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  • - Look how it hits the thing.

  • Eww.

  • It's like, here (bleep)!

  • (laughing)

  • - Oh... please don't do that.

  • (funk music)

  • - Huge!

  • - Yah!

  • - Huge fan of Subway.

  • - It's like a good cheap go to,

  • that's not super, super unhealthy.

  • - Love me the five dollar footlong.

  • - I love bread!

  • I'm like Oprah!

  • - I like that jalapeno cheddar bread.

  • - There's something about that special bread smell

  • when you walk into a Subway,

  • and you smell that fresh bread.

  • - Subway gives you so many options.

  • - Really good.

  • - Mm hmm.

  • It tastes like pizza.

  • - It tastes just like pizza.

  • - I like it.

  • - It's not bad.

  • - I do love those peppers though.

  • It's a little dry, the chicken.

  • - This bread is really good though.

  • It's almost better than a piece of pizza.

  • - Is it tired urban cheese?

  • - I don't know.

  • - Someone had a bunch of random (bleep) in their fridge

  • and tried to make a sandwich.

  • And it's not good.

  • It just looks like a soggy (bleep) salad

  • and soggy (bleep) bread.

  • - Oh my god! I hate spicy food so much!

  • - Get her some milk!

  • - It's spicy, and it's sweet, and it's soggy.

  • It's a triple threat of badness.

  • - Maybe just get the sauce and the vegetables,

  • and leave the bread out.

  • - Make a salad?

  • - Yeah!

  • - Make it toastier!

  • - Why would you name a sandwich 'The Heart Attack'?

  • - I have high cholesterol!

  • - (yells)

  • It's tuna and bacon!

  • - Oh my god. This is really (bleep) good.

  • - It's better than the others.

  • I don't even know if that's lettuce...

  • - Girl, don't look at it.

  • - Because you know what they say?

  • Never judge a book by its cover.

  • - This (bleep) looks bomb.

  • - It looks really good.

  • - I'm all about this.

  • - Okay!

  • - This is incredible.

  • - It's so good!

  • I can't stop eating it.

  • - This is definitely not bad.

  • - (Bleep) It's actually really good.

  • - It looks really good.

  • - This is not 'Subway, Eat Fresh' though.

  • This is Subway, Eat --

  • - Fat!

  • (laughs)

  • - I'm just not smart enough when I'm drunk

  • to make these amazing combinations of foods.

  • - I think I'm just going to stick to what I know,

  • when it comes to Subway.

  • I don't need to get all secretive.

  • - You know what's in it.

  • You don't need that soggy salad.

  • - The Supreme Pizza Sub was really good.

  • - That needs to be sold as a sub,

  • if they don't already have it.

  • - That's it. I'm done.

- Look how it hits the thing.

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