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  • >> Mark: AND WE LOVE IT.

  • THAT'S WHY A GUY CAN SIT

  • IN FRONT OF A TV AND GO--

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: [laughs maniacally]

  • IT GLOWS.

  • OF COURSE, THIS DRIVES

  • OUR WIVES NUTS,

  • BECAUSE THEY'LL COME UP

  • AND SAY, "STOP THAT!

  • YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY

  • BE WATCHING ANYTHING!"

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "I'M NOT."

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "GO AWAY."

  • NOW, THEY'VE ACTUALLY

  • MEASURED THIS.

  • THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA,

  • A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO,

  • DID A STUDY AND DISCOVERED

  • THAT MEN HAVE THE ABILITY

  • TO THINK ABOUT

  • ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,

  • AND STILL BREATHE.

  • YOU KNOW?

  • THEY CONNECTED ALL THE WIRES

  • AND STUFF LIKE THAT

  • AND WATCHED

  • THEIR BRAIN ACTIVITY.

  • AND ALL OF A SUDDEN--

  • [imitates electricity buzzing]

  • "I THINK HE'S DEAD!"

  • "HUH?"

  • YOU KNOW?

  • WOMEN CAN'T DO IT.

  • THEY CAN'T DO IT.

  • THEIR MINDS NEVER STOP.

  • [imitates clicking]

  • AND THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND

  • THE NOTHIN' BOX.

  • AND IT DRIVES 'EM CRAZY,

  • BECAUSE NOTHING

  • DRIVES A WOMAN MORE CRAZY

  • OR MAKES HER FEEL MORE IRRITATED

  • THAN TO WITNESS

  • A MAN DOING NOTHING!

  • >> [audience cheering]

  • >> Mark: NOW,

  • ONE OF THE BIGGEST REVELATIONS

  • I GET OUT OF WOMEN

  • IS THIS WHOLE NOTHING BOX ISSUE.

  • THEY-- "EVERYTHING'S

  • STARTING TO MAKE SENSE."

  • AND I'VE HAD WOMEN SAY,

  • "OH, IT'S NOTHING.

  • CAN I GO

  • IN HIS NOTHING BOX WITH HIM?"

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "NO!"

  • "WHY NOT?"

  • "BECAUSE THEN IT'S SOMETHING!

  • BESIDES, YOU'LL WALK

  • IN THERE AND GO...

  • 'YOU KNOW,

  • THIS PLACE COULD REALLY USE

  • SOME PICTURES.

  • A NICE, LITTLE TABLE OVER HERE

  • AND SOME FLOWERS--'

  • NO! DUMMY!

  • GET OUT.

  • WE DON'T WANT NOTHING."

  • NOW, THIS HANDLES THE WAY

  • MEN AND WOMEN HANDLE STRESS.

  • OKAY?

  • WHEN A MAN IS STRESSED OUT,

  • ALL HE WANTS TO DO

  • IS RUN TO HIS NOTHING BOX.

  • THIS IS HOW WE UNWIND.

  • THE LAST THING WE WANT TO DO

  • WHEN WE'RE STRESSED OUT

  • IS TALK ABOUT IT.

  • WE DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

  • WE JUST WANT TO--

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: 'CAUSE IT

  • JUST DRIVES HER NUTS.

  • YOU KNOW?

  • A WOMAN'LL SEE A MAN

  • IN THAT VEGETATIVE STATE,

  • AND SHE'LL COME UP AND GO...

  • "WHATCHA THINKIN' ABOUT?"

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "NOTHIN'."

  • "WELL, YOU GOTTA BE THINKIN'

  • ABOUT SOMETHIN'!"

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "NO, I WAS THINKIN'

  • ABOUT NOTHING.

  • IN FACT, I AS ON A ROLL

  • 'TIL YOU SHOWED UP.

  • GO AWAY!" ALL RIGHT?

  • 'CAUSE THAT'S

  • HOW HE HANDLES STRESS.

  • HE JUST--

  • [imitates sighing]

  • NOW, WHEN A WOMAN

  • IS STRESSED OUT,

  • SHE HAS TO TALK ABOUT IT.

