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  • I think that everyone at some point in their life should work in a fast-food or retail job.

  • Not to improve their work ethic or anything,

  • but so that everyone knows what it's like to have that kind of job.

  • They wouldn't work in fast-food their whole lives,

  • maybe just like, for six months.

  • Just so they get a feel for it.

  • So with that, let's talk about the time when I worked in fast food.

  • I used to work at a very small, local, sandwich shop.

  • I don't know if any of you guys heard of it, it's called SOOUBWAY?

  • Our spokesperson was in the news recently.

  • I don't know if you guys look at the news.

  • Did you hear he got beat up in jail?

  • I kinda want to meet the person who beat up Jared, more than Jared.

  • Not in person, we wouldn't meet in person, obviously.

  • But like, he would be behind bars,

  • and I would just look at the guy who beat up my spokesperson.

  • How many people get to say that they beat up a fast-food icon, who was also a pedophile?

  • Only one, and it's that guy.

  • Okay but seriously guys,

  • working at Subway was probably one of the most easiest jobs out there.

  • I don't know what I'm about to complain about it to you guys.

  • We got free cookies!

  • And you know the comic with the Subway's in Hell?

  • I was actually working at Subway when I made that comic.

  • I just think it had sort of a little bit of value to it.

  • You see, the owners, who were husband and wife...

  • Can you believe it?

  • ...of the Subway I worked at, owned two stores.

  • One of the Subway stores was in a Walmart, on an Indian Reservation,

  • 'cause we have those in Arizona,

  • and the other Subway...

  • ...was the Subway I worked at.

  • And since the Walmart store was always busy, the owners would spend 99% of their time at that store.

  • So I didn't really have a boss, most of the time.

  • On the off-chance the owners did show up,

  • they would just pick up some food and then they would make sure I was making sandwiches the right way.

  • And every time I made a sandwich in front of them, they would always find something wrong with it, without fail.

  • FEMALE OWNER: You put on too many olives.

  • Do you know, according to the Subway formula,

  • you're only supposed to put on 8 olives on a foot long?

  • EIGHT!

  • One for every other bite.

  • That's just ridiculous! Can you imagine someone just counting out 8 olives?

  • Nobody does that!

  • I usually worked the closing shift,

  • and at the end of the night, we would turn the alarm and we would have 60 seconds to get out of the store.

  • But one time, I had the opening shift.

  • So I unlocked the door to get in with my key, and the alarm went,

  • *Beep*

  • *Beep*

  • meaning I had 60 seconds to turn it off.

  • No big deal, right?

  • I turned the alarm on all the time when I was closing.

  • So I go to the little control panel, and I type in the code,

  • and nothing happens.

  • The beeping is still there and the clock is still ticking down.

  • So I go, "Okay, I'm going to press each button very carefully.

  • I'm going to make sure each button makes a beep when I press it."

  • *Beep*

  • *Beep*

  • *Long Beep*

  • Nothing still happens.

  • So I go, "OKAY! I'm going to make sure to press each button, VERY CAREFULLY!"

  • And I start thinking, did they change the pass code without telling me?

  • Was the only pass code I know, so we're just gonna try it again.

  • And I press each button, very carefully.

  • *Beep*

  • *Beep*

  • *Long Beep*

  • And it goes quiet...

  • (Alarm Sound) AND THEN THE ALARM GOES OFF!

  • I still had, like, 20 seconds left,

  • but I guess when you get it wrong 3 times, it automatically assumes that you're a burglar.

  • (Alarm Sound) So while the alarm is going off,

  • I look on the contact sheet for the owner's cell phone number,

  • I step outside, I call him, and he doesn't pick up.

  • (Alarm Sound) So I go back inside, find the number for the other Subway store,

  • they open an hour before we do,

  • Someone picks up with their stupid voice,

  • "Oh, thank you for calling Subway, I'm...

  • (Gibberish)

  • ...how may I help you?"

  • And I go, "Hey, is Mike there?"

  • That's not his real name guys, don't worry.

  • And they go, "Um, just a minute."

  • Yeah, sure, I have all the time in the world. The cops might be on their way, but take your time.

  • So, Mike picks up.

  • MIKE: Hello?

  • JAMES: Hey Mike, this is James. Uh, what's the pass code for the alarm?

  • MIKE: Who is this?

  • JAMES: It's James. What's the passcode?

  • MIKE: What are you doing there James?

  • JAMES: WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING THE QUESTION?

  • I have the opening shift.

  • MIKE: Is the alarm going off?

  • JAMES: (Alarm Sound) Yeah. No one told me the new code.

  • MIKE: Yeah, we changed it. It's the last 4 digits of your social security number.

  • JAMES: Oh, oh, okay. Thanks Mike.

  • I DON'T KNOW MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!

