- If you aim for my face, you'll hit the apple.

- Mm-hmm.

- No, higher.

- Like that? - No.

Ian, higher.

- Okay, I can't concentrate if you keep talking.

- Well, if you hit me in the vagina again,

I'm gonna kick your ass.

- Yeah, yeah, whatever. Okay, ready?

- Yeah. - And fire!

- [exclaims]

- Aww, what?

[scoffs] - Why?

- See, this is why we test out the tee-shirt cannon

before we fire it at children.

- Okay, well...

- Come on, you stupid-- [groans]

[crash]

Oh!

- [sighs]

Lori's gonna kill us.

[paper fluttering]

- Think we could bribe her?

- [chuckles]

[playful music]

- [man singing] This is America

Land of dreams

Everyone can climb higher

- [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

- [man singing] You can do anything

- [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

- [man singing] And you can go anywhere

- [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

- [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

- [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

- [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

With full-time dreams

And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

Bad as it seems

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Whoa

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Oh

Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

- Are you out of your minds?

- Something tells me she's not gonna take the bribe.

- I'm not gonna take the money and neither are you.

It's laundered.

- [sniffs]

Doesn't smell like detergent.

- Ella, go hide the money until I can figure out

who it belongs to.

You were messing around with that damn tee-shirt cannon

again, weren't you?

- No.

There's holes.

Just falling through the ceiling.

Just get it fixed, Lori!

[snapping] Jeez!

[video games whirring and dinging]

Come on. Why can't we keep the cash?

- It's dirty money.

It could be drugs, blood diamonds,

black market stereos.

- Oh, my God. - What?

What is it?

- Dinosaur eggs.

There's whole crates of them up there.

- Those are avocados, genius.

- Oh, right.

The fruit that's made out of guacamole.

- Ian, go back up there and see if there's anything else.

I don't want to be an accessory to anything.

- But they're just avocados though.

From Florida.

- [gasps]

Taking fruit across the California border

without a permit is illegal.

And smugglers are some of the most dangerous criminals around.

- [groans]

Wait. What if something happens to me?

- Oh, don't worry. You're replaceable.

- [sighs]

- Did you put the money somewhere safe?

- Oh, yeah. No one will ever find it.

- [exclaiming]

[giggles] Oh, my God!

[laughing] Oh, my God!

Whoo!

[video games beeping]

- What do you think he's gonna find besides avocados?

- Hopefully a turkey, lettuce, a Kaiser roll,

and a side of Kettle Chips.

I'm hungry.

[phone ringing]

[sighs]

[phone beeps]

I told you not to FaceTime me.

It's gonna wipe out my data plan.

- It's an emergency.

I've been taken hostage.

- Are you okay? - No, I'm not okay!

I followed that tunnel all the way

to the back of the bowling alley next door

and there's a whole avocado operation going on--

- Move your face, kid!

We want our money.

- Yeah, and we want you to keep letting us use

Pork E. Pine's ceiling tunnel as our stash house,

or your golden boy here's not coming back.

- We know how important he is to your establishment.

He's been telling us.

- I am super important!

- Ian, don't worry, we're gonna get out out of there

no matter what.

- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's think this through.

Ian, we gonna call you back.

- But Lori-- [phone beeps]

- What are you doing?

- Look, I've seen TV.

All we got to do is keep hanging up on them.

We have the cash, so we have the upper hand.

- But they have Ian.

- But I have the knowledge of television.

[chuckles]

- Lori has secretly been refrigerating money,

so I've called all you here today to figure out--

- How to confront Lori.

- Jeez, no. No one's telling Lori.

- Yeah, what's wrong with you, man?

- Yeah, Pete. God.

- We all need to figure out how to spend this money

in the funnest way possible.

- [gasps]

all: Whoa.

- And as my brain trust, I challenge you all

to dream awesome.

Go. - Seal.

- Navy or animal? - Musician.

- Next.

- Lifetime passes to Colonial Williamsburg.

- I fell asleep in the middle of that sentence.

Next. - Let's start a bird sanctuary!

- Let's avoid anything with religion.

- Next. - Dinner with meatloaf.

- Meal or singer? - Both.

- Meatloaf with Meatloaf.

You guys, that's the idea to beat.

- Ah! Stop it.

Let me handle the criminals.

- Fine, but the next time Ian calls,

you have to pick it up.

- [sighs] Fine.

[phone rings]

Oh. [phone beeps]

Ian, got to go.

I'm holding auditions for the next Pork E. Pines.

[laughing]

- What? - I was just kidding.

We wouldn't need auditions.

Anybody can do your job.

[phone beeps] - Lori!

They're gonna kill him.

- Oh. [scoffs]

Please.

Those smugglers wouldn't last 15 minutes with that damn fool.

As long as Ian has an audience,

he's holding them hostage.

- You know, you guys are missing out

on a huge opportunity right now.

You see, um...

I'm kind of a comedian, so, uh...

ah, all right, here. I'll--

I'll just shoot some of my material.

You--you let me know if anything sticks.

This one will be right up you guys' alley.

Uh, so you guys are in the avocado business.