  • IF SHE DOESN'T TALK ABOUT IT,

  • HER BRAIN WILL

  • LITERALLY EXPLODE.

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: SO SHE'LL START JUST--

  • "I DON'T KNOW.

  • MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING

  • TO DO WITH THIS...

  • [muttering]

  • I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS.

  • MY BROTHER OVER HERE SAID--

  • [mutters, screams]

  • AND I KNOW MEN WHO RUN

  • FROM THEIR WIVES

  • WHEN THEY DO THIS.

  • THEY DO.

  • I SAY, "WHY DO YOU RUN

  • FROM HER?"

  • HE SAYS, "'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW

  • WHAT TO TELL HER."

  • I SAID, "DEAR GOD, MAN,

  • WHO TOLD YOU

  • TO TELL HER ANYTHING?"

  • SHE'LL WANT YOU

  • TO TELL HER ANYTHING?

  • A LOT OF GUYS,

  • THEY FEEL OBLIGATED WHEN--

  • WHEN YOU START EXPLAINING

  • ALL YOUR STRESS,

  • THEY FEEL OBLIGATED TO FIX IT.

  • RIGHT?

  • 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT A MAN DOES.

  • A MAN ONLY TELLS HIS TROUBLES

  • TO ANOTHER MAN,

  • IN HOPES THAT THAT MAN

  • WILL HELP FIX IT.

  • OKAY? BUT SHE'S NOT A MAN.

  • AND YOU TRY AND FIX HER,

  • SHE'S GONNA KILL YOU.

  • ALL RIGHT?

  • SHE DOESN'T WANT YOUR ADVICE.

  • SHE DOESN'T WANT YOUR HELP.

  • SHE WANTS YOU TO SHUT UP

  • AND LISTEN.

  • AND A COUPLE OF LADIES:

  • "THAT'S RIGHT.

  • YOU TELL HIM!

  • TELL HIM TO SHUT UP."

  • >> [audience applauding]

  • >> Mark: [laughs]

  • THEY LIKE THAT.

  • NOW, I HAD ONE GUY TELL ME,

  • "MAN, IF SHE'D JUST TELL ME

  • HOW SHE FEELS."

  • I SAID,

  • "SHE DOESN'T KNOW YET."

  • SAYS, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

  • "THAT'S HOW SHE FIGURES OUT

  • HOW SHE FEELS,

  • BY CONNECTING THIS WIRE

  • TO THAT WIRE,

  • THIS WIRE AND SO ON."

  • [imitates buzzing]

  • NOW, BECAUSE

  • THEY LOVE EACH OTHER,

  • THEY OFFER TO EACH OTHER

  • THEIR ANSWER.

  • THEIR SOLUTION.

  • A MAN SENSES

  • HIS WIFE IS STRESSED OUT.

  • HE LOVES THE GIRL.

  • HE OFFERS TO THE GIRL

  • HIS BEST AND FINEST SOLUTION.

  • "JUST QUIT TALKIN' ABOUT IT."

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "JUST QUIT

  • THINKIN' ABOUT IT."

  • >> [audience applauding]

  • >> Mark: AND THAT'S

  • WHEN SHE STARTS REACHING

  • FOR THE KNIVES AND STUFF.

  • BUT SHE'S GONNA STAB YOU

  • IF YOU KEEP IT UP, OKAY?

  • NOW, A WOMAN, SHE SENSES

  • HER HUSBAND'S ALL STRESSED OUT.

  • SHE LOVES HIM.

  • THEREFORE, SHE OFFERS TO HIM

  • HER BEST AND FINEST SOLUTION.

  • "TALK TO ME!"

  • WHY WON'T YOU TALK

  • TO ME-E-E-E?"

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "GO AWAY."

  • HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

  • LEAVE HIM ALONE.

  • HE WILL NOT DIE.

  • HE'S NOT A WOMAN.

  • ALL RIGHT?

  • I KNOW,

  • YOU'VE GOTTA TALK IT THROUGH,

  • OR YOU'RE GONNA

  • BE TWISTED INSIDE.

