Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • Anyone who lives alone and manifests no longing to be in a relationship, is in our times, almost automatically, more or less secretly, viewed as both pitiable and deeply troubled.

  • It's simply not thought possible to be at once, alone and normal.

  • This sets us up for collective catastrophe, because it means that a huge number of peoplewho have no innate wish to live with anyone else, and are at heart deeply ill-suited to doing soare every year press-ganged and shamed into conjugal life with disastrous results for all involved.

  • Only once singlehood has completely equalled prestige with its alternative, can we ensure that people will be free in their choices and hence join couples for the right reasons; because they love another person, rather than because they are terrified of remaining single.

  • Here, then, are a few of the many good reasons to spend your life alone:

  • 1. Because romantic love is a dangerous illusion.

  • We should recognize that romantic love, the idea of being deeply enamored of one special partner over a whole lifetime, is a very new, ambitious and really pretty odd concept, at best 250 years old.

  • From close-up, over long periods of time, almost everyone is condemned to be pretty dispiriting and difficult.

  • A good romantic marriage is evidently theoretically possible, but it's also extremely unlikely in practice, which should make any failure feel a good deal less shameful.

  • 2. No one thinks their partner is terrific - After a while.

  • Those among us who choose to stay single shouldn't be thought un-romantic.

  • Indeed, we may be among the very most romantic of all, because it is in the end the fervent romantics who should be especially careful of ending up in mediocre relationships: relationships best suit the kind of people who don't actually expect too much from them.

  • 3. We aren't sane enough to be in relationships.

  • Though it is a sign of some maturity to know how to love and live alongside someone, it is actually a sign of even greater maturity to recognise that this is something one isn't in the end gonna be psychologically capable of, as a good portion of us simply are not.

  • Retiring oneself voluntarily, in order to save others (and oneself) from the consequences of one's own inner emotional turmoil is the true sign of a great and kind soul.

  • 4. Being alone means not inflicting yourself on others.

  • It spares you from constant reminders of how difficult and strange you are.

  • No one is there to hold a mirror up, record your antics and constantly make you accountable for them.

  • If you're lucky, you will be able to tolerate and even like yourself if you are on your own.

  • 5. Relationships spoil love.

  • It may be better to feel alone and be denied sex outside of a relationship than inside one.

  • One thing the single are never denied, is hope.

  • All this isn't to say that being alone is without problems.

  • There are of course drawbacks to both states, being single and being in a couple.

  • Loneliness in the one; suffocation, anger, and frustration in the other.

  • The truth is, we're simply not terribly good at being happy whatever our relationship status, which is ultimately an argument for neither rushing too fast into a couple nor rushing too fast out of one.

Anyone who lives alone and manifests no longing to be in a relationship, is in our times, almost automatically, more or less secretly, viewed as both pitiable and deeply troubled.

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

B1 UK romantic single romantic love maturity deeply rushing

Reasons to Remain Single

  • 120691 6479
    VoiceTube posted on 2016/06/28
Video vocabulary