Did you play high school basketball?

Ahh...OK, we being honest?

Like, 'cause you can find footage, so I don't know how far I can lie.

OK.

Alright, listen, I played high school basketball.

I played four years of varsity, but it wasn't, it wasn't easy, OK?

I wanted to play real bad.

This is all I wanted to do.

And my mom, she didn't want me to try out because my school was like two hours from my house and we had to catch public transportation.

And the tryouts for the basketball team was at 6 am.

It is a true story.

And my mom was like, "You're not leaving our house at 4 am to go try out for a basketball team."

"There's all types of crazy people out here, I'm not sending my son on public transportation at that time."

I was like, "But mom, this is the tryouts."

Like "I want to be on the team, this is the only way I can get to be on the team."

She's like, "No, not gonna happen."

So, because I'm such a genius, I decided to take all the clocks in the house, and set all of the clocks forward.

- So when it was... - How far forward?

Oh, I set it forward bad.

So I...when it was really 4 am, I set the clock to say 6 am, 'cause that's what time I was leaving.

So, like, I woke my mom up and everything, like it was time for work, like gotta get up.

She was like, "It's still dark out, what's going on today?"

I was like, "I don't know, but we got to get up out of here."

"It's time to go."

VCRs, clocks, her watches, everything.

I set every clock in the house and I made it to the tryouts.

I tried it out and I was happy my plan worked.

And midway through the day, I remember being in class.

You know, classrooms got those skinny windows, right?

And I'm like doing my work.

And I remember a head popping in the window.

And that was my mom.

My mom, she was like, she's just biting her lips.

And I remember the teacher's like, "Mr. Hart, your mother wants to see you."

And I was like, "Don't...don't let me go out there by myself."

And he was like, "Go on, Mr. Hart, you're excused."

I said, "No, no, no, please, you gotta come out there with me."

And I remember walking down that hall, and all I heard her say was, "You had me get to work two hours early!"

BOP!

She was like, "When nobody else in the office but me!"

She beat me all the way home.

At every bus we got on, she hit me, "Had me on the bus with nobody else on the bus!"

The train.

I've never...I think I've got whopped, a man got whopped for three and a half hours straight and there was nothing I could say.

And I was happy 'cause I made the team, and she was like...

Oh you made the team!

I made the team!

And so that is one of the lessons learned.

It's one of the lessons, that's one of our life lessons.

What was the lesson exactly?

- I'm gonna be honest with you, there was no lesson in that one. - There was no lesson!

It's called "I can't make this up."

It's "Life Lessons" by Kevin Hart.

And, go see him in a very funny movie, "Captain Underpants," it's in theaters tomorrow.

Hi, I'm Jimmy Kimmel, if you like that, click the subscribe button below, and good things will happen forever.