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  • Welcome aboard this Air Middle Earth flight.

  • Before we set out on our journey, I would like to impart a story of safety.

  • Even if you fly with us often, be sure to keep a sharp eye on the briefing.

  • Make sure your belongings are hidden away in the compartments above or under the seat before you.

  • All travellers must keep a watchful eye on the lighted signs, and follow crew instructions.

  • If the seatbelt sign is on, sit yourself down and fasten your seatbelt quick smart.

  • Be sure that it's snug across your hips, though not so tight as to lose the feeling in your legs.

  • If you're in a SkyCouch row, there are special seatbelt instructions in your seat pocket.

  • We recommend keeping your seatbelt fastened throughout the journey.

  • Should you need to explore, it can always be undone.

  • If an oxygen mask should fall before you, simply pull down on the mask, place over your nose and mouth

  • and tighten by pulling the elastics on both sides. Oxygen will flow through the mask automatically.

  • If there are young ones around you, be sure to put your mask on before helping them.

  • Keep a sharp eye, as there may be others who need your help.

  • Mordor!

  • Mordor!

  • No, Mordor!

  • Should an emergency occur during take-off or landing, place your hands on your head

  • with your elbows on the outside of your thighs, whilst keeping your feet flat on the floor.

  • You can also brace yourself on the seat in front of you.

  • My precious...

  • In Business Premier sit upright, put your hands on your knees with your knees together against the wall

  • and your feet on the edge of the ottoman.

  • If you're seated in Economy and Premium Economy you'll find your lifejacket under your seat.

  • The SkyCouch has it in the top of the leg rest,

  • and if you're seated in Business Premier you'll find your lifejacket here beside you.

  • Life jackets are simple to master: take a firm hold and rip it from the bag then place it over your head like so.

  • Clip the straps together and tighten.

  • This red tab inflates the life jacket so only pull it once you leave the aircraft.

  • Oh, sorry!

  • If you need a little more inflation... Simply blow into the mouth-piece.

  • We shall provide life jackets for the very young, should the need arise.

  • There's no smoking allowed anywhere of any kind on this aircraft as it's a fire hazard.

  • Should you need a light in darkness to help you find your way,

  • the escape path lighting will lead you to an exit.

  • If ever there were a need to evacuate, support fellow passengers who might require help.

  • Your noble crew are now pointing out the exits.

  • You would be wise to note your nearest exit could be behind you, so cast your eyes about

  • and count the number of rows to your nearest exit.

  • You'll find more information on the safety card in your seat pocket.

  • Please power off all electronic devices during take-off and landing.

  • Electronic devices such as mobile phones can interfere with aircraft systems and must not be used in flight

  • unless you switch them to flight mode and ensure that all cellular, wi-fi and bluetooth capability is turned off.

  • Once switched to flight mode all electronic devices must be turned off for take-off and landing.

  • And finally, for take-off we ask that you place your tray table back, your leg rest down, and ensure your

  • seat back is upright, unless you're in Business Premier, where you choose your own seat back position.

  • Check to see that your window shades are open and your arm rests are lowered,

  • and be sure to fasten your seatbelt. Once this story has concluded

  • your entertainment screen and remote control need to be put away for take-off.

  • Now sit back, relax, and enjoy your journey.

  • May the road rise up to meet you and your beard grow ever longer.

  • May the sun shine warm upon your -

  • Fly, you fools!

Welcome aboard this Air Middle Earth flight.

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B1 UK seatbelt seat mask premier flight aircraft

An Unexpected Briefing #airnzhobbit

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    William Hvef posted on 2016/05/14
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