B1 Intermediate US 981 Folder Collection
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When you're in Germany, you eat sausage.
That's pretty much what they have.
They have a lot of sausage here.
I had sausage for breakfast, you have sausage for lunch,
you have sausage for dinner.
I went to a bar, they put sausage in a glass,
and you drink it. (audience chuckles)
It's crazy.
See that little girl over there?
That's a sausage lollipop
she's eating right now. (audience laughs)
I'm gonna go inside, find out how it all happens.
This is, your name, sir?
Marcus?
Benser.
You make sausage.
(German language), I'm the Master, (German language).
You're the master- Yes.
of making sausage.
(German language)
Well, you have a high opinion of yourself, do you?
(audience laughs)
Tell me what's going on here.
Grobe mettwurst.
[Conan] Okay.
Zwiebelmettwurst.
[Conan] Right.
Bau nel berwurst.
Nein, Bauern-leber-wurst.
Baueren-leber-wurst.
(German language)
Ah, my tongue won't do the language right.
I'm worried that if I use my tongue around you,
you might snatch it and make it into a sausage.
I got my eye on this guy.
(Marcus laughs)
What is that? That looks-
(German language)
Uh, I have to tell you, that looks awful.
It just looks like someone was in a horrible accident!
Agh!
(German language).
Eat!
[Conan] Can I,
[Conan] Oh, I take it off?
[Marcus] Yes.
What's inside? Please tell me.
First, you eat, then I say.
No!
(laughs)
(German language), here!
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
[Conan] And what's that over there?
This is salami.
Salami!
Salami.
Great.
We're gonna make some sausage.
(German language) (audience laughs)
come on.
I don't want to go in here with him.
(audience laughs)
If I'm never heard from again,
Find me.
Avenge me.
Ah! You again.
In a way, I am a sausage maker.
My show and the people laughing are sausages.
When people laugh, that's a sausage.
That's my sausage,
people laughing. (audience laughs)
You make your sausages, which are made of pieces of animal,
and I make my sausages, which is the smiles.
You understand?
[Marcus] Yes. [Conan] Is that clear?
This is a sausage that I made,
what I'm doing today.
Not actually making sausage, but making people laugh.
That's my sausage.
Okay.
Did I over-explain it?
Too much?
Too much with me explaining?
Want me to explain a little more?
Yes.
When I make people laugh, (audience laughs)
that is like your sausage for me.
[Marcus] Yes. [Conan] I am a sausage man,
only I don't make sausages.
I make people smile and laugh.
[Marcus] Okay. [Conan] So, when I make someone
laugh, the laughter that comes
out of their face is a sausage.
When people laugh, the noise they make is my sausage.
Okay. (audience chuckles)
Then, so that's how I fill my world with my sausages.
You see?
(laughs) Yes.
Want me to explain a little more?
(laughs) (audience roars with laughter)



So...
(Marcus laughs)

We make two pieces. Grobe Bratwurst.
[Conan] Grobe bratwurst
And then, we make Feine Bratwurst.
Ah!
What is that?
What's in there?
What's that?
(German language)
Now that I've seen that, I have to go, don't I? (audience laughs)
Okay, so want me to pour it?
(German language)
Okay.
[Marcus] Okay.
[Conan] Sausage goes in there.
What are you doing?
What's happening?
To cut.
[Conan] Oh my god!
You're insane!
When the TV not going on for you,
you can come here and work.
(audience laughs)
When I'm no longer on TV, I can come work for you?
Will you be a good boss, are you a fun boss?
(audience laughs) I am a good boss?
(audience claps)
Yeah.
What happens if they had said no?
(audience laughs)
So. Like Hans, right?
Remember Hans guys?
He got outta line!
Hans
(Conan yells)
Ah!
[Marcus] Okay.
(audience laughs)
Oh, uh...
You can eat.
It's very good.
It's raw.
Ya. Yes.
Why don't you go first?
Mmmm. (audience laughs)
(audience laughs) Mmmm. Oh, good.
Okay.
(audience laughs loudly) Okay.
Now that can happen.
I'm now spreading the pig's intestines
over this tube.
Come on. (German language) [Conan] What?
Don't yell at me!
(yells)
I feel like I'm jerking off a robot.
(audience laughs)
Ah good.
Ah!
This is a big sausage!
[Marcus] Bratwurst.
[Conan] Ah!
It's a typical German sausage.
Oh, very good.
You think maybe you'd let me run the shop one day?
Can I ever be the boss of the shop?
(Marcus chuckles)
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Conan Trains To Become A Sausage Master - CONAN on TBS

981 Folder Collection
gl880809 published on April 23, 2017
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