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  • Sure, games can take themselves seriously, and try to elevate the art and craft of electronic

  • entertainment. But sometimes, you don’t want that. You want ABSURDITY. You want a

  • bunnygirl riding a missile, shooting carrots, and slaloming through a giant crane game.

  • Konami knows that feel. So they stuck all their eggs in one blender, set it toside-scrolling

  • SHMUP,” and thus Parodius - the Parody of Gradius - was born. And... we here in the

  • states never got to play it. Skipped right over us and headed to Europe. But I’m not

  • bitter! Fortunately, friend of the show Osamu in Hitachinaka sent us a copy of the first

  • Super Famicom offering in this moderately deranged series, Gokujo! Parodius. If you

  • have any aversion to strangeness, absurdity, or the binomial theorem, look away NOW.

  • I always knew algebra was good for something. Yes, that’s the Twinbee wreaking havoc upon

  • a... um... cake. Look, if you’d watched my review of Bio Miracle: Bokutte Upa, this

  • wouldn’t seem as strange! I mean, he’s even a playable character here! As are a number

  • of other Konami figures, from the obvious choices like the Vic Viper to hangers-on like

  • Goemon and Kid Dracula. But while the cast may be diverse, the general concept is the

  • same: It’s just like Gradius, with the same power-up capsules and weapons track across

  • the bottom of the screen, the same slew of enemies coming from all sides, and the same

  • huge bosses. It’s just... um... weirder. I don’t know how else to describe a ballet-performing

  • panda wearing a tutu whose only weak spot is the duck on his head. I don’t even think

  • that sentence has been constructed before in the history of the English language. That’s

  • the kind of game this is: Anything-goes ridiculousness. And it’s fun as HELL, so long as youre

  • willing to laugh.

  • Yes, some of the tricks may seem a bit cheap. The game may slow down to a crawl if there’s

  • too much action on screen. The soundtrack might consist entirely of stuff they could

  • grab from the public domain. (Seriously. Who goes into a SHMUP expecting to hear The Stars

  • and Stripes Forever?) But that doesn’t matter. Youll be ENJOYING yourself too much, just

  • waiting to see how the game outdoes itself next. And once youve seen everything it

  • can throw at you... it’s still a well-built SHMUP from a storied lineage that does well

  • by its own genre’s standards. It’s just not a serious, world-hanging-in-the-balance

  • battle against enemy aliens. Instead, you get... well, you get very American-looking

  • eagles shooting beam cannons at you while disembodied heads fly in formation, before

  • some Xevious-looking tumbling rectangle things come after you (and apparently require 256

  • shots to destroy). And then a giant mouth wielding pastry bags does its best impersonation

  • of a Big Core from Gradius. You can’t make this up. All you can do is lean back and enjoy

  • it. Just watch out for falling rocks. And falling deer. And falling punctuation.

Sure, games can take themselves seriously, and try to elevate the art and craft of electronic

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B2 absurdity konami falling shooting giant dracula

CGR Undertow - GOKUJOU! PARODIUS review for Super Famicom

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    阿多賓 posted on 2013/04/15
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