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  • It's me Charlene.

  • Raise your hands.

  • I am sorry I was eight hours late for brunch yesterday.

  • I...I..I forgot.

  • I'm speechless.

  • I just don't believe in being on time.

  • Ah, crap.

  • I forgot my pills.

  • I've been so busy today.

  • Actually I've been looking at pictures of baby goats.

  • Yeah, I've been really busy,

  • three hours of doing work.

  • (three hours of looking at baby goats)

  • I'm feeling really good about myself tonight,

  • so I am just gonna

  • have some water, refreshing.

  • Oh no, I missed my mouth

  • Looking flawless like my dreams.

  • Girl, I know I am a mess,

  • but that's what I live for.

  • I don't follow rules.

  • I follow dogs on social media.

  • You know how I get my look?

  • My routine?

  • I roll outta bed and show up.

  • I don't like effort.

  • Sorry, it took me three years to respond back to your text because

  • I don't really understand technology

  • and I'm sorry for the divorce.

  • Oh, I'm sorry um......

  • What were we doing?

  • Oh, uh... yea

  • I'm sorry I just do that sometimes

  • on surfaces and couches.

  • Couchs

  • Couches

  • Couch

  • I don't know how to say it.

  • My life is a chain of awkward selfies.

  • I feel so cute tonight.

  • So I'm going to take a picture of myself.

  • (sneezes)

  • Oh no.

  • Love me or hate me,

  • but I'm awkward..so..

  • Gotta deal with it honey.

  • I know it's Saturday, but I can't come out.

  • I'm old and tired.

  • Respect your elders.

  • My back!

  • People keep saying, "Charlene, why are you so extra?",

  • but I think about it, and I'm like....

  • not as extra as the extra large fries I'm eating tonight.

  • I'm literally the best person I know.

  • I talk to myself all the time.

  • I hang out with myself all the time,

  • like seriously.

  • I can listen to Despacito alone

  • What are you?

  • Humans....

It's me Charlene.

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