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  • Lisa wants to know if we want to get a drink later.

  • Umm ... maybe if it's happy hour--I am so broke.

  • I know, I can't even afford Whole Food; I have to shop at Trader Joe's.

  • The only apartment I can afford is three buses and two hours away, but this is the only job I could get.

  • I am so broke.

  • -Look at my phone. - Is that a 6 plus?

  • Yeah! I dropped it when I did "molly" at the music festival in the desert that we all flew to.

  • I'm just too broke to fix it.

  • Dude, that's nothing.

  • My parents kicked me out of the family plan.

  • That's like my nightmare.

  • I'm just start getting bills.

  • (Speaking Spanish) I've finally saved enough money to talk to my wife in Honduras for ten minutes.

  • We're sorry, the number you have reached is ...

  • I am on the juice cleanse for spring break, Cancun.

  • But the only thing that's cleansing is my bank account.

  • I know it's not healthy but fast food is the only way I can feed my kids.

  • Why are smoothie so expensive?

  • Well my broke ass can't even afford Spotify Premium.

  • I have to listen to an ad every 30 ...

  • Years I worked at that plant, then it shut down.

  • And I'm too old to be hired anywhere else.

  • My friends actually like, "Do you want to see a movie?"

  • And I'm like, "Yeah, if it's on Netflix, or Hula Plus or HBO Go." I am just so...

  • Broken--the whole leg.

  • And I don't have insurance, so I hope it just stay like...

  • This weekend when I went to Palm Spring, I have to rent a room on Airbnb instead of the whole apartment.

  • After Jeff lost his job, we got foreclosed on.

  • Now, we're squatters in our own home.

  • There's just so many weddings this year.

  • I can't afford to divorce my abusive husband.

  • I can't afford a gym membership and Soul Cycle.

  • Can I get a venti double sea salt mocha chai frappa latte skinny soy chino.

  • Same.

  • I'll take a medium--I'm broke.

  • Ok, that will be 40 dollars.

  • Oh my god, I think I'll need to put it on the emergency Amex my dad gave me.

  • Same.

  • Oh! Don't forget this, I need the purchase. I just want to get a free coffee.

  • Sometimes I leave the maggots on.

  • Because it's fresh protein.

  • If you like that video, click here to subscribe, click here to see more videos, or just leave a comment below about how my producer didn't tell not to wear green--for a green screen ... I'm not mad.

Lisa wants to know if we want to get a drink later.

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