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  • Hey, everyone!

  • So, I wanted to announce the MacAir winner, first of all.

  • Congratulations!

  • If this isn't you, don't worry, I'll be giving another MacAir and announcing the winner on September 13th.

  • Now, I have been a serial monogamist since I was 15.

  • Right? I'm all about that long term relationship.

  • And I've said this a million times but I wanted to say it again, I don't believe in playing games when it comes to dating.

  • Okay, so if you want him to like you, you have to be 6 feet away from him at all times.

  • If he texts you, calculating the amount of time between all of his texts on average, and then add 2, divided by 14, plus 3,

  • that's how much time you have to wait before actually hitting him.

  • And when the sun is equidistant from the equator on the line of Polaris, make sure that you absolutely wear short shorts.

  • Personally, I like to be as direct as possible.

  • I like you!

  • And not everybody likes that, and that's fine!

  • You can just move on.

  • Trust me.

  • Somebody who only wants you because they can't have you is always going to be looking for the next best thing.

  • Babe, you've been on your phone this entire dinner, what are you doing?

  • Playing a game.

  • Babe, can you not play games while we're on a date?

  • Just give me like 2 more minutes.

  • Yeah.

  • Plus, playing hard to get always feels like you're something to be gotten, right?

  • Like you're something to be shopped for.

  • We have an array of girlfriend models available, this is our best-seller, called "the Parents' Pleaser".

  • Made of organic wifey material and comes with the most upgraded cooking software.

  • If you're looking for something a little bit more on the wild side,

  • she has 2,500 spontaneous evenings downloaded into her as well as potentially dangerous advantures.

  • And a pension for aggressive bed play.

  • What about that one?

  • Ah, apology, sir, that one is unfortunately sold out.

  • Well, can't I just take the display model?

  • Well, I suppose you could, would you like to know what she comes with?

  • No, I don't care.

  • Take my money.

  • Dating is hard enough as it is.

  • You're two people who come with your own set of baggage, trying to come together in this lasting emotionally supportive relationship

  • where you still maintain a physical attraction and regular intercourse with each other.

  • Like, why would you add to that already complicated system by faking your feelings up front?

  • I'd like to take you to dinner on either the 8th or the 9th at 7pm.

  • Hmm, I've got classes those evenings.

  • How would Thursday the 11th work for you?

  • Brunch? Followed by the museum of modern arts.

  • Done and done.

  • I love a man who can keep up a schedule.

  • I love a woman who can plan.

  • Pencil me in.

  • I write in pen.

  • It worked with my boyfriend.

  • I mean I met him through mutual friends and I thought he was very cute.

  • And so... you guys remember that Facebook feature where you had to "ask" a person's relationship status?

  • I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who's ever used that freakin' button.

  • But I asked it, he was single.

  • And I said, "Hey! You're Cute! I'd like to take you out to dinner. And it's my birthday so you can't say no."

  • And he didn't say no.

  • And that was two years ago.

  • So, I encourage you, just for the realm of possible love in your life to just throw away the games and give your heart.

  • I'm Anna Akana, stay awesome Gothem.

Hey, everyone!

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Why girls shouldn't play hard to get

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    Sabrina Hsu posted on 2022/05/20
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