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  • - This one's going to be Captain Morgan.

  • - Wow.

  • - This one's going to be Costco, I bet, but let's try it.

  • - Ever hear a little phrase called

  • don't judge a book by it's cover?

  • - No, why would I not judge a book by

  • what I'm using to buy it?

  • (happy bass guitar)

  • - That's the whole premise behind this is

  • that Costco has their own generic brand.

  • - I heard Kirkland is surprisingly good.

  • - I feel like all Kirkland products are pretty tight.

  • - I think I dated a girl that wore Kirkland brand jeans.

  • - Give me the alcohol.

  • - Let's get to smellin'.

  • - Well two's definitely darker.

  • - Cheers.

  • Ahh.

  • - Oh you (bleep), you took your whole one.

  • - It tastes like eggnog minus the egg.

  • - It's like honey.

  • That is not Captain Morgan.

  • - That's not Captain Morgan.

  • - Let's try it.

  • - Captain Morgan brings back a lot of bad memories.

  • - Two smells even sweeter.

  • - It is even sweeter.

  • - This packs more of a punch.

  • - Yeah it tastes like a gingerbread man.

  • - Yeah, like a drunk gingerbread man.

  • - Number two, Costco, and number one, Captain Morgan.

  • - Well that's what I said.

  • - I think that's the Captain Morgan

  • because I would never drink something that tasted like this.

  • - Yeah, I agree.

  • - And I've had Captain Morgan before.

  • - Number two is Captain.

  • - Two is Captain Morgan and one is Costco.

  • - This one's Costco? - [Woman] What?

  • - Damn it.

  • - And I think is Costco.

  • - My initial thought was that this

  • was Captain Morgan, but I'm gonna change it

  • and say that this is Costco and it's a copycat.

  • - [Voiceover] Ashly is correct.

  • - Yay!

  • - So this is the infamous, Grey Goose has the

  • same quality as the Costco Brand.

  • - Mmmm.

  • - Boop!

  • - That went down pretty easy.

  • - Uggh!

  • - Like Kesha.

  • (throat clearing)

  • - ♫ I'm yellin' timber

  • - That's like drinkin' Alex Mack if Alex Mack was a liquid.

  • - Two, cheers.

  • - Cheers.

  • - This is incredibly smooth.

  • - This one is smoother than the first one.

  • - Aaach!

  • - Two is slightly more palatable.

  • - My lips burn.

  • - One has got to be Grey Goose.

  • It's way fancier.

  • - Yeah, it just feels like I should

  • be on a rooftop veranda when I drink this,

  • and this feels like maybe a lower to the ground veranda.

  • - Two is Goose.

  • - I think one is Costco.

  • - One is Grey Goose.

  • - Two is Grey Goose, one is Costco.

  • - Finally, we differ.

  • - One is Costco, because all the vodkas I drink at bars,

  • which are the nicer vodkas, make me go aach.

  • - Two is Costco, one is Grey Goose

  • and she's saying the opposite.

  • - [Voiceover] Two is Grey Goose.

  • - Ahhh (laughs).

  • - Damn it, Costco you failed me.

  • - Stop wasting your money on this.

  • - I'm not the biggest Canadian whisky person,

  • and honestly, I really don't like Crown Royal.

  • (burps)

  • (laughs)

  • - Shot burps.

  • - Hashtag shot burps.

  • - No.

  • - They look exactly the same, literally

  • the same color, the same everything.

  • - This is like dehydrated for weeks in a desert pee color.

  • (laughs)

  • (burps)

  • (laughs)

  • - I think that's the Crown Royal.

  • - It's kinda, vaguely smokey.

  • - It's kinda like maple-ey.

  • - I know what it tastes like.

  • - All right.

  • It's the taste of my unhappy childhood.

  • - It's like someone with whiskey breath

  • talking really close to your face.

  • - Yeah, what is that like?

  • - No!

  • - Okay, number two?

  • - It's very harsh.

  • - Oh yeah, this is way harsher, I only took half a sip.

  • - No, number one is the better one.

  • - I agree, number one tastes like Crown Royal.

  • - Two is Crown Royal and one is Costco.

  • - I say the opposite, one is Crown Royal, two is Costco.

  • - This is the Crown Royal.

  • - We agree on this.

  • - [Voiceover] Number one is Crown Royal.

  • - Nooo! - (bleep)

  • (laughing)

  • - [Voiceover] Three, two, one, Costco.

  • - Oh!

  • - [Voiceover] Number two is Costco.

  • - Yay!

  • - You see?

  • - Do we win a prize?

  • Is the prize more shots?

  • - Yeah, the whiskey was pretty great.

  • I feel like the vodka was just so clean,

  • it's almost dangerous.

  • - It was unbelievable.

  • - Buy the vodka with caution because that,

  • you're going to have a party.

  • - Yeah. (laughs)

  • - Costco if you're listening right now, I believed in you.

  • I felt like you would be the superior liquor,

  • when in fact--

  • - Where were you?

  • - Costco is living a life of luxury.

  • - Being an elitist about alcohol is stupid.

  • Everybody's trying to get to the same finish line.

  • We're all trying to get (bleep) up.

  • So whether you get there by walking,

  • or you get there on a scooter,

  • or you get there on a Segway,

  • or you get there on a private jet,

  • who gives a (bleep), we're all getting there.

- This one's going to be Captain Morgan.

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