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  • Hello, hello mamis* (chicks) How's you doing? How's you doing? I gonna be your substitute teacher

  • How's you doing?

  • My name is Maria Linda Rosas Rodriguez de Segrita

  • de Seguan, bam bam la bam, gracias* (thanks) I love much a you* (I love you to much)

  • Where is Ms. Marie Helen?

  • Oh sweetie, She is in my school, PS2, 24

  • a part of the teacher´s exchange program

  • She is over there right now

  • Let's pray for her, oh los dios mio! (oh my god) She's gonna get killed

  • Ok, far away your books

  • -Far away your books sweeties -Tea..teacher..this is algebra class

  • Attention mamis (chicks), I'm here for sex educacion* (education)...ok?

  • Lesson numero uno* (number one)

  • Don't be a slut, wash your butt!

  • Listen mamis *(chicks)

  • Women have a lot more crevices than guys do

  • a lot of dark and mysterious places for the funk to be hiding

  • Honey, we'll hide on you

  • seek it out, deodorize, perfumerize* (perfumerize), sanitize!

  • Ok, we well

  • Lesson numero two-no* (number two)

  • There is no excuse to be loose!

  • A cup, B cup, C cup, whetever strap them things down, mamis

  • Wait a minute, wait a minute! Why you not wearing a bra?

  • -I don´t need to wear a bra -Ooooh!

  • wait a minute, wait a... listen miss tatas

  • nobody wants to see you stuff hanging all the time

  • honey, if you don't be putting a bra

  • one day they gonna hang down like suspenders, that is just nasty!

  • Ok, escuchen (listen)

  • Ok, um... Mrs... whatever

  • um.. this is all really informative

  • but how are we going to learn our stuff for algebra test?

  • Escuchen mamis (listen chiks)

  • the only test you gonna worry about passing is the pregnancy test

  • because if you get an F, that stands for "Fertilized"

  • -y* (and) the stick turns blue mamis (chicks) -(yuck) -Okay, okay

  • Now, I wanna give you an analogy. Who can explain what an analogy is?

  • An analogy is a correspondence in some respects between things that are otherwise dissimilar

  • Muy bueno* (very good) R2-D2, but not

  • An analogy is that you used to explain when something sounds like another something

  • -verdad?* (isn´t?) -No

  • It's simula but it ain't da same

  • Estúpida!* (Stupid)

  • lesson numero tres* (number three)

  • get this down honeys

  • Kissing leads to humping, just like farting leads to pooping!

  • I do not think my mother will approve of you, Miss Teacher Farty Poopy

  • Kind of, kind of a bad teacher

  • I'm not learning anything

  • Listen... ok fine... ok fine, I try to teach you something

  • but if you wanna go and be a hoe, just go

  • Sit your butt down, mami!

  • Oooh~ dang! She called you a hoe!

  • Listen to me, listen! I'm trying to save your lives over here

  • There are men out there that want your stuff, this is good stuff you gotta protect it!

  • Listen mamis, they fighting wars for your stuff

  • you got... is getting worst

  • They'll be putting testosterone in the water, mamis

  • Listen, if you gonna be humping, at least put on something!

  • This is against god!

  • Listen mami, don't be afraid of this, this is profilactico* (prophylactic)

  • I know

  • Don't be listening to all guys talk about on this don't feel natural

  • You know what? Neither does this, you see this?

  • In the summertime, you'll be hot, you know what I'm saying?

  • Oh, I lost... OK, I gotta go outside and smoke a cigarette, you know what I'm saying?

  • and I come back in and we give to lesson number four

  • If you didn´t get yours, he didn't do his chores

  • Are you ready for that? Is so estupidas, is so young.

Hello, hello mamis* (chicks) How's you doing? How's you doing? I gonna be your substitute teacher

Subtitles and vocabulary

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B1 listen teacher analogy bra bam cup cup

Mad TV - Substitute teacher

  • 353 13
    Simon Chen posted on 2013/06/02
Video vocabulary