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  • Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love.

  • And today is Q&A Tuesday, one of the best days of the week.

  • Today’s question comes from Lindsey and Lindsey writes:

  • Hey Marie. First, you rock.” No, you rock. “Second, I’m seeking some spiritual advice.

  • Lately I’ve been struggling with resentment towards a particular person.

  • I know I need to let go of it, but my gut is telling me not to trust this person because theyve burned me before.

  • I don't want this to eat me up inside because I know itll just hold me back from becoming everything I’m meant to be.

  • How do I let it go and move on when I’m so full of distrust?

  • Do you have any suggestions about how to forgive without forgetting? Thanks so much, Lindsey.”

  • Lindsey, this is a fantastic question. Forgiveness is an important topic and it’s a vital spiritual nd emotional practice.

  • You know, as Nelson Mandela once said, resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.

  • Now, I personally get my inspiration from others who demonstrate forgiveness in incredible ways.

  • So I think about that guy Louis Zamperini, the Olympic runner that turned war hero in Unbroken.

  • He forgave the prison guard who brutally tortured him for years.

  • And, of course, I also think about the families of those who were killed in the horrific shooting in Charleston who also forgave the person who murdered their loved ones.

  • That’s like forgiveness hall of fame.

  • Now, thankfully, Lindsey, I don't think your situation is quite as extreme, but still you feel hurt and you feel betrayed.

  • And youre right when you say that not forgiving someone, no matter what they did, will hold you back from being all youre meant to be.

  • Here’s the big distinction I want you to get.

  • Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you instantly or ever trust someone again. Forgiveness and trust are separate issues.

  • When you forgive someone it doesn't mean that you condone their behavior and it doesn't mean that youre gonna tolerate any further abuse or lack of respect.

  • And frankly, even if you fully forgive someone you do not have to keep that person in your life.

  • Now, Lindsey, youve already said that your gut is telling you that you can’t trust this person, and I think it’s wise to pay attention to that.

  • Now, if you do choose to keep this person in your life, theyre gonna need to rebuild that trust with you and that’s likely gonna take some time.

  • Now, more importantly though, realize that forgiveness is not something that you do for the person who wronged you. It’s something you do for you.

  • Want a little etymology? The Latin root means to give completely, without reservation.

  • So think of it this way. When you forgive, youre giving a gift to yourself. A gift of freedom, mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom.

  • And here’s 2 steps to help you do it.

  • Step number one in this process is forgive yourself, especially if youre having any thoughts like, “Oh my goodness, how could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so naïve?”

  • You've got to realize that this situation, like every situation, is an opportunity to strengthen your soul.

  • You know, every time that I’ve been burned, after I get over that initial anger and hurt I always ask myself, “What can I learn from this? And how can I grow from this?”

  • And when I ask those wise questions, what comes back are usually some really wise answers.

  • Step number two is to forgive the person.

  • Now, I know that this is easier said than done and there are many, many different approaches to forgiveness.

  • There’s a spiritual approach, there’s a faith based, there’s a psychological approach, and what I’ve seen to be the most important step in all of those approaches is willingness.

  • You being willing. That slight little shift in energy from, “Nuh uh. Can’t do it,” to, “You know what? I don't know how, but I’m willing to forgive,” can radically change everything.

  • And a simple little prayer or a mantra that you might wanna practice saying to yourself is this: “While I don't know how, I am willing to forgive. Please God, the universe, Smurf fairies, whatever language suits you, show me the way.”

  • Because that simple willingness is often all it takes to melt the walls around your heart and begin to truly forgive.

  • Now, before we wrap up there’s just one more thing that I wanna say about forgiveness and, yes, it’s a Tweetable.

  • [MARIE'S TWEETABLES | TWWET IT OUT, YO!]

  • Forgiveness isn’t a weakness. It’s the ultimate sign of courage and strength.”

  • That was my A to your Q, Lindsey, and I really do hope it helps.

  • Now I would love to hear from you. Have you ever wrestled with forgiving someone or rebuilding trust after it’s been broken?

  • In terms of forgiving and forgetting, what’s worked for you and what hasn’t?

  • Now, as always, the richest discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, and we have a lot of fun in the comments.

  • So please go over there and let me know your responses now.

  • Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to our channel and it would be great if you shared this with your friends.

  • And if you want even more great resources to create a business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only share in email, come on over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for email updates.

  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have.

  • Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love.

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How To Forgive When You Can’t Forget

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    Adam Huang posted on 2021/06/30
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