It's me, mom.

Out here in public.

Catching some side eye.

First rule of motherhood -- someone's always judging.

Breastfeeding? Didn't work out.

Guess what?

World's still turning.

Go to work?

I'm missing his childhood.

Stay at home?

I have no ambition.

Yeah, I bribe my kids.

How else do you think stuff gets done around here?

No, I'm not the grandma.

Do I look like her grandma?

Mom's special juice?

It's wine.

Yoga pants?

Big thing.

Too much?

How do you think I got the name Mom in the first place?

Now if you think that's shocking, check this out.

Good old fashioned Yoplait.

It's not made with cage-free Norwegian hemp milk.

And guess what?

She loves it!