  • HE'S NOT LIKE THAT.

  • LEAVE THE BOY ALONE.

  • YOU CAN TELL HE'S STRESSED OUT?

  • JUST LET HIM GO

  • TO HIS NOTHIN' BOX.

  • JUST STAY AWAY.

  • STAY AWAY. OKAY?

  • AND IT'S HARD FOR US

  • TO UNDERSTAND THAT,

  • BECAUSE WE THINK

  • SO DIFFERENTLY FROM EACH OTHER.

  • NOW, NOT ONLY DOES THIS AFFECT

  • THE WAY THAT

  • WE RESPOND TO STRESS AND STUFF;

  • THE WAY OUR BRAINS ARE WIRED

  • ALSO AFFECTS

  • THE WAY THAT WE USE WORDS.

  • OKAY?

  • MEN TEND TO USE

  • LESS WORDS THAN WOMEN.

  • THAT'S BECAUSE THE WOMEN HAVE

  • ALL THE WIRES

  • THEY'RE TRYING TO CONNECT,

  • AND THEY'RE TRYING TO EXPLAIN

  • EACH AND EVERY CONNECTION.

  • NOW, THEY SAY

  • THAT IF A MAN NEEDS TO SPEAK

  • 10,000 WORDS IN A DAY,

  • A WOMAN NEEDS TO SPEAK 20,000.

  • MY WIFE SAYS,

  • "THAT'S BECAUSE

  • WE'VE GOTTA REPEAT

  • EVERYTHING WE SAY."

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: TO WHICH

  • I RESPONDED, "HUH?"

  • [laughs]

  • WHERE IS MY DARLING REDHEAD?

  • IS SHE AROUND? COME UP.

  • I WANT YOU TO MEET

  • MY WIFE, DEBBIE.

  • COME ON UP HERE.

  • >> [audience applauding]

  • >> Mark: [laughs]

  • PEOPLE SAY,

  • "DOESN'T SHE TALK, TOO?"

  • NOPE. [laughs]

  • NOT TO YOU, ANYWAY.

  • SHE TALKS TO ME, BUT SHE WON'T--

  • SHE WON'T TALK TO YOU,

  • BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT

  • TO TALK TO YOU.

  • THAT'S ALL.

  • WHERE'S MY TABLET?

  • I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING

  • ABOUT THE WHOLE WORDS THING.

  • UM, YOU KNOW,

  • THEY ACTUALLY MEASURED THIS.

  • THEY WENT IN,

  • AND STUDIED CHILDREN AND BABIES,

  • AND FOUND OUT--

  • THEY ACTUALLY WENT,

  • AND TOOK CAMERAS

  • AND PUT 'EM IN NURSERIES,

  • AND ANALYZED THE PICTURES LATER.

  • AND THEY NOTICED, THE PICTURES

  • OF THE LITTLE GIRLS:

  • RIGHT FROM THE GET-GO,

  • THEIR MOUTHS ARE JUST GOIN'.

  • JUST--

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: IT'S TRUE. IT'S TRUE.

  • AND THEN THEY ANALYZED

  • THE PICTURES OF LITTLE BOYS.

  • THEY'RE JUST--

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: THEY'RE STILL THINKIN',

  • "WHAT WAS THAT?

  • I WANNA GO BACK.

  • I DON'T GET IT."

  • OKAY?

  • UM, THEN THEY WENT,

  • AND THEY RECORDED CONVERSATIONS

  • OF LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS

  • ON PLAYGROUNDS,

  • AND THEY WENT BACK

  • AND ANALYZED 'EM.

  • AND THEY DISCOVERED

  • THAT LITTLE GIRLS LOVE TO TALK.

  • THEY WERE VERY ARTICULATE,

  • LOVE TO USE FULL SENTENCES,

  • JUST LOVE TO TALK.

  • AND IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE

  • ANYBODY TO TALK TO,

  • THEY WERE PERFECTLY CONTENT

  • TO TALK TO NOBODY.

