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  • I don't know if you remember this, but we've met before.

  • Oh, I remember. [audience laughs]

  • Do you remember this? It was really embarrassing for me.

  • [laughing] Yes.

  • [Jimmy] It was? Do you want me to tell --

  • Yeah! I have not seen you since then.

  • I have not! That is correct. - Right? No.

  • But this is years ago, and I -- do you want me to tell my version of the story?

  • Yeah, you tell your version. [laughter]

  • I'm walking down the street, in New York City,

  • - Yeah. - My friend Rick calls me and says,

  • "Dude, what are you doing?"

  • I go, "I'm just walking down the street."

  • He goes, "I have Nicole Kidman with me,

  • and she wants to meet you for, uh, maybe, to be in Bewitched or something like that"

  • so I go, "Wha-? OK."

  • And he goes, "I can be at your apartment in like ten minutes."

  • I go, "You're going to bring Nicole Kidman over to my apartment?"

  • I'm like, "OK, I don't know, what do I do? What, do I have something? What do I do?"

  • He goes, "I dunno, just get some cheese and crackers or something,"

  • and I'm like, "Cheese and crackers! I'm --" [babbling]

  • "I don't have dinner parties, I don't have anyone over to my house."

  • I'm like, "I have video games and sneakers."

  • [Nicole] That's right!

  • So I go and, I go, there's a deli, and I go in the deli.

  • I go, "What do you mean, cheese?"

  • He goes, "Get Brie or something."

  • I go, "Brie?" I didn't even know what that is, I'm like, "Uh ..."

  • So I go in this -- I'm on Saturday Night Live, I guess,

  • or something, I don't remember, really, when it was --

  • I just remember I liked you and he was like -- not now.

  • [laughter] I'm married now.

  • Um, but he was like, "Oh, well you can meet --"

  • [laughter] [band plays music]

  • - What?! - Not that way!

  • [Jimmy] Wait, wait, what's going on? Wait, what?

  • So he said -- [audience laughing]

  • So Rick, our mutual friend, says, "Oh, you know Jimmy wants to meet you,

  • and you can go over to his apartment, and dadadada ..."

  • and I'm single, and I'm like, "OK, yeah, cool!"

  • [Jimmy] Wait, what?!

  • - Yes!

  • What?!? are you talking about? - Yes!

  • Did I date Nicole Kidman? Did we go out on a date?

  • So I go over, though, and you're there in a baseball cap,

  • and like, nothing. Just like --

  • I had Brie cheese!

  • And you wouldn't talk. You didn't say anything!

  • You were like, "Hey. Mm. Mm. Mm."

  • [talking over each other about being nervous and not talking]

  • [Jimmy] I didn't know this was a thing! I thought this was a movie!

  • It was like a hang, it was meant to just, I dunno.

  • And then you put a video game on or something --

  • [laughter]

  • and I'm like, "This is so bad."

  • [laughter, applause]

  • It was bad.

  • [foghorn sound]

  • I swear, and you didn't talk at all!

  • And so after about an hour and a half I thought,

  • "He has no interest. This is so embarrassing."

  • I had no clue at all!

  • [Nicole] And I left, and went, "OK, no chemistry."

  • And then I was like, "Maybe he's gay."

  • C'mon!! [band plays]

  • I'm outta here, take care.

  • [Nicole] OK, now I'm gonna do the show!

  • [cheering]

  • [Nicole] So tell me, Jimmy ...

  • [Jimmy] Well, doctor, I remember it like it was yesterday.

  • Nicole Kidman walked in my apartment --

  • [Nicole] That was our date.

  • Do you remember what the apartment looked like?

  • [Nicole] Like, not much.

  • Anyway, we weren't meant to be, right?

  • Wow, did you make a good decision.

  • You made a great, fantastic decision. - You didn't! Anyway. It was like that.

  • [Jimmy] Oh my gosh! I am in shock right now!

  • But now, so nice, we're both married with kids.

  • [Jimmy] Yeah! I can't believe I dated Nicole Kidman! This is fantastic!

  • You didn't!

  • This is unbelievable! Unbelievable.

  • It was one of the most awkward moments ever.

  • [Nicole] You're red!

  • I really am! I'm in shock! - So am I!

  • I can't believe it. Ha, you're definitely embarrassed!

  • Yeah, I mean, wow, my gosh! Are you friends with Rick any more?

  • Yes, I just saw him!

  • [Jimmy] No, we don't talk to him after that, yeah.

  • [Nicole] He's adorable!

  • You made a much better decision. Keith Urban is so much cooler than I am.

  • He's a rock star, you live in Nashville now ...

  • I do, yes.

  • He's always on tour, isn't he, constantly, like ...

  • Yes, these country guys -- yes, he's always on tour --

  • [Nicole] You're not trying to be all serious!

  • [Jimmy] No, I'm trying to be serious now. Look, here's the deal:

  • I'm not always on tour. I'm always at home.

  • [laughter]

  • Kids ... - You're working all the time!

