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  • Here I am with The Legend of Zelda

  • Pro Skater

  • WOOHOHOOOOO

  • Uh-oh. Wait, wait, WAIT!

  • God damn-

  • I'm gonna try and kill you guys with this tree trunk, ok?

  • Hold that, hold that end up, hold that- no. You guys are fucking this whole thing up.

  • *Giggles*

  • *Laughs*

  • Now stop.

  • Roll over.

  • Good boy! Who's a good boy?

  • Right boy, now fetch!

  • Yah! Go get it!

  • Go get the stick!

  • I'm gonna do like a log roll.

  • Kill 'em.

  • Roll over 'em. See what I'm saying here?

  • *game over music*

  • Paulie, send in the boulder.

  • Heh heh. This guy's so fucked.

  • Paulie you're fired.

  • Now don't try to kiss up to me now. You're fired. You are outta here.

  • Look guys. I found a horsie.

  • *Link groans*

  • *Game Over music*

  • Fuck you Paulie.

  • This guy sucks!

  • Let me show you. Let me show you how to do it.

  • Let me show you. You get it out and bam!

  • You just do it. One of those.

  • It's raining now.

  • OH SHIT! Oh shit did you see that?!

  • You know what they say- always hide under a tree.

  • Cus that way you can't get hit.

  • The fuck?

  • Ah-ah. Don't you blow that horn.

  • Ah-ah. Don't-

  • Don't you get struck by lightning!

  • Fall in the river and die.

  • Don't worry guys- I've saved my best move for last.

  • I call this one the Rock Bottom.

  • HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • *Game Over music*

  • Watch out for my Lizard Forked Boomerang!

  • GEEEEE YAH!

  • Oh! He just caught it out of the air!

  • Whatcha gonna do now dumbass? You don't have any weapons.

  • Oh f- what the? WHAT THE-?!

  • AHAHAHAHA

  • This guy.

  • Now this guy is the most killdest guy.

  • Remember that one guy? Well now it's this guy.

  • Just one more and we're all don-

  • Oh?

  • He's woke- He's dancing! *laughs*

  • He's so happy!

  • If only he knew the reality, of his situation.

  • Goobaye!

  • *BOOM*

  • Bawbay!

  • It so good to see you landed on your feet, man. I though you died in that explosion.

  • It looks like you're, what are you a janitor now?

  • Why is this thing called a guardian?

  • *SWOOP*

  • It just fuckin' kills me.

  • The fuck with this shi- Ow!

  • Aw! Augh! STAP!

  • *laughs*

  • Okay. I'm figurin' it out. I know all his moves now.

  • Oh-Aw-what? fuck?

  • Okay. He's got a new move now.

  • Let me win you fuckin-

  • Damn this guy, I hate this fuckin-

  • Bait this out, then he goes in for the hit.

  • Then he gets stuck, okay? Then you get a couple of hits.

  • Then FAPOW! POW! See that.

  • *swoop*

  • And then he fuckin' kills you anyway.

  • Aaah now I'm gettin' it.

  • Hey, what's goin' on over there, eh?

  • Health bar's lookin a little low- you fuckin' piece of shit!

  • You fuckin', DIE-

  • What the fuck is- He's doin' some new shit now.

  • What is he doing?

  • Shit! What the fuck!

  • What the fuck!

  • Maaan, come on.

  • He's chargin' it up again?!

  • *Babbling*

  • Eat the food you fucking piece of shit!

  • Give me a break, man. Co- JESUS CHRIST!

  • It doesn't, never stops!!!

  • Goddammit!

  • Stahp!!! Stop shooting the fuckin laser! God-

  • *Breathing Excessively*

  • Come on you motherfucker!

  • C'mon.

  • *Grunting*

  • Just...Fuckin'...DIE!

  • *Random babbling*

  • *exhale*

  • That's a pretty good weapon.

  • I just broke it.

  • Ahaha! See ya later, you fuckin' animals!

  • No, don't pop the balloons. Please!

  • *BEEP BEEP*

  • Eeeeeh

  • Catch!

  • *laughs*

  • Aw, dude did you hear that? She likes me!

  • This is the woman of my dreams! Such an amazing feeling!

  • How can I ever repay you?

  • Tony, get the boulder.

  • Welcome back to Cooking with the dunk!

  • Today, I'm gonna show ya how to cook the perfect Seared Primed Steak.

  • every ti-

  • *Grunting*

  • *POOF*

  • And there you go.

  • Just look at those, beautiful, beautiful steaks.

  • Well, well, well, look what we got goin' on here?

  • Puttin' yourself back together again? What are you, Humpty Dumpty?

  • You know what, give me that.

  • You are outta here!

  • *kick*

  • *Splash*

  • Hahahahaha! As we speak, your very weapon is being Fulton-ed to mother base,

  • for me to research and develop... to se- no.

  • Put that back!

  • Fuck these guys.

  • *BOOM*

  • I'm a genius.

  • Don't you fuckin' hit me, man!

  • Don't you do it, don- uh!

  • See? I tried to tell him.

  • I try to tell people shit, and they don't fuckin' listen

  • You just don't hit a chicken in Zelda. Even I know that.

  • And I'm a goddamn donkey, for crying out loud.

  • Yes! It worked!

  • Set sail for adventure, ladies and gentlemen!

  • I christen this ship, the SS...

  • Fuckin' piece of shit!

  • Maybe it still, nah maybe it still...no.

  • Here you go, Bobokin! A new weapon for you!

  • Pick it- No don't kick it!

  • You pick it up! Here!

  • Asshole! You're rui-

  • There you go. There you go, see? He gets it!

  • There you go!

  • For you, Bobokin, I give you the leaf.

  • Cause I'm, quite frankly, I'm sick of your shit.

  • Good luck killing me with a leaf.

  • *Laughs* Aw, that's kinda cute.

  • He's just trying, He's just trying his best.

  • *Laughs* What are you doin' there, a little spin attack?

  • Why did I give him the leaf? That's my best weapon that I had.

  • Do that spin move you do. With the uh-

  • Yeah, there ya go! That's the one!

  • Okay, now come over here!

  • Now stand right...right, yeah there you go.

  • *laughs*

  • What's going on with the barrel, huh?

  • Cause you ain't throwing it.

  • Barrel's right there.

  • Trying it again. What?

  • But...there's no barrel.

  • What are you throwing?

  • You don't even have a barr-

  • Bye bye.

  • *Falling Sound Effect*

  • *crash*

  • Uh-oh.

  • Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa.

  • nahnahnahnahnahnah Whoawhoawhoawhoa nah-

  • Nah- Whoa- Wha- Huh? Huh?

  • Wha- Ah-

  • Oh my god, I'm still alive!

  • *smack*