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  • Hahaha, there she is! Ready to hit the cantina?

  • No, and I really hate you texting me all those helmet pics!

  • Oh, well give me your email and I'll send you some of the hi-res versions

  • Dude, I don't want your dirty email.

  • No, no, you'll like these. They're real arty

  • The better Jedi would not send selfies.

  • Bope, beep, bipp, boop, bope

  • Go show her my trophies!

  • All right man, you and me gonna talk

  • Is this something that we have to do

  • or is it more of an optional thing?

  • If you look at a dead spider, what'll happen?

  • Oh, amazing things happen! You should go find one right now

  • Can you spit in my tea?

  • Well since I have no salivary glands, probably not

  • I don't got a big attention span... Hey Luke!

  • Check out my new friend.

  • A big grey thing chased me up the mountain and froze!

  • Remember what I said about that?

  • That was your shadow.

  • Oh yeah, that thing

  • That tickles

  • I know

  • No seriously, I'm going to oil myself! Ha ha ha

  • Umm, you should listen to him, it's a big mess!

  • Hey, you shut your mouth, okay man?

  • Please accept my apologies, it will not happen again.

  • Yeah, that's what I thought

  • Careful, don't hurt me

  • Don't be so jumpy, I wouldn't....

  • I wouldn't - hurt - you

  • OW!! Uh oh

  • I want her to dance!

  • She does not dance.

  • Come on, make her dance for him

  • That's now how it works

  • I want a wooden snowman, but no one sells them

  • (knock on door)

  • I'll be right out!

  • I want a wooden snowman

  • Holy chicken, she's beautiful

  • I wish you were real!

  • Hey guys, we're collecting donations for the Jawa orphanage

  • Do you have any spare change?

  • Hey, you should know that you stink kinda like fish

  • Wait, what?

  • Everyone knows it except for you

  • Do I stink to you guys?

  • [No] [I can't really smell anything in this helmet]

  • And he hurt my spleen

  • Um how does that even happen?

  • Booka Flock!

  • Okay, you know what, you're just creeping me out, get out of here

  • I don't want your sass

  • Why don't you teach me how to glue something?

  • Look I just need the Pickaxe of Cortez and the Mystical Diamonds

  • Ah, that's weird, 'cause that's at the witches house.

  • The Haunted Mansion.

  • They call it the Death House. Hall of Fear.

  • The Death House?

  • You know, Biggs' little brother tripped in that

  • Well why don't you just move to Nevada... dude

  • Because I heard it was a bad part of Mexico!

  • Did you hear him, he doesn't even know geography!

  • Ahhh, just let me set 'em off at the meeting

  • I don't have any grilled meat

  • I have a monkey in a bottle

  • No, that's the pet giraffe.

  • Hey, does everybody like my wrists?

  • Hey, why'd you do that?

  • Step back, bubba jack!

  • Huh?

  • 'Cause some wrists are a bit weird

  • You said what?

  • You know, I should build a baby Taco Bell

  • The sign would be kind of cute.

  • Hmm. Yeahhh!

  • You know, you could make a fortune.

  • I love it when you say that

  • A lot of great skaters bust their teeth

  • That song doesn't make a bit of sense, and I don't like it

  • There's an extra part that's worth it and i'll sing it if I get to clip your nails

  • [The lavatory is now free]

  • okay anyway, I'm hopping on the can

  • Ahh, I'm going crazy I'm so hungry

  • Well I could make grilled cheese

  • No offense kid, I don't think you even know how to boil water

  • All right, come on baby, this is your papa

  • Want me to help the baby?

  • Dummy, it's a figure of speech.

  • I was a dog walker - Hey, you're really cute!

  • Ewww

  • Oh, you're REALLY cute, and I forgot to wash earlier, but my bed is open

  • No, person!

  • That's okay!

  • You got eyeliner, right?

  • Yeah right, check out if she's got beauty

  • Oh, maybe I oughta write you a song, right?

  • Ah-uhhhhhh

  • What darling?

  • Augh

  • FNEER!

  • GHAAUGH

  • Give me a big howl

  • Na-uh

  • HAHAHAhahahha KOO KOO Kwan

  • Why don't you drink phlegm?

  • So you know the princess and I are engaged, right?

  • Oh, you makes stuff up still, huh?

  • Shut up, you don't know

  • Yeah I do, and I know something else too

  • You got weird eyes

  • Your MOM'S got weird eyes

  • Yeah, and she went and poked MY eye for doing the crossword in her magazine

  • Well you deserved it, that's not cool

  • Did you take my wallet?

  • Of course not

  • And it's probably not in the trash by my armchair, so don't even look there

  • It looks like there's a Cheeto

  • Oh, they're playing

  • [This old man can't pitch]

  • FOUL!!

  • Ship sweet ship

  • I can't wait to go back there and try some of my brisket, cause i'm really sure nobody ate it!

  • Han.

  • Haaa-an

  • H-Haann

  • Someone... maybe... ate it

  • Yo, what's up Moff Ball?

  • I like bread

  • Yeah, great, thanks for reminding me of what I can't eat because of the mask

  • Well, you shouldn't have called me a big turd burglar at the gym

  • Heh heh, Turd Burglar

  • Hey, if you find a little economy fridge, I'll buy it

  • I also want a chipmunk, a gumball, a friend, a horse

  • A gumball?

  • Why'd you say that you want a gumball?

  • Cause the warden found all my loose skin!

  • I had like boxes and boxes and he took it somewhere

  • mmmm-boring

  • I bet you'll just buy some stupid guy thing

  • Ah, hey, dude

  • I bought a frisbee once

  • Hey, how'd my father die?

  • 49 times

  • We fought that beast

  • It had a chicken head with duck feet

  • With a woman's face too

  • Aww, that's rad!

  • It was waiting in the bushes for us

  • then it ripped off your dad's face

  • He was screaming something awful

  • In fact there was this huge mess and I had to change the floors

  • The floors?

  • You see, his blood drained into the boards and I had to change 'em

  • But we all got a chicken duck woman thing waiting for us

  • Every day I worry all day

  • About what's waiting in the bushes of love

  • Cuz something's waiting in the bushes for us

Hahaha, there she is! Ready to hit the cantina?

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B1 US burglar turd waiting weird stink dude

STAR WARS: A Bad Lip Reading

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    Loïc posted on 2016/01/01
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