  • AND THEY WOULD JUST,

  • "LA, LA, LA, LA, LA."

  • JUST COMPLETE SENTENCES.

  • THEN THEY ANALYZED

  • THE CONVERSATIONS

  • OF THE LITTLE BOYS,

  • AND ONLY ABOUT 55% OF IT

  • WAS INTELLIGIBLE.

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: THEY

  • COULDN'T UNDERSTAND

  • WHAT THEY WERE SAYIN'.

  • YOU KNOW?

  • [imitates boys laughing]

  • [imitates barking]

  • YOU KNOW? JUST--

  • THAT'S CONVERSATION TO A MAN.

  • OKAY? NOW--

  • NOT ONLY DO WE USE

  • DIFFERENT AMOUNTS OF WORDS;

  • WORDS CAN MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS

  • TO MEN AND WOMEN.

  • FOR EXAMPLE...

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: NOW, TO MOST MEN,

  • FIVE MINUTES MEANS FIVE MINUTES.

  • TO A LOT OF WOMEN,

  • IT CAN BE

  • AN INDEFINITE PERIOD OF TIME.

  • "ARE YOU READY YET?"

  • "FIVE MORE MINUTES!"

  • [sighs]

  • AS WE DISCUSSED,

  • MEN UNDERSTAND NOTHIN'.

  • WOMEN DON'T UNDERSTAND

  • THE SIGNIFICANCE OF NOTHIN'.

  • IF A WOMAN SAYS,

  • "NOTHIN'," LOOK OUT.

  • IT'S SOMETHIN'.

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "OH, DUDE, MAN.

  • DUDE, MAN.

  • I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED."

  • "WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?"

  • "I DON'T KNOW.

  • I ASKED MY WIFE

  • WHAT SHE WAS UPSET ABOUT."

  • "WHAT'D SHE SAY?

  • WHAT'D SHE SAY?"

  • "SHE SAID, 'NOTHIN'."

  • "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, MAN!

  • RUN NOW! GET OUT!"

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: NOW,

  • THIS IS NOT A WORD.

  • IT'S A VOCALIZATION.

  • IT'S A SIGH. [sighs]

  • NOW, WHEN A MAN SIGHS,

  • IT MEANS,

  • "EVERYTHING IS GOOD WITH LIFE."

  • [sighs]

  • WHEN A WOMAN SIGHS, IT MEANS,

  • "YOU ARE AN IDIOT."

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: [sighs]

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: NOW, WHEN A MAN SAYS,

  • "GO AHEAD," HE'S BEING POLITE.

  • WHEN A WOMAN SAYS, "GO AHEAD,"

  • SHE'S GIVING YOU THE OPPORTUNITY

  • TO EXPLAIN WHATEVER STUPID THING

  • IT WAS YOU JUST DID.

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: BUT YOU NEED

  • TO BE VERY CAREFUL

  • IN THE EXPLANATION,

  • BECAUSE IT'S VERY LIKELY

  • TO BE FOLLOWED BY A SIGH.

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: WHICH WILL LEAD

  • TO AN ARGUMENT OVER NOTHIN'.

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: AND THEN

  • YOU AIN'T GONNA HAVE SEX AGAIN

  • FOR AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES.

  • >> [audience applauding]

  • >> Mark: MEN'S BRAINS;

  • WOMEN'S BRAINS.

  • JUST THE WAY THEY WORK.

  • YOU KNOW?

  • WOMEN'S BRAINS, THEY GOT--

  • WOMEN'S BRAINS COME

  • WITH LOTS OF EXTRA RAM.

  • SO THEY CAN REMEMBER

  • THE DETAILS OF EVERYTHING.

  • MEN'S BRAINS COME

  • WITH ONLY THE MINIMUM

  • BASIC REQUIREMENTS...

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: ...TO KEEP US

  • BREATHING AND EATING.

  • OKAY? THAT'S WHY MEN--

  • A LOT OF MEN,

  • WE DON'T HANG ON

  • TO LOTS OF DETAILS.

  • THEY DON'T STICK TO US.

  • YOU KNOW?

