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  • ♪♪♪

  • OK THEY GOT WATER, ORANGE JUICE

  • AND WHAT LOOKS LIKE CIDER

  • TASTE IT

  • YEP ITS FAT

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I JUST DRANK FAT

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • YEAH I KNOW I DID THAT TWO MINUTES AGO

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • HEY

  • HEY MR. TUCKS

  • WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS DRESSED?

  • WE HAVE A HALF HOUR

  • NO FOUR MINUTES AGO YOU HAD A HALF HOUR

  • WE HAVE TO BE OUT THE DOOR AT TWENTY TILL EIGHT

  • RELAX ROSS WE'LL BE READY

  • IT ONLY TAKES US TWO MINUTES TO GET DRESSED

  • I'D FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER IF YOU GOT DRESSED NOW

  • OK

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • HEY, HEY, OH LOOK AT YOU ALL SEXY

  • REALLY

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • OOH, OH WOW

  • HI

  • HI

  • HOW COME YOU DIDN'T COME OVER EARLIER?

  • BECAUSE I'M A STUPID, STUPID MAN

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • SO LOOK AT YOU

  • YOU'RE PRETTY CLOSE

  • YEAH I JUST HAVE TO GET DRESSED

  • YEAH, AND THAT TAKES WHAT?

  • JUST SIX OR SEVEN MINUTES

  • YEAH, ONCE I FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M WEARING

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • GLASS OF FAT

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • ♪♪♪

  • FRIENDS

  • HOW MANY OF US HAVE THEM? ♪

  • FRIENDS

  • ONES WE CAN DEPEND ON

  • FRIENDS

  • HOW MANY OF US HAVE THEM? ♪

  • FRIENDS

  • BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER, LETS BE

  • FRIENDS

  • ♪♪♪

  • FRIENDS

  • ♪♪♪

  • HI

  • HEY

  • OH, PHEOBE, YOU LOOK GREAT

  • ALRIGHT ALREADY

  • WOOH. ARE YOU GONNA DO MAGIC?

  • THAT... THAT IS FUNNY.

  • CHANGE.

  • HEY GUYS, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE SOMETHING

  • THE GIRLFRIEND OF A PALEONTOLOGIST WOULD WEAR?

  • I DON'T KNOW, YOU MIGHT BE THE FIRST ONE.

  • HEY RACH, DID YOU CHECK THE MACHINE?

  • UH, NO. WAIT YOU KNOW WHAT?

  • THIS IS THE OUTFIT THAT MAKES MY CALVES LOOK FAT

  • NEVER MIND.

  • MONICA, ITS RICHARD. CALL ME.

  • MY BAD EVERYBODY, THATS MY FAULT.

  • CAN WE TAKE FIVE ANYWAY?

  • ALRIGHT, LETS TAKE A FIVE.

  • I'M GOOD, YOU ALRIGHT?

  • I'M TIRED AS FUCK, I KNOW THAT.

  • I HOPE THAT WAS AT LEAST IMPORTANT BRO

  • YEAH, NO NO IT'S AN AMBER ALERT

  • BUT IT'S AN AMBER ROSE ALERT.

  • YO

  • WASSUP MAN?

  • WADDUP MAN

  • THANKS FOR COMING BY.

  • NO PROBLEM

  • HEY, ALRIGHT

  • BE A HUNDRED PERCENT HONEST WITH ME

  • WHAT'D YOU THINK?

  • GARBAGE.

  • WHAT?

  • IT WAS TERRIBLE MAN

  • IT WAS WACK AS SHIT

  • ITS JUST EPISODES OF SEINFELD,

  • BUT WITH BLACK PEOPLE

  • THATS FRIENDS

  • WHO ASKED FOR THAT?

