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  • Hello!

  • Again. Everybody once more.

  • It is time to get into this adventure that we call:

  • "Try Not to Laugh"

  • And when we don't laugh, we're never gonna laugh again

  • because laughing is the only thing that brings us joy in life

  • and we wanna make sure that there is no joy.

  • There is no happiness.

  • There is nothing waiting for us in the darkness!

  • That's sad, okay. Let me try it a little less depressing now.

  • Hi guys!

  • My name is Markiplier! Ready to not laugh? Me too!

  • 'Cause my life is a vacuum of... despair

  • Okay, alright, went sad again.

  • So the point of this video-

  • is NOT to be SAD.

  • It's to not laugh.

  • ALRIGHT, whatever, enough bullshit

  • I don't know, it's good enough, let's go for this.

  • C'mon, whaddya got for me!

  • bilm bla bilm bla bilm bla bilm

  • KABOOM

  • bilm bla bilm bla bilm bla bilm

  • KABOOM

  • *Inhales* *tries to contain his laughter*

  • *Short, quiet snort*

  • *Sniffs*

  • mmm-MMM

  • Mmm-mmmm-MMMM!

  • *Humming grows deeper and more frustrated*

  • *Dory snoring in video*

  • Marlin: Dory says a lot of things in her sleep, okay?

  • Dory voiceover: I put a hoel bag of jellybens up mi a$$.(back that a$$ up anybody?)

  • *Snorting*

  • Nah, not funny.

  • Mark: Wha-what is this the HD version of this?

  • bilm bla bilm bla bilm bla bilm

  • bilililbiblilbilbilbilbiblibliblibli *Mark snorts*

  • hm bla.

  • bilililbiblilbilbilbilbiblibliblibli

  • *heavy breathing*

  • *loud exhale*

  • Ah, I wasn't laughing I was just breathing very rapidly

  • just like that thing was.

  • ooooUHHHHHHH

  • I'm barely through this.

  • *Singing fish playing 'Do Wah Diddy Diddy'*

  • Mark: I think I've seen this one before.

  • *sound gets more and more distorted, then briefly returns to normal sound*

  • *audio distorts again*

  • *Song continues to go in-and-out of quality*

  • Mark *squeaking*: But I've seen this before!

  • *Song is completely distorted*

  • *song goes back to normal*

  • Agh, I've seen that before, so it doesn't count!

  • 'Cause I've seen it before!

  • That's how this works, right?

  • *Loud crash of thunder in video*

  • (With heavy Scottish accent) "Oh my Jesus come back here"

  • "Oh my god, baby, the bloody lightning bolt just missed you!"

  • "Holy bloody mother of god, Jesus, fucking, my god, baby!"

  • "Come back, the lightning bolt nearly hit you!"

  • "Oh my god, baby, are you all right?"

  • *Mark snorts*

  • * Pain*

  • *SNIFF*

  • *Groaning*

  • What dialect is that?

  • *Video of man with heavy accent plays again*

  • *high pitched* What fucking dialect is that?

  • *Video starts. Slurping noises*

  • Robbie Rotten: What do I owe you?

  • Cashier (also Robbie Rotten): Nothing, it's for free!

  • Robbie: *gasp* FREE?!

  • wtf is my life.................

  • WTFISMYLIFE.....

  • *Mark loudly clears throat* Mm, nope, not funny.

  • Nah, not funny! *Yammering senselessly*

  • Y'DONE? oh, you got more to ya, oh.

  • Is this going to go on for a while?

  • WTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFFFISMYLIFE...!

  • Alright okay, y-

  • FFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?????????

  • *Mark snorts and begins to giggle*

  • Ah - you got me, you got me. You caught me off guard with that one.

  • I like sticks.

  • Mark: Oh no.

  • *peck peck*

  • *Mark snorts*

  • Lemme smash

  • *another snort*

  • Please

  • No, Ron.

  • Go find Becky

  • You want

  • sum fuk?

  • No, Ron. I don't want some fuk.

  • I got you blue.

  • Hey gurl.

  • You want sum tail?

  • Ugh...

  • Ron. Your tail is small.

  • Wot?

  • Swiggity swooty?

  • You want yellow?

  • She doesn't want yellow...

  • Blue AND yellow?

  • No.

  • Ron? I'm leaving

  • Wot?

  • NO! WAIT! LEMME SMASH!

  • What has my life come to?

  • Becky thought my tail was big.

  • Becky used to lemme smash

  • But becky is smashin Ben.

  • Ben is a hoe.

