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  • ♫♪ music ♫♪ (bouncy / electronic)

  • ♫♪ romantic music ♫♪

  • prrrrrr!

  • (Tom) Shhhh!

  • Please shut your mouth

  • (Tom) The time for talking is over.

  • (Tom) I'm a man of action.

  • (Tom) Uh...

  • [flicking]

  • Uh.. please... wait there for one moment.

  • Is there a trick to this one at all?

  • Let me do it for you.

  • [♫♪ music reaches crescendo ♫♪]

  • [moaning]

  • [tv on in the background / cricket commentary]

  • What are you doing?

  • Watching TV... What are you doing?

  • I am building a time machine.

  • (Tom) I can see that... Why are you building a time machine?

  • (Matt) Because you can't remember anything.

  • (Tom) Pfft. Name one thing I can't remember.

  • (Matt) The fact that I won THAT bearsuit.

  • (Tom) Ahh! You mean MY bear suit?

  • (Matt) See what I mean? That's... that's why I'm building a time machine.

  • Good. Now I can go back in time and prove that you're a homo. [laughs]

  • (Matt) Do it, Tom! And then I... can go back to the year 10 formal...

  • ...and prove that you didn't tongue-pash Katie Hill.

  • hehehehahahahaHAHAHA!

  • Who says tongue pash??

  • [cricket commentary]

  • [scratching]

  • (Tom) [signs] Would you like a hand, Matt?

  • (Matt) No, it's just a time machine, Tom. Don't worry about it.

  • (Matt) ...I don't want you to miss the action of that five-day Test Match.

  • (Tom) [groans] That's OK. They're at drinks anyway, mate.

  • So... have you got a plan?

  • (Matt) Check this out.

  • (Tom) [scoffs]

  • (Matt) [yelling] Yeh, I drew it up at the party last night!!

  • (Tom) [laughs] Looks like a carousel, stuck to a car with a clock attached to it.

  • (Tom) So, what's with the ShizerNeuker? [kicks microwave]

  • (Matt) Hey! ...It's a microwave. micro.... wave...?

  • (Matt) Displacement??

  • (Matt) Gravitational Time Dillution...?

  • (Matt) .... Entropy...??

  • (Tom) And the clock?

  • (Matt) How many cordials have you had?

  • (Tom) Seven. So, once we figure out the bear suit business, what next?

  • (Matt) I think I'd like to meet Jesus. Just to see how black he really was.

  • (Matt) I'm picturing 'dark chocolate'.

  • (Tom) I want to see the dinosaurs.

  • (Matt) Ooooh - you're a brave man, Thomas.

  • (Tom) 1993. Jurassic Park. I never got to see it at the cinemas.

  • (Matt) Oh. You missed out on this then.

  • Rrrowrrowwowowoworrroooarr!

  • That's Tyrannusaurus Rex, Tom!

  • (Tom) Yup. So, is this thing going to even work? [door swinging]

  • [Matt] Oh... my... god....

  • It works!

  • [body hitting the floor]

  • (Tom) Homo!

  • Music ♪ [Electronic / Bouncy] \r�

♫♪ music ♫♪ (bouncy / electronic)

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