  • So I finally get the alarm off,

  • no one showed up, thankfully.

  • Which, I actually don't know if that's a good thing or not,

  • now that I say it out loud.

  • We did have a store manager who would, like, make the schedule and sometimes tell us,

  • "Hey, can you guys do a better job at...

  • your job?"

  • But other than that, she was cool!

  • She watches my videos and so do her little brothers,

  • They're big fans. Shout out to Ivan and Andy.

  • Those are the brothers.

  • So get this, at Subway, you only work with one other person.

  • Just you and them in an empty Subway for 5 hours.

  • I mean we weren't, like, empty all the time. Okay?

  • And when you're not making sandwiches, you have other stuff to do like,

  • stocking the chips or...

  • ...we had stuff to do.

  • But okay, we did watch a lot of Netflix and do homework, so I mean...

  • (Gibberish)

  • That other person you worked with, would make or break your entire shift.

  • It wasn't the annoying customers. I kinda got used to annoying customers.

  • So I worked with a lot of crappy people.

  • And I also worked with a lot of people who I would probably never become friends with

  • except in a work setting.

  • You see, you got to understand the type of people who got jobs at Subway.

  • Potheads.

  • Most of them were potheads.

  • AND SOME OF THEM WERE REALLY COOL!

  • I'm just gonna go over a couple of the characters that I worked with.

  • There was Tyler, I freakin love this guy. He smoked a lot of weed.

  • He actually told me what vaping was, and he got me into Clash of Clans.

  • I actually mentioned him and his girlfriend in my riddles video.

  • I don't know if I ever told him that.

  • And of course I have to mention Corey, he was cool.

  • We watched "How To Get Away With Murderer" on Netflix,

  • and I've also hung outside with him outside of work.

  • What him and Tyler had in common is that they would actually do their job,

  • Which you got to appreciate.

  • Then there was this guy.

  • And get this,

  • who was also named Jared. And he was fat!

  • I KNOW, RIGHT?

  • He's like... Jared, but before!

  • He loved Marvel and that's, like, the only thing he would talk about.

  • I can say these things. He dosen't watch my videos.

  • There's Sarah. She was cool. She made me a bread bowl,

  • and her boyfriend, Jay.

  • He talked about chacras and...

  • ...third eyes, he was...

  • interesting.

  • And also, there's Anthony. He's cool.

  • What's up Anthony!

  • For the Hundred & Thousand sprinkles video,

  • I actually went back to Subway to use their scale because I knew they had one,

  • and we counted 500 sprinkles again just to be more accurate for the Hundred & Thousand,

  • and Anthony helped me count.

  • Instead of working.

  • I mean, at least he got paid...

  • ...minimum wage for it.

  • So 2 more stories, before I go.

  • One time...

  • Jared asked to take out this pile of trash,

  • and I was like, "Oh, okay, I'll just put this pile of trash in the dumpster."

  • And as I was taking it out, I saw that there was a chip poster in the pile.

  • And I thought, "This is too cool to throw away. I'm going to keep it."

  • So I took it home with me, and then the next day, when I went in,

  • people were saying, "Oh, where's the chip poster?

  • We can't find the chip poster! We ha-

  • We haven't seen it anywhere!"

  • And I'm thinking,

  • (Whispers) "I have the poster."

  • I decide not to tell anyone that I had the poster,

  • and it's still hanging up in my room.

  • (Whispers) Sorry boss if you're finding out about this now.

  • Okay, then the other story,

  • I was working with the manager and we were just making sandwiches like usual,

  • and I noticed that when we toasted a sandwich, it would burn the paper a little on the edges.

  • "That probably shouldn't be happening."

  • So then a customer asks for just bacon toasted.

  • And the boss lady put some bacon on paper, and then puts it in the toaster.

  • And we don't have a setting for just bacon.

  • So then when she opens the toaster,

  • There was a fire, on the bacon!

  • So then she starts to wack it with the little, metal, tray thing,

  • but all she ended up doing was fanning the flames, making the fire bigger.

  • *Fire Sound*

  • "Uh, you got this, right?"

  • Then I went in the back and I got the fire extinguisher and I actually used it!

  • I single-handedly saved that Subway!

  • Wait.

  • What have I done?

  • BOSS LADY: Is it okay if the bacon's a little crispy?

  • And has nitrogen and carbon dioxide stuff on it?

  • Wow, I didn't even mention a single bad customer experience.

  • Well, I don't want the video to be too long

  • I should make a part 2.

  • I'm gonna make a part 2 and it's just gonna be stories about annoying customers that I had to deal with.

  • And if anyone I used to work with is watching, and I didn't mention you,

  • It's because I hate you.

I think that everyone at some point in their life should work in a fast-food or retail job.

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Work Stories (subway)

  • 32122 2198
    Martin posted on 2016/11/20
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