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  • I'm gonna show you two patterns of deception, and then we're gonna look at the hot spots and see if we can find them ourselves.

  • I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.

  • OK.

  • Studies show that people who are over determined in their denial will resort to formal rather than informal language.

  • We also heard distancing language – "That woman".

  • We think liars fidget all the time, well guess what: They're known to freeze their upper bodies when they're lying.

  • We think liars won't look you in the eyes.

  • Well guess what: they look you in the eyes a little too much.

  • We think warmth and smiles convey honesty, sincerity.

  • Can you all spot the fake smile here?

  • You can consciously contract the muscles in your cheeks but the real smile's in the eyes.

  • The crow's feet in the eyes, they cannot be consciously contracted.

  • Can you tell what's happening in a conversation?

  • Can you start to find the hot spots to see the discrepancies between someone's words and someone's actions.

  • Attitude is by far the most overlooked but one of the most telling of indicators.

  • An honest person is going to be cooperative. They're going to be on your side; they're going to be enthusiastic.

  • They're going to be willing and helpful in getting you to the truth.

  • And if you ask someone honest: "What should happen to whoever did forge those checks?"

  • An honest person is much more likely to recommend strict rather than lenient punishment.

  • Now let's say you're having that exact same conversation with someone deceptive.

  • That person may be withdrawn, look down, lower their voice, pause and then they're going to tell their story in strict chronological order.

  • And what a trained interrogator does is they come in,

  • and in very subtle ways, they will ask that person to tell their stories backwards and then track which questions produce the highest volume of deceptive tells.

  • We rehearse our words but we rarely rehearse our gestures.

  • We say yes, we shake our heads no.

  • We tell very convincing stories, we slightly shrug our shoulders.

  • Now there are going to be times when someone makes one expression while masking another that just kind of leaks through in a flash:

  • Your new joint venture partner might shake your hand, celebrate, go out to dinner with you and then leak an expression of anger.

  • There's one I can teach you that's very dangerous and easy to learn.

  • And that's the expression of contempt.

  • When anger turns to contempt, you've been dismissed.

  • It's associated with moral superiority and for that reason it's very very hard to recover from.

  • It's marked by one lip corner pulled up and in,

  • and in the presence of contempt, look the other way, go the other direction, say no thank you.

  • I'm not coming up for just one more night cap, thank you.

  • We know liars will shift their blink rate, point their feet towards an exit.

  • They'll alter their vocal tone, often making their vocal tone much lower.

  • Thank you.

I'm gonna show you two patterns of deception, and then we're gonna look at the hot spots and see if we can find them ourselves.

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B1 contempt honest person rehearse expression consciously honest

How to spot a Liar | Pamela Meyer (TED Talk Summary)

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    nakami posted on 2017/02/04
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