You're Stifler's mom. Uh...

No, no, not lost. Just, um,

you know, taking the tour.

Hey, uh, thank you for letting us have this wonderful party.

As if there was an alternative in the matter.

So, you enjoying yourself?

I'm... three sheets to the wind, ma'am.

I'm so happy for you.

But it takes the edge off, doesn't it?

- Where's your little date tonight? - No date. It was...

It was a bathroom incident.

- Pardon me? - Never mind.

You have anything to drink?

I believe the kegs are upstairs.

That is what the cretins drink.

I'm talking about alcohol, liquor.

- The good stuff. - All right.

I got some scotch.

- Single malt? - Aged 18 years.

The way I like it.

Why don't you go grab a glass from the bar?

I think I should.

Allow me.

You know it's a bitchin' party.

The Stif-man always comes through in the clutch.