Subtitles section Play video
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When you're in Germany, you eat sausage.
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That's pretty much what they have.
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They have a lot of sausage here.
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I had sausage for breakfast, you have sausage for lunch,
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you have sausage for dinner.
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I went to a bar, they put sausage in a glass,
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and you drink it. (audience chuckles)
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It's crazy.
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See that little girl over there?
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That's a sausage lollipop
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she's eating right now. (audience laughs)
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I'm gonna go inside, find out how it all happens.
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This is, your name, sir?
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Marcus?
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Benser.
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You make sausage.
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(German language), I'm the Master, (German language).
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You're the master- Yes.
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of making sausage.
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(German language)
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Well, you have a high opinion of yourself, do you?
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(audience laughs)
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Tell me what's going on here.
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Grobe mettwurst.
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[Conan] Okay.
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Zwiebelmettwurst.
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[Conan] Right.
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Bau nel berwurst.
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Nein, Bauern-leber-wurst.
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Baueren-leber-wurst.
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(German language)
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Ah, my tongue won't do the language right.
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I'm worried that if I use my tongue around you,
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you might snatch it and make it into a sausage.
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I got my eye on this guy.
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(Marcus laughs)
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What is that? That looks-
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(German language)
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Uh, I have to tell you, that looks awful.
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It just looks like someone was in a horrible accident!
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Agh!
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(German language).
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Eat!
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[Conan] Can I,
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[Conan] Oh, I take it off?
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[Marcus] Yes.
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What's inside? Please tell me.
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First, you eat, then I say.
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No!
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(laughs)
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(German language), here!
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Mmm.
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Mmm.
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Mmm.
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Mmm.
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[Conan] And what's that over there?
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This is salami.
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Salami!
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Salami.
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Great.
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We're gonna make some sausage.
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(German language) (audience laughs)
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come on.
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I don't want to go in here with him.
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(audience laughs)
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If I'm never heard from again,
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Find me.
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Avenge me.
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Ah! You again.
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In a way, I am a sausage maker.
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My show and the people laughing are sausages.
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When people laugh, that's a sausage.
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That's my sausage,
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people laughing. (audience laughs)
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You make your sausages, which are made of pieces of animal,
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and I make my sausages, which is the smiles.
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You understand?
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[Marcus] Yes. [Conan] Is that clear?
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This is a sausage that I made,
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what I'm doing today.
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Not actually making sausage, but making people laugh.
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That's my sausage.
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Okay.
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Did I over-explain it?
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Too much?
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Too much with me explaining?
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Want me to explain a little more?
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Yes.
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When I make people laugh, (audience laughs)
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that is like your sausage for me.
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[Marcus] Yes. [Conan] I am a sausage man,
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only I don't make sausages.
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I make people smile and laugh.
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[Marcus] Okay. [Conan] So, when I make someone
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laugh, the laughter that comes
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out of their face is a sausage.
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When people laugh, the noise they make is my sausage.
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Okay. (audience chuckles)
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Then, so that's how I fill my world with my sausages.
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You see?
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(laughs) Yes.
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Want me to explain a little more?
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(laughs) (audience roars with laughter)
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So...
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(Marcus laughs)
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We make two pieces. Grobe Bratwurst.
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[Conan] Grobe bratwurst
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And then, we make Feine Bratwurst.
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Ah!
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What is that?
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What's in there?
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What's that?
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(German language)
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Now that I've seen that, I have to go, don't I? (audience laughs)
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Okay, so want me to pour it?
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(German language)
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Okay.
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[Marcus] Okay.
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[Conan] Sausage goes in there.
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What are you doing?
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What's happening?
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To cut.
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[Conan] Oh my god!
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You're insane!
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When the TV not going on for you,
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you can come here and work.
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(audience laughs)
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When I'm no longer on TV, I can come work for you?
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Will you be a good boss, are you a fun boss?
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(audience laughs) I am a good boss?
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(audience claps)
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Yeah.
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What happens if they had said no?
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(audience laughs)
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So. Like Hans, right?
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Remember Hans guys?
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He got outta line!
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Hans
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(Conan yells)
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Ah!
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[Marcus] Okay.
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(audience laughs)
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Oh, uh...
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You can eat.
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It's very good.
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It's raw.
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Ya. Yes.
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Why don't you go first?
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Mmmm. (audience laughs)
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(audience laughs) Mmmm. Oh, good.
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Okay.
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(audience laughs loudly) Okay.
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Now that can happen.
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I'm now spreading the pig's intestines
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over this tube.
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Come on. (German language) [Conan] What?
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Don't yell at me!
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(yells)
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I feel like I'm jerking off a robot.
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(audience laughs)
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Ah good.
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Ah!
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This is a big sausage!
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[Marcus] Bratwurst.
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[Conan] Ah!
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It's a typical German sausage.
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Oh, very good.
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You think maybe you'd let me run the shop one day?
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Can I ever be the boss of the shop?
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(Marcus chuckles)