  • WHEN AN EVENT HAPPENS,

  • WE JUST CATEGOR--

  • CATEGORIZE IT AS, "AN EVENT."

  • ALL RIGHT?

  • WHEREAS WOMEN,

  • IT'S NOT JUST THE EVENT.

  • IT'S ALL THE DETAILS

  • CONNECTED WITH AN EVENT.

  • YOU'LL RUN INTO THIS

  • WHEN A FRIEND OF YOUR FAMILY

  • OR SOMETHING WILL CALL,

  • AND SHE JUST HAD A BABY.

  • AND THEN YOU TELL YOUR WIFE,

  • "OH, SO-AND-SO'S CALLED.

  • THEY HAD THE BABY."

  • AND SHE'LL SAY,

  • "WELL, WHAT WAS IT?"

  • AND HE SAYS,

  • "WELL, IT WAS A BABY."

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "WHAT KIND OF BABY?"

  • "I DON'T KNOW.

  • IT'S A BABY.

  • WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?"

  • "WELL, HOW LONG WAS IT?"

  • "WELL, I DON'T KNOW!"

  • "HOW LONG? HOW TALL?

  • YOU KNOW,

  • HOW MUCH DID IT WEIGH?"

  • "I DON'T KNOW.

  • UNDER 20 POUNDS."

  • YOU KNOW? JUST--

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: BUT THIS DETAIL,

  • DETAIL, DETAIL.

  • YOU NOW?

  • A WOMAN WILL COME UP

  • TO A GUY AND SAY,

  • "HOW WAS YOUR DAY?"

  • AND WE GO TO THE RAM,

  • AND ALL THAT'S THERE IS THAT,

  • IT WAS A DAY.

  • AND WE SAY, "IT WAS FINE."

  • AND SHE'LL SAY,

  • "WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?"

  • AND WE GO TO THE RAM,

  • AND THERE'S NOTHING THERE.

  • WE SAY-- AND WE PANIC.

  • AND WE GO, "NOTHIN'."

  • BUT WOMEN, THEY GOT ALL THIS--

  • [imitates machine clicking]

  • THAT'S WHY, WHEN A GUY

  • RETELLS A STORY,

  • IT'S USUALLY PRETTY MUCH

  • JUST A BOTTOM-LINE

  • KIND OF THING.

  • "WHAT HAPPENED?"

  • "THIS HAPPENED.

  • THAT HAPPENED.

  • WE'RE DONE."

  • WHEN A LOT OF WOMEN SHARE

  • WHAT HAPPENED,

  • THEY RELIVE THE EVENT

  • IN EXCRUCIATINGLY

  • PAINFUL DETAIL.

  • I MEAN, YOU ARE THERE.

  • YOU KNOW?

  • AND IT CAN DRIVE--

  • YOU KNOW, COUPLES CAN REALLY

  • FIGHT OVER THIS.

  • MY WIFE AND I

  • STILL FIGHT OVER THIS ONE.

  • YOU KNOW?

  • THIS JUST DRIVES US CRAZY.

  • SHE JUST-- SWEETHEART,

  • WHEN YOUR HUSBAND

  • ASKS THE QUESTION,

  • "WHAT DID THE PLUMBER SAY?"

  • HE REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW

  • WHAT HE SAID.

  • "I SAID, 'HOW ARE YOU DOING?'

  • HE SAID, 'FINE.'

  • I SAID,

  • 'WHAT A NICE DAY WE'RE HAVING.'

  • HE SAID, 'YEAH.'

  • AND HE SAID, 'GOT ANY KIDS?'"

  • "NO! WHAT DID HE SAY?

  • BOTTOM LINE!" YOU KNOW?

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: details.

  • [imitates machine]

  • MEN'S BRAINS;

  • WOMEN'S BRAINS.

  • IT ALSO AFFECTS

  • NOT ONLY THE WORDS WE USE

  • AND STUFF, BUT ALSO,

  • IT AFFECTS HOW WE LISTEN.

  • YEAH.

  • WOMEN LISTEN!

  • BUT WE LISTEN, TOO.