  • I'll get that bitch a stick

  • Bitches love sticks.

  • Wrong stick

  • stick

  • Stick

  • STICK

  • StiCk

  • sTiCk

  • STicK

  • Stik

  • StIK

  • StICK

  • sTICK

  • NeeD StIcK

  • gOT StiCK

  • BeCKy! I gOt StiCk!

  • LeMmE SmASh

  • *sniff*

  • *Mark laughs continuously*

  • *deep sniff*

  • *More laughter*

  • *Deep sniff*

  • *Groaning* "Huhhhhhh"

  • I've seen memes of that. I've never seen -

  • I didn't think it was a video.

  • *Cover of "Take On Me" by A-ha sung by Danny Avidan plays*

  • Mark: ohh..

  • Mark: wha? oh no..

  • Mark: Source Filmmaker thing.

  • woa what the arms are doing is beyond me (P.S:KIDS THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T PLAY DARK SOULS!)

  • We're talking away

  • ♪I don't know what

  • ♪I'm to say, I'll say it anyway

  • Today's another day to find you

  • Shying away

  • ♪I'll be coming for your love, okay?♪

  • Take on me, (take on me)♪

  • Take me on, (take on me)♪

  • ♪I'll be gone

  • In a day or two

  • *sniff*

  • Ahhh, nope.

  • *Strained* Nah.

  • *Strained* Didn't laugh.

  • Robot: John Madden!

  • John Madden!

  • John Madden!

  • Football!

  • Denmark!

  • Mark! Mark! Mark!

  • UUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  • aeiou!

  • aeiou!

  • aeiou!

  • aeiou!

  • aeiou!

  • aeiou!

  • Snake!

  • Snake!

  • snawkeyyy

  • nine, seven, two!

  • nine, eight, five!

  • Big Amerrikan T.T.S.!

  • *distorted* seven, three, three, five, fi-!

  • UUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • (inaudible)

  • eight hundred and ninety!

  • Chinese: Some of these are not bad

  • Chinese: This ball's direction is.....(Some good place)!!!

  • *bursts into laughter*

  • (Repeats)

  • *Gasps*

  • Ah! *More laughter*

  • *Gasping*

  • *Choking laughter*

  • *Giggling*

  • *Laughter*

  • *Carmen Habanera instrumental plays*

  • *Mark laughs*

  • *Habanera continues*

  • *Mark giggling*

  • *Music continues*

  • *Mark laughs again*

  • *Continued music*

  • *Mark laughs*

  • *Continued music*

  • *Mark laughs*

  • *Continued music*

  • *Mark laughs*

  • *Continued music*

  • Mark: Ohh, I don't know if this is funny to you,

  • but it's funny to me 'cause Chica's the same way!

  • Get iiiit! Get it!

  • *more giggles*

  • *RANDOM SEAL NOISES*

  • *Mark laughs*

  • *Continued laughter*

  • *MORE RANDOM SEAL NOISES*

  • Mark: "breh"...?

  • *Mark laughs*

  • *hardcore guitar*

  • FUCK

  • *hardcore guitar continues*

  • *Bicycle horn*

  • *Mark laughs as hardcore guitar continues*

  • *chair squeak*

  • *Mark continues laughing*

  • AUGHH

  • *Mark laughs loudly*

  • *car honk*

  • *Mark laughs*

  • Man in Video: DICK

  • *Continued laughter and giggling*

  • *Groaning*

  • *Giggling*

  • *Video replays*

  • AAUGGHHH

  • *still laughing*

  • *Car honk*

  • *Mark laughs*

  • DICK

  • *Continued laughter* Oh, no!

  • Augh!

  • *blubbering sounds*

  • Okay, I'm done.

  • Alright, so, I lost,

  • as usual, what else is new?

  • I think I lasted longer than last time, but honestly who cares, it's still a loss

  • But if you won at home, uh- congratulations! You didn't laugh, you did it!

  • Very proud of you! But if you laughed at home,

  • I'm so sorry you just got too much joy inside ya I guess

  • But anyway, thank ya everybody so much for watching!

  • Let me know if you enjoyed this one in the comments below, I had a lotta fun with this one

  • There was a lotta good stuff in here

  • An-I-ah if you wanna see another one of these, let me know that as well

  • I gotta dig for videos again, but...

  • Ah man, it's always worth it for those few good ones,

  • God, it's worth it, so,

  • Thanks again everybody for watching, and as always,

  • I will see YOU,

  • in the next video!

  • Buh-Bye!

Hello!

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