Real Mahjong. None of that tile-matching BS here. No, you’re playing the actual game,

and you’re going to get schooled by this grandmother and this kid wearing a weird dog-ear

hat. It’s all a mind game, after all. Do you have the intestinal fortitude to sit at

a table for hours at a time? I sure don’t. After all, there are girls in bunny suits

all over the place! But, for the sake of this review and in the spirit of due diligence,

I’ll tolerate this grandmother and the dog-ear kid and this other woman and play some Mahjong.

For you. For Christmas.

Yeah, it’s not really that much to watch, unless you happen to understand what’s going

on (or you’ve seen the anime Saki, one of the two) and know that this form of the game

has long been popular in Japanese arcades and home consoles... though usually with the

selling point of women taking their clothes off. Unfortunately, Nichibutsu Super Mahjong

features no such action. Just Mahjong. But if it means you’ll continue watching this

video, please feel free to believe there is such a payoff at the end. Maybe I’ll slap

in some Bayonetta footage or something. Maybe I won’t. You’ll just have to sit there

and be patient, like you’re waiting for that one tile that’ll finish your hand.

Altana knows it’s a situation I spent most of this playthrough in, as the turns went

round and round and I just got screwed over and over again. See this woman right here?

I think she’s a demon. A mahjong-playing demon, sent to torture me. And this is her

sister, whom I played in a heads-up scrimmage. And I got beaten like rented mule, despite

my actually being kinda decent at this game. Maybe that only counts when I’m stealing

the lead away from dog-ear kid. YOU HEARD ME, KID. SHUFFLE THE DAMN TILES AND STOP CRYING.

And that’s about it. The game ostensibly takes place in a large facility with separate

floors for the various game modes, though during gameplay itself you see the table and

that’s it. And even then, just the important parts: Your rack, your opponents’ discards,

and some assorted data. If you’re playing with four, you’ll only actually see your

opponents when they’re saying something (though the inclusion of different voices

is a fairly nice touch). In heads-up, though, there’s fire and lightning effects to be

had and epic musical changes... or as epic as the situation can get, considering that

you’re probably just going to continue drawing tiles until the hand ends in a draw. Oh well,

back to picking on the dog-eared kid. He totally deserves it. WHO WEARS A HAT LIKE THAT TO

THE TABLE? I’m trying to get my drink on and this kid’s freakin’ me out. Honestly.