  • WE'RE JUST DIFFERENT.

  • A LOT OF WOMEN SAY, YOU KNOW,

  • "MEN'S PROBLEM IS,

  • THEY GOT SELECTIVE LISTENING."

  • YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, RIGHT?

  • THAT'S WHEN THE WIFE'LL SAY

  • SOMETHING LIKE,

  • "HONEY, GO TO THE STORE,

  • LAY DOWN THE MULCH,

  • WASH AND WAX THE CAR,

  • GET THE KIDS TO SCHOOL,

  • RENT SOME VIDEOS,

  • AND FINISH THE REST

  • OF THE DISHES."

  • AND THEN HE RUNS THAT

  • THROUGH HIS SELECTIVE FILTER...

  • >> [audience cheering]

  • >> Mark: ...AND ALL HE HEARS IS,

  • "HONEY, GO LAY DOWN

  • AND GET SOME REST."

  • OKAY?

  • BUT THAT'S NOT

  • WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

  • WHAT I'M REALLY TALKING ABOUT

  • IS THE DIFFERENCE

  • BETWEEN SINGLE-TASKING

  • AND MULTITASKING.

  • BY AND LARGE--

  • AGAIN, INTERPOLATE

  • FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

  • AGAIN, NOT EVERYBODY IS

  • THE SAME WAY.

  • BUT BY AND LARGE,

  • MEN ARE SINGLE-TASKERS.

  • WE DO ONE THING.

  • AND WE DO IT PRETTY WELL.

  • WOMEN CAN HANDLE

  • LOTS OF THINGS.

  • GUYS AREN'T WIRED THAT WAY.

  • THAT'S WHY

  • IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA

  • TO PUT A MAN IN CHARGE

  • OF MORE THAN ONE KID AT A TIME.

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: WE CAN HANDLE THE ONE.

  • "BUT SWEETHEART, YOU'RE DOING

  • SUCH A GOOD JOB WITH JOHNNY.

  • WOW. WHERE ARE THE REST

  • OF THE KIDS?"

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "WE GOT OTHER KIDS?"

  • BUT, MAN, WE JUST--

  • [imitates machinery]

  • I'M A CLASSIC SINGLE-TASKER.

  • I'M SO BAD, I'LL BE GOING ALONG,

  • AND I'LL FORGET

  • THE ONE THING I WAS DOING.

  • I'M JUST COMPLETELY LOST.

  • I NEED TO REBOOT MY BRAIN.

  • SAY, "WHOA, WHERE AM I?"

  • BUT MEN-- GENERALLY SPEAKING,

  • WE DO IT--

  • NOW, WHAT WE DO,

  • WE DO VERY WELL.

  • BUT ONE OF THE REASONS

  • WHY MEN ARE SO GOOD

  • AT WHAT THEY DO

  • IS BECAUSE OF THIS ABILITY

  • TO COMPLETELY FOCUS

  • ON JUST ONE TASK.

  • MEN USUALLY WILL RISE

  • TO THE TOP OF ANY PROFESSION,

  • EVEN THOSE DOMINATED

  • SOMETIMES BY WOMEN.

  • THE BEST HAIR DESIGNERS

  • IN THE WORLD,

  • A LOT OF THE TIME, ARE MEN.

  • BEST COOKS IN THE WORLD: MEN.

  • WHY IS THAT?

  • BECAUSE WE HAVE

  • THIS UNIQUE ABILITY

  • TO FOCUS ON JUST ONE THING

  • AND DO IT EXTREMELY WELL.

  • OKAY?

  • WOMEN ARE WIRED DIFFERENTLY.

  • YOU KNOW, THEY JUST--

  • ♪ [Hums, "Entry

  • of the Gladiators"]

  • AND, YOU KNOW,

  • MY WIFE CAN BE, YOU KNOW,

  • IN THE LIVING ROOM WATCHING TV,

  • READING A BOOK,

  • MAKING KNICKKNACKS,

  • AND TALKING ON THE PHONE,

  • ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

  • THIS IS AMAZING TO ME.

