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  • My dear friend Josh, you are cordially invited to the after party for Crimson Peak.

  • Since this is an exclusive and intimate affair, we do ask that you don’t bring any other guests.

  • Jessica and I look forward very much to seeing you.

  • And not murdering you in any way at all,

  • Hugs and kisses, T.

  • - Hey guys!

  • - See? I told you he’d come.

  • - Oh goodie, goodie goodie. - Am I early?

  • - Early? Youre right on time my man.

  • - This party is raging!! It is off the hook!

  • - It wasn't funny. - It wasn't funny.

  • - Hey Jess, you know, were being so rude… - Yeah

  • - Josh, would you like something to eat?

  • - We're all out of rice cakes.

  • - So rude. - It’s a work call, I am sorry guys, I didn't...

  • - Hand it over Mister Horowitz. This is a party, no work allowed you naughty little sausage.

  • - What are you

  • What the hell was that? That was a new phone!

  • - Josh! That phone had to die so our friendship can live.

  • - Yeah... okayokayokay

  • - Hey! Is it just me or is it, like, it's time to get the party started?

  • - Yes! - You know, let's partyyy!!

  • Hit it Freddy!

  • - What is happening?

  • - He’s the hottest DJ in Slovenia!

  • - Wooo! Feel this beat!

  • - I’m a cowboy! I’m a cowboy!

  • - On a steel horse you ride!

  • - Come on sista!

  • - That’s not right.

  • - Josh come here! Your turn!

  • - NO! He doesn’t like it! Freddy go!

  • - No, no, no! - We don’t need it anymore Freddy, he doesn’t like it! Why doesn’t he like It?

  • - It’s not my thing.

  • - I just wanted it to be a good party!

  • - Josh, I think your negative energy is really upsetting Tom.

  • He’s gentle. He’s a sensitive soul that guy. Why don’t you throw yourself into this?

  • - Okaylet's play a game. How about a party game?

  • - Tom! Party game!

  • - I love party games. Two truths and a lie?

  • - YES! OH MY GOD! I love that game. I love it so much! I love it!!

  • - Okay, okay, okay, here we go, here we go.

  • So I killed a homeless man, and I like eating kittens for breakfast, and I have green eyes.

  • - Everyone knows you don’t have green eyes.

  • - Baby blues!

  • - Okay, um, don’t take this the wrong way but, um, I think I’m gonna leave, because you guys have been acting really oddly and I’ve been feeling really uncomfortable, and you guys honestly are super weird.

  • Thank you for the invite but I’m gonna, I'm gonna leave.

  • - Look I’m just not good at making friends okay?!

  • - What did I say about him being sensitive, you heartless bastard?!

  • - I know I’m weird.

  • I just, I’ve never been to a party.

  • You know I had to throw a party to go to one. How sad is that?

  • At the end of Avengers when everyone was living it up and partying, Mark Ruffalo locked me in a porta-potty.

  • It was really stinky.

  • And I know I seem like a clown but... I’m just, simple old Tommy H.

  • And...I just want to go to a partythat’s all I want.

  • - Tom I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.

  • I’m awkward, were all...we're all awkward. Let’s just have a good time.

  • - Yeah? Do you really mean that?

  • Cause you know, that’s what Hemsworth said before he filled my Loki helmet with Jell-O.

  • - Josh, if you break his heart, I’m going to stick my hand down your throat, and pull your dick off from the inside.

  • - Of course I mean it Tom. We can do anything you guys want, let’s have fun!

  • - Okay, let’s dance!

  • - Everybody pair up!

  • - Who am I supposed to dance with?

  • - He’s having a really good time.

  • - He’s having a great time.

  • - Were throwing a good party!

  • - Hey guys thanks for watching this edition of After Hours, remember to subscribe, like and comment below.

  • - And well see you on the next one.

My dear friend Josh, you are cordially invited to the after party for Crimson Peak.

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