Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • You're a girl.

  • Is this some sort of trick question

  • that ends with you yelling at me about

  • the gender binary?

  • Not this time.

  • Oh! Well then I am a girl;

  • trying to become a woman.

  • And you're straight.

  • We've been through this!

  • I tried to fantasize about you in that way

  • and it just didn't work for me.

  • I've been texting.

  • No. If that is straight-girl tease Megan

  • you need to put a dollar in this jar.

  • (People Gaby shouldn't text)

  • It is straight-girl tease Megan,

  • but she initiated Allison! She wanted to

  • tell me that I would look good in KStew's

  • haircut, ok? Why would she be texting me

  • about a lesbian goddess sent from gay

  • heaven to terrorize men's hearts

  • and put fire in women's loins if she

  • wasn't gay!?

  • I don't really understand why everyone is

  • so obsessed with Kristen Stewart,

  • I mean I like her-

  • This is proof Megan is gay!

  • YOU THINK EVERYBODY IS GAY!

  • You have an entire powerpoint presentation

  • about why George Clooney is bisexual!

  • That man loves the Italian Riviera more

  • than any straight guy could.

  • (Noises of forfeit)

  • Thank you.

  • Tim. Last night. I deleted his number again.

  • (Sighs) This girl has been teasing you for

  • months. I can't tell if she's nice let

  • alone gay. She's into me okay?

  • Women are just more subtle.

  • Yeah, you're extremely subtle Gaby.

  • Not me! Other women.

  • Look, look, look,

  • I asked her if she wanted to come

  • bra shopping with us and she said she had

  • enough "tools of the patriarchy."

  • That just means she majored in something

  • that doesn't make any money. Not that

  • she's into women.

  • She asked if I'd seen the new Tegan and Sara.

  • Oh I love Tegan and Sara, and I also can't

  • look at my own vagina without squealing.

  • But Megan has three cats and she's

  • constantly posting them on Instagram!

  • Gaby, aren't you the one who rails

  • against stereotypes? How can you possibly

  • assume this woman is queer based on such

  • shallow aspects of her personality?

  • You should only be concerned with who she

  • really is as a person instead of trying

  • to uncover the mystery of her sexuality,

  • which isn't your business

  • in the first place!

  • Wow. You're right. I'm gonna ask her to

  • dinner and get to know her as a person.

  • You've out-Gabyed the Gaby.

  • My thoughts are no longer my own.

  • Ooo! She wants to get tacos.

  • You guys are DEFINITELY gonna fuck.

  • Because tacos means vagina.

  • Ok.

  • That's the correct-that's the lingo.

  • Subtitles by the Amara.org community

You're a girl.

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it