  • OF COURSE,

  • I COME IN, AND I'M JUST--

  • I'LL ASSUME

  • SHE'S NOT WATCHING TV.

  • >> [audience laughing]

  • >> Mark: "HEY!"

  • "WHAT?"

  • "I WAS WATCHING THAT."

  • "HOW COULD YOU

  • BE WATCHING THAT?

  • YOU'RE MAKING KNICKKNACKS."

  • "PUT IT BACK."

  • YOU KNOW?

  • WE'RE JUST--

  • [imitates computer]

  • NOW, THIS AFFECTS

>> Mark: AND WE LOVE IT.

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it

A2 laughing mark audience laughing laughing imitates man woman

Laugh your way to a better marriage Part 2

  • 10 0
    celee626 posted on 2015/05/27
Video vocabulary

Keywords

stress

US / strɛs/

UK /stres/

  • noun
  • Emphasis on part of a word or sentence
  • Pressure on something or someone
  • A state of mental tension, worry due to problems
  • verb
  • To emphasize one or more parts of a word, sentence
  • To put pressure on something or someone
  • To say your opinion strongly
  • To be in a state of mental tension due to problems
audience

US /ˈɔdiəns/

UK /ˈɔ:diəns/

  • noun
  • Group of people attending a play, movie etc.
imitate

US /ˈɪmɪˌtet/

UK /ˈɪmɪteɪt/

  • verb
  • To act, speak like someone or something else
  • other
  • To copy someone's behavior, actions, or style.
  • To reproduce or simulate something.
understand

US /ˌʌndɚˈstænd/

UK /ˌʌndə'stænd/

  • other
  • To be aware of something
  • To believe something to be the case
  • Perceive the intended meaning of (words, a language, or a speaker).
  • To feel or show sympathy for; empathize with.
  • other
  • To grasp something mentally.
  • verb
  • To know the meaning of language, what someone says
event

US /ɪˈvɛnt/

UK /ɪˈvent/

  • noun
  • An action or occurrence recognized by a software program.
  • Any social gathering; occasion; planned activity
  • Something that happens that you will remember
  • Something that happens or takes place, especially something significant.
  • Race or contest in a sports activity or program
  • The outcome or result of something.
  • A specific item in a sports program.
run

US /rʌn/

UK /rʌn/

  • verb
  • To depart or travel according to a schedule
  • To cause an animal to move in a certain direction
  • (Of an engine) to be operating
  • To start or use a computer program
  • To flow in a certain direction, like a liquid
  • To manage or operate a business
  • To operate or drive something
  • (Of a road) to go from one place to another
  • To move your legs faster than walking
  • noun
  • A vertical line of broken stitches in stockings or tights.
  • A large number of fish swimming together to spawn.
  • A score in baseball.
  • A continuous period of success or popularity.
  • Journey between two places made by ship or car
  • The period of time that a play, movie, etc. is shown to the public.
  • An act of running, especially for exercise or pleasure.
  • Series of similar things or successes and failures
  • A prepared course or track for skiing.
  • Act of running; exercise of running
happen

US /ˈhæpən/

UK /'hæpən/

  • verb
  • To take place or occur
  • other
  • To occur by chance
  • Used to introduce a possibility or condition
  • To take place or occur
detail

US /dɪˈteɪl/

UK /ˈdi:teɪl/

  • verb
  • noun
  • Small part of something; tiny fact
  • A particular item or piece of information about something.
  • A small part of something; a fact or piece of information.
  • A small group of soldiers or police officers assigned to a specific task.
  • other
  • To describe minutely, in particulars; to relate the circumstances of.
nothing

US /ˈnʌθɪŋ/

UK /'nʌθɪŋ/

  • noun
  • Item of little or no value, importance, interest
  • Number or value of zero
  • pronoun
  • Not anything, not a single thing
talk

US /tɔk/

UK /tɔ:k/

  • noun
  • Style of speaking
  • Discussion between two countries
  • Giving information in front of people; lecture
  • Saying things or ideas to someone with words
  • verb
  • To make a formal speech about something
  • To say things or ideas to someone with words