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  • If you're still struggling with consent, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you're making them a cup of tea.

  • You say "Hey, would you like a cup of tea?"

  • And they go, "Oh my god, I would LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!"

  • Then you know they want a cup of tea.

  • If you say, "Hey, would you like a cup of tea?" and they're like "Um... you know, I'm not really sure…"

  • then you can make them a cup of tea, or not, but be aware they might not drink it.

  • And if they don't drink it thenand this is the important part –  don't make them drink it.

  • Just because you made it doesn't mean you are entitled to watch them drink it.

  • And If they say, "No, thank you," then don't make them tea. At all.

  • Just don't make them tea. Don't make them drink tea, don't get annoyed at them for not wanting tea.

  • They just don't want tea, OK?

  • They might say "Yes, please, that's kind of you" and then when the tea arrives, they actually don't want the tea at all.

  • Sure, that's kind of annoying as you've gone to all the effort of making the tea, but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea.

  • They did want tea, now they don't.

  • Some people change their mind in the time that it takes to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk.

  • And it's okay for people to change their mind, and you are still not entitled to watch them drink it.

  • And If they are unconscious, don't make them tea.

  • Unconscious people don't want tea and they can't answer the question "Do you want tea?" because they're are unconscious.

  • Ok, maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted tea, and they said yes,

  • but in the time it took you to boil the kettle, brew the tea and add the milk, they are now unconscious.

  • You should just put the tea down.

  • Make sure the unconscious person is safe, and this is the important part againdon't make them drink the tea.

  • They said yes then, sure, but unconscious people don't want tea.

  • If someone said yes to tea, started drinking it, and then passed out before they'd finished it, don't keep on pouring it down their throat.

  • Take the tea away. Make sure they're safeBecause unconscious people don't want tea.

  • Trust me on this.

  • If someone said "yes" to tea around your house last Saturday, that doesn't mean that they want you to make them tea all the time.

  • They don't want you to come around at their place unexpectedly and make them tea and force them to drink it going, "BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST WEEK",

  • or to wake up to find you pouring tea down their throat going, "BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST NIGHT".

  • If you can understand how completely ludicrous it is to force people to have tea when they don't want tea and you are able to understand when people don't want tea,

  • then how hard is it to understand it when it comes to sex?

  • Whether it's tea or sex, consent is everything.

  • And on that note, I am going to make myself a cup of tea.

If you're still struggling with consent, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you're making them a cup of tea.

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