  • his demigod brother’s sort-of-girlfriend lives. Forcing this bluetooth obsessed government

  • agency to assemble the heroes from Marvel’s greatest franchises, except Spider-Man, Fantastic

  • Four, and X-Men. Suit up with Iron Man - everyone’s favorite secondary Marvel character - who

  • must redeem himself from the god awful Iron Man 2. Thor - who sort of pulled off his own

  • movie, but who’s appearance here completely negates its ending. Captain America - no one’s

  • favorite character, who just kinda has to be there. And The Incredible Hulkwho,

  • for the sake of the plot, can now suddenly control his rage

  • BRUCE BANNER: I’m always angry.

  • NARRATOR: …without any explanation. Which doesn’t

  • mattercause that shot was awesome! Witness... the excitement...

  • IRON MAN: I need you to get to that engine control panel

  • NARRATOR: …of Iron Man repairing a spaceship for twenty

  • minutes. The thrill of generic aliens on flying jet skis. The confusing energy source of the

  • Tesseract

  • SELVIG: The Tesseract can fight, but you can’t protect

  • against yourself

  • NARRATOR: …and its completely unjustified fail safe.

  • The explosion that instantly kills every alien, conveniently tying up all loose ends. The

  • Bromance

  • TONY STARK: Hey.

  • NARRATOR: And the character in the middle of the credits,

  • who every nerd in the audience pretended to know. A movie so fulfillingyou won’t

  • remember that the first 45 minutes are actually kind of boring. A villain so determined...

  • LOKI: You need the cube to bring me home, but I’ve

  • sent it off I know not where.

  • NARRATOR: …youll wonder why he’s uniting the

  • only people who can stop him, in hopes of getting them to dislike each other.

  • TONY STARK: Not a great plan.

  • NARRATOR: Battles so action packed...

  • HAWKEYE: Stark, youve got a lot of strays stuck

  • on your tail.

  • NARRATOR: You won’t even ask yourself, “how are

  • they even all talking to each other without ear pieces?”

  • BLACK WIDOW: I can close it, can anybody copy?

  • CAPTAIN AMERICA: Do it.

  • TONY STARK: No, wait.

  • CAPTAIN AMERICA: Stark, these things are still coming.

  • NARRATOR: Starring... Bore. Pinkeye. Iron Man Pooping.

  • Not Edward Norton. The Human Torch. Leather Boobs. Mace Windu. And Gay Bane.

  • NARRATOR: Marvel’s The Avengers! If this doesn’t

  • make your inner eight year old self squeal in delight youre likely dead inside...

  • or a girl. If you like Honest Trailers, then please check out our brand new weekly series,

  • The Screen Junkies Show. Seriously, don’t be a jerk. We worked real hard on this new

  • show. So check it out and leave a comment. And, as always, leave a comment with the movie

  • you’d like to see get the Honest treatment next. Cats with boobies. Oppa Gangnam Style.

  • Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but here’s my number so call me maybe.

NARRATOR: From Joss Whedon, God of the nerds, comes

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Honest Trailers - The Avengers

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    VoiceTube posted on 2013/02/17
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