Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles [Cheerful orchestra music] ♪ ♪ [Engine turning over] [Rock music] ♪ Don't wanna hear ♪ ♪ about how the real world's ♪ ♪ the place for me ♪ ♪ There's nothing out there ♪ ♪ won't look better ♪ ♪ on a TV screen ♪ ♪ There a better way ♪ ♪ I don't care what you say ♪ ♪ I just want to play ♪ ♪ We all just want to play ♪ ♪ Things will be all right ♪ ♪ soon as I get back to school ♪ ♪ ♪ Okay, Swanlings, these birds are ready to fly. [Laughter] Hands in, everyone. I move to declare this Swan family dinner in session. All: seconded. [Laughter] So any new business? Oh, yes. Why did you leave vghs? Did you have a fight with your friends? I move we move on from this line of inquiry. All in favor, say, "aye." Both: nay. Call for a revote? Both: nay. [Laughter] Well, if you must know, you were right all along. VGHS is dumb. I would much rather go to vghs-- Video Game Home School. [Laughter] Honey, could we please turn off your laughing robot? We’re having a serious conversation. [Laughter] No. This is why I built Audie in the first place, to lubricate awkward social situations. I could use some more social lubricant myself. [Laughter] See? Honey, we're really worried about you. Clearly you're running away from something. There’s nothing to worry about. I’ve just dropped out of school to live with my parents for the rest of my life. [Laughter] [Doorbell rings] Oh, that must be Jenny with the rest of my things. Uh... [Pounds table] Meeting adjourned. [Laughter] One second. Hi, Kiwi! [Studio audience whoops] Ted, Brian... Welcome to my home. [Laughter] Um, Ki, can you open up? I brought you flowers. and I know you're really mad at me right now. I’m sorry. Also, also, it was a nine-hour cab ride, and I really have to pee. [Laughter] [Sighs] Wow. Nice place. Firstly, thank you for the flowers. Secondly... I am very mad at you. Oh, crap. Brian, run! You lied to me. You stood me up for prom to go to an erotic arcade. and you killed Josh's virtual pet. Well, technically, I let it starve. [Scoffs loudly] Good save, man. and you, Brian... for shame. For what? For-- I don't know. I’m just really thrown by you being here with Ted. I thought you two were fighting. well, we are. But I called a truce because we wanted to make sure that you're okay. Aw, thanks. Yeah, turns out, with the Whole Jenny thing and the whole Ted thing, you're kind of the only friend that I don't have a thing with right now. I miss you too. What? I miss you way more than he does. Oh, grow up, Ted. grow a bigger butt, Brian. Wow! God, why don't you two just go and make out already? Maybe we will. Yeah, maybe we will. Wait. We will? Oh, no. I mean, no, I never really-- Yeah, I never-- Me neither. I just--I mean, you are... you too. What is happening? [Laughter] Okay, Ki, where do you want this? [Studio audience cheers] Hi, Jenny. Thanks for bringing my stuff. You can just put that... Anywhere. Hi, Brian. Jenny. How’s it going? Great. How are you? Also great. "Also great"? What a coincidence. I know--small world. Yeesh, these two... Frosty. [Laughter] Okay, what's with the Laughing robot? [Laughter] Oh, you guys hear that too? Of course we hear it. It’s really distracting. Her name is Audie, and she's not distracting. She’s charming. [Audience aws] Okay, that is weird, Ki. Actually, yeah, are you okay? Is this, like, a cry for help? You’re a cry for help! Oh. [Chuckles nervously] Mm. Yeah, so, uh, I was fine before you all showed up. And thank you for coming, everybody. And if you could all please leave, that would be excellent. Nobody’s going anywhere. No, if you kids are having problems, you should face them head-on. Ooh, Karen, are you thinking what I’m thinking? Both: Couples Council. No, not Couples Council. I hate that game. All in favor, say, "Aye." Both: aye. Aye. ow. [Laughter] Couples Council is a little game Karen and I whipped up back when we first moved in together. Yes, and if it can get us through the great dishwashing argument, it can help you kids too. Ki, why don't you tell your Friends the rules? First, you pick a partner. I call Ted. Oh, fine. I call Ki. I want to be with Ki. Well, I don't want to be with you. Don’t worry, Ted. We are gonna crush these chumps. Yeah, then Ki will have to forgive me. Hey, Ki, who's dumber-- Ted or Jenny for picking Ted? Easy answer--Jenny. [Gasps] Yeah. Better go put some Ebelskivers on, honey. It’s gonna be a long game. [Laughter] Ted, sit over there. Jenny, can you recall for the court the events of April 23rd? Uh... The day you broke up with me. You broke up with me. Yeah, 'cause you were gonna break up with me. Objection! Your honor, counsel is testifying. We’re on the same team. Yes, and you are blowing our case. [Gavel bangs] Order in the court. Unless you all want contempt tokens, I suggest you move on. We call to the stand Theodore Wong. I’m supposed to stand? Just sit in the chair, Ted. I’m supposed to sit. [Sighs] Ted... Take responsibility for what you've done, or we're never getting back together. Argumentative. Sustained. Come on, Ki, just take me back already. Why? Because... We are... You know... Soul mates! How can we know that, though? I mean, really, you're the first boy I’ve ever dated Ted, and I’m the first girl you've ever dated. Ah, that's not true, though. I went out with Jenny freshman year. What? You went out with Jenny? Oh, crap. She meant nothing to me. It was the first week of school. I literally forgot about it. Yeah, me too.