'You can't think how glad I am to see you

again, you dear old thing!' said the

Duchess, as she tucked her arm

affectionately into Alice's, and they

walked off together.

Alice was very glad to find her in such a

pleasant temper, and thought to herself

that perhaps it was only the pepper that

had made her so savage when they met in the

kitchen.

'When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself,

(not in a very hopeful tone though), 'I

won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL.

Soup does very well without--Maybe it's

always pepper that makes people hot-

tempered,' she went on, very much pleased

at having found out a new kind of rule,

'and vinegar that makes them sour--and

camomile that makes them bitter--and--and

barley-sugar and such things that make

children sweet-tempered.

I only wish people knew that: then they

wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know--'

She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this

time, and was a little startled when she

heard her voice close to her ear.

'You're thinking about something, my dear,

and that makes you forget to talk.

I can't tell you just now what the moral of

that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'

'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to

remark.

'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess.

'Everything's got a moral, if only you can

find it.'

And she squeezed herself up closer to

Alice's side as she spoke.

Alice did not much like keeping so close to

her: first, because the Duchess was VERY

ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly

the right height to rest her chin upon

Alice's shoulder, and it was an

uncomfortably sharp chin.

However, she did not like to be rude, so

she bore it as well as she could.

'The game's going on rather better now,'

she said, by way of keeping up the

conversation a little.

''Tis so,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral

of that is--"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that

makes the world go round!"'

'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that

it's done by everybody minding their own

business!'

'Ah, well!

It means much the same thing,' said the

Duchess, digging her sharp little chin into

Alice's shoulder as she added, 'and the

moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense,

and the sounds will take care of

themselves."'

'How fond she is of finding morals in

things!'

Alice thought to herself.

'I dare say you're wondering why I don't

put my arm round your waist,' the Duchess

said after a pause: 'the reason is, that

I'm doubtful about the temper of your

flamingo.

Shall I try the experiment?'

'HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied,

not feeling at all anxious to have the

experiment tried.

'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes

and mustard both bite.

And the moral of that is--"Birds of a

feather flock together."'

'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice

remarked.

'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what

a clear way you have of putting things!'

'It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.

'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who

seemed ready to agree to everything that

Alice said; 'there's a large mustard-mine

near here.

And the moral of that is--"The more there

is of mine, the less there is of yours."'

'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not

attended to this last remark, 'it's a

vegetable.

It doesn't look like one, but it is.'

'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess;

'and the moral of that is--"Be what you

would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put

more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to

be otherwise than what it might appear to

others that what you were or might have

been was not otherwise than what you had

been would have appeared to them to be

otherwise."'

'I think I should understand that better,'

Alice said very politely, 'if I had it

written down: but I can't quite follow it

as you say it.'

'That's nothing to what I could say if I

chose,' the Duchess replied, in a pleased

tone.

'Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any

longer than that,' said Alice.

'Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the

Duchess.

'I make you a present of everything I've

said as yet.'

'A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice.

'I'm glad they don't give birthday presents

like that!'

But she did not venture to say it out loud.

'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with

another dig of her sharp little chin.

'I've a right to think,' said Alice

sharply, for she was beginning to feel a

little worried.

'Just about as much right,' said the

Duchess, 'as pigs have to fly; and the m--'

But here, to Alice's great surprise, the

Duchess's voice died away, even in the

middle of her favourite word 'moral,' and

the arm that was linked into hers began to

tremble.

Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen

in front of them, with her arms folded,

frowning like a thunderstorm.

'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess

began in a low, weak voice.

'Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the

Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke;

'either you or your head must be off, and

that in about half no time!

Take your choice!'

The Duchess took her choice, and was gone

in a moment.

'Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said

to Alice; and Alice was too much frightened

to say a word, but slowly followed her back

to the croquet-ground.

The other guests had taken advantage of the

Queen's absence, and were resting in the

shade: however, the moment they saw her,

they hurried back to the game, the Queen

merely remarking that a moment's delay

would cost them their lives.

All the time they were playing the Queen

never left off quarrelling with the other

players, and shouting 'Off with his head!'

or 'Off with her head!'

Those whom she sentenced were taken into

custody by the soldiers, who of course had

to leave off being arches to do this, so

that by the end of half an hour or so there

were no arches left, and all the players,

except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were

in custody and under sentence of execution.

Then the Queen left off, quite out of

breath, and said to Alice, 'Have you seen

the Mock Turtle yet?'

'No,' said Alice.

'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'

'It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made

from,' said the Queen.

'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said

Alice.

'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and he

shall tell you his history,'

As they walked off together, Alice heard

the King say in a low voice, to the company

generally, 'You are all pardoned.'

'Come, THAT'S a good thing!' she said to

herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at

the number of executions the Queen had

ordered.

They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying

fast asleep in the sun.

(IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look

at the picture.)

'Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, 'and take

this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and

to hear his history.

I must go back and see after some

executions I have ordered'; and she walked

off, leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon.

Alice did not quite like the look of the

creature, but on the whole she thought it

would be quite as safe to stay with it as

to go after that savage Queen: so she

waited.

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes:

then it watched the Queen till she was out

of sight: then it chuckled.

'What fun!' said the Gryphon, half to

itself, half to Alice.

'What IS the fun?' said Alice.

'Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon.

'It's all her fancy, that: they never

executes nobody, you know.

Come on!'

'Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought

Alice, as she went slowly after it: 'I

never was so ordered about in all my life,

never!'

They had not gone far before they saw the

Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad

and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,

as they came nearer, Alice could hear him

sighing as if his heart would break.

She pitied him deeply.

'What is his sorrow?' she asked the

Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very

nearly in the same words as before, 'It's

all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no

sorrow, you know.

Come on!'

So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who

looked at them with large eyes full of

tears, but said nothing.

'This here young lady,' said the Gryphon,

'she wants for to know your history, she

do.'

'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in

a deep, hollow tone: 'sit down, both of

you, and don't speak a word till I've

finished.'

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some

minutes.

Alice thought to herself, 'I don't see how

he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin.'

But she waited patiently.

'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with

a deep sigh, 'I was a real Turtle.'

These words were followed by a very long

silence, broken only by an occasional

exclamation of 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon,

and the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock

Turtle.

Alice was very nearly getting up and

saying, 'Thank you, sir, for your

interesting story,' but she could not help

thinking there MUST be more to come, so she

sat still and said nothing.

'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went

on at last, more calmly, though still

sobbing a little now and then, 'we went to

school in the sea.

The master was an old Turtle--we used to

call him Tortoise--'

'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he

wasn't one?'

Alice asked.

'We called him Tortoise because he taught

us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily: 'really

you are very dull!'

'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for

asking such a simple question,' added the