We imagine that's a good strategy for getting what we want and for being happy in a couple, but that's nonsense.

Next time you feel strong enough that you can, for a moment, stop insisting you're always right, try a different tack.

Out of the blue say: "sorry I'm so anxious", "sorry I lose my temper", "sorry I don't listen enough", "sorry I'm too preoccupied", "sorry I both want you close and push you away", "sorry I'm not always balanced, sane or mature".

You think that might weaken you, make you hostage to the partner's vengeance.

It never does.

Everything always gets better from that point.

Give it a try.

"Sorry I'm so crazy."

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