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(summer bummer title)
Hi, I'm John Green. Welcome to my salon. I'm so glad I don't have Intermittent Explosive
Disorder, a condition marked by random fits of disproportionate rage. I'M SO ANGRY. AHHHHHHH.
Anyway, thats just one of 31 fascinating disorders we'll talk about today on mental_floss.
2. To people who suffer from Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, other people can look like they've
consumed "Eat Me" cakes or "Drink Me" potions. The distortion, caused by a rare type of migraine,
can last for weeks or mere seconds. *points to Donald on wall* Mark, is Donald Duck Syndrome
that disease when you dream about going to school with no pants on? If not, they are
really missing a naming opportunity there.
3. Are you an elderly Japanese woman who's sick of having a recently retired spouse underfoot?
Probably not, judging from our demographics. But if you are, then you might have the aptly
named Retired Husband Syndrome, which can actually cause physical ailment, like stomach
ulcers and rashes.
4. Japanese people are most susceptible to Paris Syndrome, the psychiatric breakdown
that occurs when the city of Paris, France, doesn't live up to the romantic ideal you've
envisioned. Thankfully, the Japanese embassy has a 24-hour hotline for citizens suffering
from culture shock. Really.
5. Truman Show Delusion is marked by a patient's belief that he or she is the star of an imaginary
reality show. The camera's real right?
6. It's possible that George Costanza was a victim of Genital Retraction Syndrome or
"Koro," a condition that causes people to believe their genitals are shrinking, disappearing,
or have been stolen entirely. Strangely, Koro is occasionally an epidemic.
7. And while we're talking Seinfeld, let us not overlook the time Kramer had seizures
upon hearing the voice of entertainment reporter Mary Hart. This was based on an actual incident
in which a woman had epileptic seizures due to the specific pitch and quality of the tone
of Mary Hart's voice.
8. Last Seinfeld reference, I swear. On the rare occasion that people laugh so hard they
faint, they're said to have something called Laugh Syncope. So when a 62-year-old man passed
out into his mashed potatoes because he was laughing so hard at a certain show about nothing,
doctors dubbed it "Seinfeld Syncope."
9. Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair - don't eat it. You've probably heard of trichophagia,
where people are compelled to eat their hair. The thing is, hair isn't digestible, so over
time, it accumulates into a giant mass that can wrap around and perforate internal organs,
which is called Rapunzel Syndrome.
10. Ever walk into a room and immediately forget why you're there? It could be Busy
Life Syndrome, which is essentially just information overload. Researchers blame constant stimulation
from cell phones, the Internet and social media. ...I'm sorry, that's my fault.
11. 12 and 13: Coprographia, coprolalia, and copropraxia. Respectively, those mean making
rude drawings or writings, using profane words, and making obscene gestures - all involuntarily.
You know, like Jonah Hill in that Superbad flashback.
14.*points to icecream* Does your strawberry ice cream taste like vanilla? You might have
dysgeusia, a disorder that distorts the sense of taste. Or they might have put the wrong
food coloring in the ice cream.
15. Often associated with dysgeusia is Burning Mouth Syndrome. Nearly 1.3 million Americans
suffer from it, so right now one of you is probably feels like you just got hot pizza
cheese plastered to the roof of your mouth - even if you haven't eaten recently.
16. Pizza probably wouldn't be at the top of the list for someone with Gourmand Syndrome.
Thought to be caused by an injury to the right frontal lobe of the brain, GS results in a
"preoccupation with food and a preference for fine eating." My syndrom does involve
a pre-occupation with food, but its the opposite: really low quality food..so I don't know what
that would be called, maybe American food.
*STAN CAN WE GET A LIBERTAGE!*
17. People suffering from Dr. Strangelove Syndrome often think they're Peter Sellers.
No. Strangelove Syndrome is also known as "alien hand syndrome," where one hand appears
to be controlled by someone other than the person it's attached to, even going so far
as to injure the person. Alien Hand Syndrome is also the subject of a terrible 1999 Devon
Sawa/Seth Green movie. Why by the way, is not related to me.
18. Inserting nonsense words for real words without even realizing it is the result of
Jargon aphasia. It can actually progress to the point where someone suffering from the
condition is talking in an entirely made-up language.
19. In other news of diseases that would be injurious to my career, Walking Corpse Syndrome.
Those with WCS, or Cotard's Delusion, think they're dead or rotting, have possibly lost
their blood or internal organs, or believe they never actually existed in the first place.
20. Capgras delusion is when you believe that a loved one has been replaced by an identical
impostor. {John looks suspiciously at a photo of Hank}. Hmm...good try, Mark...but I don't
love him.
21. I'm just kidding, Hank. If you're Hank. The flipside of Capgras is the Fregoli delusion,
which causes a person to believe that many different people are actually just a single
person who is skilled in the art of disguise. The first case was reported in 1927, when
a woman believed that two local stage actors were constantly following her, pretending
to be people she knew.
22. Ok. So here's a thing that exists: Purple urine bag syndrome, AKA PUBS. Occasionally,
nursing homes report that elderly patients who have been catheterized are producing bags
filled with purple pee. It appears to be a harmless condition that's likely caused by
certain enzymes mixing with tryptophan - the same stuff in turkey that's purported to make
you sleepy. Side note, but do you think California rasin's pee purple?
23. If you wake up one morning with an accent that you have no right to have, Madonna, it's
possible that you're the victim of Foreign Accent Syndrome. Doctors believe it happens
when the tiny area of the brain that controls language gets damaged by a stroke or other
brain injuries.
24. And now on to Exploding Head Syndrome. *Head Explodes* Mark, C'mon. Alright, that's
better. People with EHS hear loud noises that don't exist, most often waking them up in
the middle of the night. The noises have been described as everything from a bomb exploding
to cymbals crashing.
25. People who have little to no awareness of time have dyschronometria. This applies
to people who can't even approximate when 30 seconds have gone by, not your brother
who is consistently 15 minutes late to everything.
26. Just like the Beatles and Justin Bieber, pianist Franz Liszt had crazed fans. But,
back in li 1800s, the word "mania" had real medical connotations, so the fact that doctors
named the phenomenon "Lisztomania" indicated that it had physical symptoms including fainting
and hysteria. Although to be fair, I would likely faint in the presence of the Beibs.
27. Trimethylaminuria - let's just call it Fish Odor Syndrome - is a metabolic disorder
that makes you smell like day-old fish. There is no known cure or treatment. Good luck with
life!
28. Smelling odors that aren't really there? That's phantosmia.
29. Smelling something rotten when what's really there is something pleasant? That's
parosmia.
30. Not smelling anything at all? That's anosmia.
31. And lastly, we return to my portrait gallery to discuss Stendhal Syndrome. Does seeing
that baby octopus thing make your heart race? Does it make you feel like you might faint?
Then you might have Stendhal Syndrome. Such people often feel dizzy or faint when they
are in the presence of art that they find particularly beautiful or a lot of art.
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