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  • A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along

  • the way we lost that balance. So, I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching

  • you how to talk and how to listen. I'm gonna teach you how to interview people

  • and that's actually gonna help you learn how to be better conversationalists. Number 1: Don't multitask.

  • I mean be present, don't be thinking about your argument you had with your boss,

  • don't be thinking about what you're gonna have for dinner, if you wanna get out of the conversation,

  • get out of the conversation. Number 2: Don't pontificate. If you wanted to state your opinion

  • without any opportunity for response, write a blog. You need to enter every conversation

  • assuming that you have something to learn. Bill Nye: "Everyone you will ever meet knows

  • something that you don't." Number 3: Use open ended questions. In this case, take a cue from Journalists,

  • start your questions with: Who, What, When, Where, Why, or How. If you put in a complicated question,

  • you're gonna get a simple answer out. If I ask you "Were you terrified?"

  • You're going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence which is terrified

  • and the answer is "Yes I was" or "No I wasn't". Try asking them things like "What was that like?"

  • "How did that feel?" Number 4: Go with the flow. Thoughts will come into your mind and

  • you need to let them go out of your mind. We're sitting there having a conversation with someone

  • and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop

  • and we stop listening! Stories and Ideas are gonna come to you, you need to let them come and let them go.

  • Number 5: If you don't know, say that you don't know. Now people on the radio,

  • especially on NPR are much more aware that they're going on the record, and so

  • they're more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure.

  • Do that. Err on the side of caution. Number 6: Don't equate your experience with theirs.

  • If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time

  • that you lost a family member. It's not the same, it is never the same.

  • All experiences are individual. Number 7: Try not to repeat yourself, it's condescending and

  • it's really boring. And we tend to do it a lot- We have a point to make so we just keep rephrasing

  • it over and over... Don't do that. Number 8: Stay out of the weeds.

  • Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, they don't care. Number 9: Listen.

  • And look, I know, it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone.

  • But,if you can't do that, you're not in a conversation. Stephen Covey said it very beautifully,

  • he said: "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply."

  • One more rule and, Number 10, and it's this one: Be Brief.

  • All of this boils down to the same basic concept and it is this one: be interested in other people.

  • Go out, talk to people, listen to people and most importantly be prepared to be amazed. Thanks.

A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along

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A2 US conversation listen intent terrified people claim

Celeste Headlee - 10 ways to have a better conversation (Condensed Talk)

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    陳璽珺 posted on 2016/04/24
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