  • Did he not just play a gig New Year's Eve, right?

  • He did, in Niagara Falls. - Yeah. Niagara Falls.

  • The Canada side or the New York side? - Um, the Canada side.

  • That's the side. - Beautiful.

  • The Canada side is like lights, and it's almost like Vegas, it's fun.

  • The New York side looks like a Lemony Snicket book cover.

  • Sad, and like, lots of trees with no leaves on it,

  • and you go, "What happened? Why is that side so much worse?"

  • Canada side, that's the place to do it. - Yeah.

  • It's amazing. Yeah, we gotta work on that side of Niagara Falls.

  • So where does he play? - I've never been to the New York side.

  • Oh, it's ... please. We'll fix it up.

  • Where does he play?

  • He played a big show there for about 60,000 people.

  • [Jimmy] Have you ever been to Niagara Falls?

  • I had before.

  • [Nicole] We can't even have a conversation.

  • [Jimmy] You're feelin' a little something, yeah.

  • You're feelin' a little chemistry?

  • A little chemistry now. But it's too late, baby!

  • Ship has sailed, OK Nicole?

  • Taken, OK? I'm taken, OK?

  • I'm just kidding, just kidding.

  • I can't believe this. What a day.

  • [Nicole] I am never coming on this show again.

  • No, come on! Come on! You've gotta ... they're feeling it!

  • This is fantastic!

  • [Nicole] I'm teasing you. [Jimmy] And we love Keith.

  • We love Keith. [Nicole] I love Keith!

  • We love Keith. He's been on the show. I know you love Keith more than I do.

  • I'm not saying I have a thing for Keith Urban.

  • I'm saying I enjoy his music, and I like him as a personality.

  • [Nicole] We're now fighting over Keith.

  • I don't have a --

  • Only one of us here is in love with Keith [Nicole] This is a disaster!

  • No, it's not a disaster. Uh, but he's always been on the show,

  • and you've never been on the show. - No.

  • Is this why? - Absolutely.

  • [Jimmy] So odd!

  • No, I just, we would watch you at home, and I'd be like, "Gosh,

  • will I ever go on that show and bring that story up? Hm, maybe not."

  • [Jimmy] And you did! [Nicole] And now I did!

  • Anyway, let's talk about Paddington. [Jimmy] This is the best day ever, man.

  • This is like a great day. Let's talk about Paddington.

  • Paddington, congrats already, it's a big hit already.

  • Internationally, right? - Yes.

  • Overseas. They released it overseas first. [giggles]

  • I remember I got Brie cheese ...

  • And corn chips!

  • Corn chips! I didn't get -- did I get corn chips?

  • Yeah! And some old Chinese food.

  • How could I buy old Chinese food? - It was in the fridge.

  • It was in the fridge. It probably was. Really there was nothing there.

  • [Nicole] See, I've got a good memory.

  • Oh my god, I remember I got saltine crackers,

  • and I didn't have ... oh, it was just really awful. I didn't know.

  • And what sport do you really like? Baseball, or something ...

  • [Jimmy] What sport I was into? What hat was I wearing?

  • [Nicole] Yeah, you were wearing some baseball cap.

  • I love that you remember I was wearing a baseball hat. Cool, man.

  • [Nicole] And some sweats. [Jimmy] I was not wearing sweatpants!

  • What are you talkin' about?

  • It's like you went over to, like, Duck Dynasty guy's house, or something.

  • I was not wearing camo sweatpants. I was dressed in a ...

  • probably in a three-piece suit or something ...

  • You weren't interested, so you wore sweats and a baseball cap.

  • That's not true! I don't even know what you're talking about!

  • Now I'm like freaking out. All right.

  • I'm gonna go back to Paddington, we're gonna edit this out.

  • [Nicole] Yeah. Yeah.

  • The bear. - The bear.

  • The little adorable bear. - It's a cute bear. It's a cute movie.

  • You play the villain in the movie. - I do.

  • That's a good juicy role. - Yep.

  • [Jimmy] Did you always want to play -- what?

  • [laughter]

  • [Nicole] Can't even talk to you now!

  • [Jimmy] I mean you can't even say, you're stuttering and stuff, you're so nervous.

  • Only because you make me laugh now.

  • I make you laugh, yeah. I always made you laugh.

  • All right, so let's talk about it., my man Hugh Bonneville.

  • [Nicole] So funny. So funny. - Love him. Downton Abbey, we love him.

  • And there's a CGI bear and of course everyone knows the books.

  • But the bear does have the most beautiful eyes.

  • No, he does!

  • [Jimmy] Yeah! He does!

  • [Nicole] Why are you laughing?

  • [Jimmy] Everyone's feelin' the sexual chemistry here,

  • and it's awkward, and it's just odd.

  • [band plays]

  • Wanna play Mario Brothers?

  • I'll show you my new Nintendo. That's pretty cool.

  • I can't believe that's real, that story.

I don't know if you remember this, but we've met before.

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