  • WHEN THEY ASKED ME TO DO IT, I WAS LIKE

  • ALRIGHT THIS IS SOMETHING LIKE SUBVERSIVE,

  • SOMETHING THAT WOULD TURN A CULTURE ON ITS HEAD

  • WELL YOU DID A GOOD JOB OF SUBVERTING GOOD COMEDY

  • YOU GONNA DO A BLACK FULL HOUSE NEXT?

  • FAMILY TIES?

  • I'M NOT DOING NO BLACK FULL HOUSE OR FAMILY TIES.

  • WHY STOP THERE

  • WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

  • CHILLING MAN I JUST BOOKED THIS ROLE

  • IN PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: CRUISE LINE.

  • YEAH I PLAY A PARROT WITH A BAD ATTITUDE,

  • BUT HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD.

  • IT'S TERRIBLE, BUT ITS WAY BETTER THAN THIS SHIT.

  • YEAH, YEAH

  • IF IT IS A NEW MESSAGE WHAT IS HE CALLING TO SAY?

  • MAYBE HE IS CALLING TO SAY YOU'RE OBSESSIVE AND CRAZY

  • SO SHOULD I CALL HIM BACK

  • NO [AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

  • NO [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

  • ALRIGHT FINE YOU KNOW WHAT

  • WE'LL BOTH SIT IN THE CHAIR

  • FINE WITH ME [AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

  • I'M SO COMFORTABLE [AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

  • ME TOO [AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

  • IN FACT I'M A LITTLE TO COMFORTABLE

  • - I CALLED HIM - NO

  • YES, WE'LL I GOT HIS MACHINE AN I LEFT A MESSAGE

  • BUT IT'S OK, IT'S OK, IT'S OK

  • CAUSE IT WAS YOU KNOW LIKE A CASUAL BREEZY MESSAGE

  • IT WAS BREEZY

  • OH GOD WHAT IF IT WASN'T BREEZY

  • WELL HOW COULD IT NOT BE BREEZY

  • NO CAUSE YOUR IN SUCH A BREEZY PLACE

  • I KNOW, I WILL PLAY THE MESSAGE FOR YOU GUYS

  • AND YOU WILL TELL ME IF ITS BREEZY ENOUGH

  • YEAH

  • ♪ I GOT A LITTLE COLD SO BEAR WITH ME

  • YEAH, YEAH

  • WE STUCK IN LALA LAND

  • EVEN WHEN WE WIN WE GON' LOSE

  • WE GOT THE SAME FUCKING FLOWS

  • ♪ I DON'T KNOW WHO IS WHO

  • WE GOT THE SAME FUCKING WATCH

  • SHE DON'T GOT TIME TO CHOOSE

  • WE STUCK IN LALA LAND

  • WE GOT THE SAME FUCKING MOVES

  • ♪ Y'ALL NIGGAS STILL SIGNING DEALS, STILL

  • AFTER ALL THAT THEY DONE STOLE, FOR REAL

  • AFTER WHAT THEY DONE TO OUR LAURYN HILL

  • AND Y'ALL NIGGAS IS SUPPOSED TO BE TRILL

  • GUESS WE'LL TALK WHEN YOU BEHIND ON YOUR TAXES

  • AND YOU PAWNED ALL YOUR CHAINS

  • AND THEY RUN OFF WITH YOUR MASTERS

  • AND TOOK IT TO BEVERLY HILLS

  • WHILE WE IN CALABASAS

  • AND MY HEAD IS SCRATCHING

  • CAUSE THAT SHIT IS BACKWARDS

  • AND THAT SHIT AIN'T RIGHT

  • LUCIAN IS COOL

  • BUT LUCIAN DON'T WRITE AND

  • DOUG AIN'T THIS TIGHT SO

  • FUCK WHAT WE SELLING

  • FUCK IS WE MAKING

  • CAUSE THEIR GRASS IS GREENER

  • CAUSE THEY ALWAYS RAKING IN MORE

  • NA NA NA NA

  • NAH

  • NAH

  • THE ACADEMY AWARD FOR BEST PICTURE LALA LAND

  • [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

♪♪♪

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