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  • Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

  • and a life that you love. It’s Q&A Tuesday, folks. This Q&A Tuesday question comes from

  • Miss Cynthia and she writes:

  • Marie, how do I deal with the guilt? Let me explain. I recently shifted my business

  • focus to an area which I have strong skills and which I greatly enjoy. During work the

  • other day I found myself very, very happy. That stopped me in my tracks and suddenly

  • I was full of guilt. Whether it came from someone in my family, my nanny, my school

  • teachers, or just being raised female in this society, I have a lot of baggage around enjoying

  • my work. If this new path works out I could conceivably not only make enough to support

  • myself but to allow my overworked, generous, and supportive spouse to shift to a less stressful

  • career too. I find myself wondering, with so many people in the world forced, many literally,

  • to do work they hate just to survive, what gives me the right to pursue work that feeds

  • me mentally and spiritually as well as financially? Please help me get to a positive perspective

  • on this so that I can move forward. Your fan, Cynthia in Virginia.”

  • Cynthia, this is a beautiful question. You have a lot of empathy, youre a very caring

  • person. That means you actually give a damn about the welfare of others. That is a beautiful

  • thing. But, and this is a big but, obviously, as you shared, this guilt thing is tripping

  • you up and if you don't get it handled it can really screw up your happiness and your

  • success. Now, I have a few ideas that can help.

  • Number one is your misery doesn't serve anyone and it certainly doesn't help those people

  • who don't have many options right now in terms of their livelihood. It’s not like you being

  • miserable at work or feeling guilty over loving your work is somehow creating more work options

  • because it’s not.

  • You need to wake up and break this association that you have with guilt and it being useful.

  • Guilt is not useful, it’s wasteful, it’s indulgent, and it does not make you a better

  • or more caring person.

  • Youre assuming that misery loves company and that may not be true. Give them some credit

  • that they don't want more people suffering alongside of them. And also give some credit

  • to the people that don't have the options that you have but they make the best of it.

  • Basically it’s time to wake up and smell the happiness coffee. In fact, you know what?

  • I’m gonna have myself a happy-chino right now. This is with almond milk, right?

  • Number two, you can’t give away what you don't have. So if you want to make a difference

  • in this world on any level you can’t give that which you don't have for yourself. And

  • when it comes to the important things like love and compassion and happiness, you have

  • to cultivate that within so then you can extend it to others.

  • Number three, happiness is not a limited resource. So unlike resources like time or water, there’s

  • no limited quantity in happiness in the world, so stop thinking that youre going to use

  • it all up. In fact, the more happy you are in your work the more it opens up that possibility

  • for others. And I like this idea so much that we are making it a Tweetable.

  • Happiness is not a limited resource, so help yourself and therell be plenty left

  • for everyone else.”

  • Number four, who is anyone to be happy? So, Cynthia, in your question you wondered out

  • loud, “What gives me the right to pursue work that feeds me mentally, spiritually,

  • and financially?” And I say what gives anyone that right? I mean, what if anyone who’s

  • ever made a significant, positive impact said that and what if we all said that? We would

  • all be like, great, let’s all be miserable at work. Yay. Thanks, Cynthia.

  • Just kidding.

  • Number five, you wanna turn your guilt into giving. So this may be the only redeeming

  • quality of guilt in this situation. So if you don't have an active practice of giving

  • back to others, whether that’s money or time or mentoring, or your community, or whatever,

  • you need to get that practice going and make it a permanent part of your life. So this

  • isn’t about relieving guilt, this is about expressing the wholeness of who you are as

  • a human being and living that fully in your life.

  • One thing that I’ve found to be true is the more you give, the more you live. That’s

  • why we have our change your life, change the world initiative.

  • Now, if this floats your boat, Cynthia, you need to come and join our Kiva lending team.

  • It’s awesome. Little link is below. This way you can make a direct impact on people’s

  • livelihoods all over the world. So, of course, I’m not attached to where or how you give,

  • but if inside you feel like youre not doing enough right now I want you to turn your guilt

  • into heartfelt giving.

  • That was my A to your Q, Cynthia. I hope it helps. Now, I would love to hear from you.

  • Have you ever had happiness guilt? Do you ever feel guilty for being happy about something

  • when you know others don't have what you have? I would love to know how you deal with it.

  • Now, as always, the best discussions happen after the episode on MarieForleo.com, so please

  • come on over there and leave a comment now.

  • Did you enjoy this video? I hope so. If you did, subscribe and, of course, share it with

  • your friends. And if you want even more resources to create a business and life that you really

  • love plus some personal insights from me that I only get to talk about in email, come on

  • over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for email updates.

  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world really does need

  • that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I hope to see

  • you next time on MarieTV.

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

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