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  • When you're in Germany, you eat sausage.

  • That's pretty much what they have.

  • They have a lot of sausage here.

  • I had sausage for breakfast, you have sausage for lunch,

  • you have sausage for dinner.

  • I went to a bar, they put sausage in a glass,

  • and you drink it. (audience chuckles)

  • It's crazy.

  • See that little girl over there?

  • That's a sausage lollipop

  • she's eating right now. (audience laughs)

  • I'm gonna go inside, find out how it all happens.

  • This is, your name, sir?

  • Marcus?

  • Benser.

  • You make sausage.

  • (German language), I'm the Master, (German language).

  • You're the master- Yes.

  • of making sausage.

  • (German language)

  • Well, you have a high opinion of yourself, do you?

  • (audience laughs)

  • Tell me what's going on here.

  • Grobe mettwurst.

  • [Conan] Okay.

  • Zwiebelmettwurst.

  • [Conan] Right.

  • Bau nel berwurst.

  • Nein, Bauern-leber-wurst.

  • Baueren-leber-wurst.

  • (German language)

  • Ah, my tongue won't do the language right.

  • I'm worried that if I use my tongue around you,

  • you might snatch it and make it into a sausage.

  • I got my eye on this guy.

  • (Marcus laughs)

  • What is that? That looks-

  • (German language)

  • Uh, I have to tell you, that looks awful.

  • It just looks like someone was in a horrible accident!

  • Agh!

  • (German language).

  • Eat!

  • [Conan] Can I,

  • [Conan] Oh, I take it off?

  • [Marcus] Yes.

  • What's inside? Please tell me.

  • First, you eat, then I say.

  • No!

  • (laughs)

  • (German language), here!

  • Mmm.

  • Mmm.

  • Mmm.

  • Mmm.

  • [Conan] And what's that over there?

  • This is salami.

  • Salami!

  • Salami.

  • Great.

  • We're gonna make some sausage.

  • (German language) (audience laughs)

  • come on.

  • I don't want to go in here with him.

  • (audience laughs)

  • If I'm never heard from again,

  • Find me.

  • Avenge me.

  • Ah! You again.

  • In a way, I am a sausage maker.

  • My show and the people laughing are sausages.

  • When people laugh, that's a sausage.

  • That's my sausage,

  • people laughing. (audience laughs)

  • You make your sausages, which are made of pieces of animal,

  • and I make my sausages, which is the smiles.

  • You understand?

  • [Marcus] Yes. [Conan] Is that clear?

  • This is a sausage that I made,

  • what I'm doing today.

  • Not actually making sausage, but making people laugh.

  • That's my sausage.

  • Okay.

  • Did I over-explain it?

  • Too much?

  • Too much with me explaining?

  • Want me to explain a little more?

  • Yes.

  • When I make people laugh, (audience laughs)

  • that is like your sausage for me.

  • [Marcus] Yes. [Conan] I am a sausage man,

  • only I don't make sausages.

  • I make people smile and laugh.

  • [Marcus] Okay. [Conan] So, when I make someone

  • laugh, the laughter that comes

  • out of their face is a sausage.

  • When people laugh, the noise they make is my sausage.

  • Okay. (audience chuckles)

  • Then, so that's how I fill my world with my sausages.

  • You see?

  • (laughs) Yes.

  • Want me to explain a little more?

  • (laughs) (audience roars with laughter)

  • So...

  • (Marcus laughs)

  • We make two pieces. Grobe Bratwurst.

  • [Conan] Grobe bratwurst

  • And then, we make Feine Bratwurst.

  • Ah!

  • What is that?

  • What's in there?

  • What's that?

  • (German language)

  • Now that I've seen that, I have to go, don't I? (audience laughs)

  • Okay, so want me to pour it?

  • (German language)

  • Okay.

  • [Marcus] Okay.

  • [Conan] Sausage goes in there.

  • What are you doing?

  • What's happening?

  • To cut.

  • [Conan] Oh my god!

  • You're insane!

  • When the TV not going on for you,

  • you can come here and work.

  • (audience laughs)

  • When I'm no longer on TV, I can come work for you?

  • Will you be a good boss, are you a fun boss?

  • (audience laughs) I am a good boss?

  • (audience claps)

  • Yeah.

  • What happens if they had said no?

  • (audience laughs)

  • So. Like Hans, right?

  • Remember Hans guys?

  • He got outta line!

  • Hans

  • (Conan yells)

  • Ah!

  • [Marcus] Okay.

  • (audience laughs)

  • Oh, uh...

  • You can eat.

  • It's very good.

  • It's raw.

  • Ya. Yes.

  • Why don't you go first?

  • Mmmm. (audience laughs)

  • (audience laughs) Mmmm. Oh, good.

  • Okay.

  • (audience laughs loudly) Okay.

  • Now that can happen.

  • I'm now spreading the pig's intestines

  • over this tube.

  • Come on. (German language) [Conan] What?

  • Don't yell at me!

  • (yells)

  • I feel like I'm jerking off a robot.

  • (audience laughs)

  • Ah good.

  • Ah!

  • This is a big sausage!

  • [Marcus] Bratwurst.

  • [Conan] Ah!

  • It's a typical German sausage.

  • Oh, very good.

  • You think maybe you'd let me run the shop one day?

  • Can I ever be the boss of the shop?

  • (Marcus chuckles)

When you're in Germany, you eat sausage.

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