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  • ś it's my birthday too ś

  • ś [ imitating guitar, drums ] don't do that, okay ?

  • ś hey, jude-- ś just stop it, okay ?

  • I mean, it's really been a shitty birthday for me.

  • No offense, but I don't need a serenade right how.

  • What's wrong ? You didn't get anything good, or--

  • I didn't get shit. Not even a "happy birthday."

  • My whole family just sort of blew it off.

  • I'd freak if my family forgot my birthday. It's a brand-new year.

  • I'm 16. Everything should be platinum.

  • I should be happy, right ? Right ? Yeah.

  • Well, I can't get happy.

  • It is physically impossible for me to get happy.

  • Would you feel better if you knew one of my secrets, or--

  • Don't gross me out.

  • No, we're not talking gross here.

  • No. It's-- it's just embarrassing.

  • [ exhaling ] this information cannot leave this room, okay ?

  • It would devastate my reputation as a dude.

  • No problem.

  • [ clears throat ]

  • I've never bagged a babe.

  • I'm not a stud.

  • [ giggling ]

  • I got the rep in sixth grade.

  • And it, like, it stuck with me.

  • I'm still on hold.

  • Look, I'd appreciate you not laughing here, okay ? [ laughing ]

  • I'm sorry.

  • That's not what I meant.

  • I meant--

  • Hey, time out, junior. [ horn honking ]

  • [ exhales ]

  • Pardon me.

  • It's okay.

  • I meant that it's okay that you did it once,

  • But I didn't mean for you to do it again !

  • I'm sorry.

  • [ sighing ] sorry.

  • You know, just now I really felt how much you like me.

  • You're probably zoning in on my brain waves or something.

  • Well, not really. I felt it on my leg.

  • Come on, I don't want to see it !

  • Oh.

  • Sorry if I embarrassed you.

  • I'm not embarrassed.

  • Fresh breath's a priority in my life.

ś it's my birthday too ś

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