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  • All you adults always tell us the same thing

  • Weed's gonna kill us, it's a gateway drug.

  • Lying isn't funny.

  • Oh, no, for most people, weed is essentially harmless.

  • Whoa-kay, no way, Jose.

  • Look, I know this stuff

  • is a little overboard, but...

  • you can't tell kids weed isn't bad!

  • Of course I can. It's true.

  • And we've known it for decades.

  • Counting deaths from the substance alone,

  • alcohol kills 88,000 people a year.

  • Tobacco kills 480,000.

  • And marijuana kills absolutely no one.

  • (buzzer)

  • Uh, according to curriculum,

  • marijuana can get you hooked on harder substances.

  • It's a gateway drug.

  • Yeah, educators have been saying that for years,

  • but it's not true.

  • Most people who try marijuana

  • don't even continue smoking marijuana.

  • This dude knows what's up.

  • Now, that doesn't mean that it's perfectly safe.

  • Dude, I thought you were cool.

  • Oh, I wish! If you're under 25,

  • smoking weed can lead to memory problems

  • and poor cognitive functioning.

  • But if you're an adult,

  • and your brain has finished developing,

  • it's really your choice.

  • Adam, wrong way. Also, not in a school.

  • Sorry, I usually only smoke at parties,

  • and I'm rarely invited to them.

  • Yeah, wonder why.

  • The truth is, if you know the risks

  • and you use it in moderation, weed is no big deal.

  • And, in fact, humans have been using it for millennia.

  • Humans started growing cannabis as a crop over 8,000 years ago.

  • This crop will feed our family for a year,

  • and this crop will make movies way funnier.

  • (Adam) In 440 BCE, Herodotus wrote about

  • the ancient tradition of cannabis steam baths.

  • Fellow citizens, as a wise man

  • once told me, VapeLife! (laughing)

  • And in America, for many years marijuana was available in over-the-counter medications.

  • Step right up and try Professor Horkorium's Rejuvenating Tincture!

  • Now with the Arab hashish.

  • For most of America's history,

  • weed was legal, no one cared about it.

All you adults always tell us the same thing

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