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  • Well hello, everyone!

  • My name is Tyler Oakley and if there is one language

  • that I am most fluent in, it would have to be Emoji.

  • If you don't use Emojis, you are missing out in life.

  • I don't know who you are,

  • I don't know what your life goal is, but girl,

  • get with the times, because I only speak Emoji.

  • If you don't know what Emojis are,

  • they are little emoticons or images that you can use

  • to convey feelings or emotions or stories,

  • or anything that you want to say.

  • They are coming out with, I think, 200 more Emojis,

  • so we have a whole range coming,

  • but there are a few Emojis that I have always wanted,

  • I've felt like I've needed in times of crisis

  • when I'm really trying to tell a story and I need

  • that exact Emoji, that just don't exist

  • and they're not coming in the future expansion pack.

  • So, without further ado, if you're watching, head of Apple,

  • these are the Emojis that I need in my life.

  • I'mma get straight to the point.

  • I need a dildo. (laughs)

  • There are times when I need to say something with a dildo.

  • There's no beating around the bush with this one. (laughs)

  • The eggplant can only do me so well, okay.

  • I can only use that so many times

  • and have to explain myself.

  • Give me a dildo Emoji.

  • Ranch dressing, this is self explanatory.

  • How am I gonna tell somebody what sauce I need

  • when I get a 20 piece McNugget and I'm in a hurry

  • and I can only convey one Emoji?

  • Please.

  • A pickle, duh.

  • We already have a poop Emoji,

  • but it has a smiley face on it

  • and I'm just like, sometimes you have shit

  • that's just not a happy experience,

  • so maybe a sad poop Emoji.

  • A skittle, so that I can flick a skittle at you.

  • What about a fetus Emoji?

  • Because sometimes if you're about to give birth

  • and you want to convey a fetus is about to come out of you

  • and it can have a little umbilical cord.

  • That would be really convenient,

  • because I know there are pregnant mothers,

  • maybe even mothers that didn't even know they were pregnant,

  • maybe they're having a shit and the baby comes out

  • like that TV show and they want to be like,

  • "ooh, sad poop Emoji, ooh, fetus Emoji."

  • That would get the storyline right across.

  • You don't even have to explain yourself.

  • Just sad poop Emoji, fetus Emoji.

  • Bam, I didn't know I was pregnant.

  • I'm a problem solver.

  • Perhaps a condom, because why wouldn't we be

  • promoting safe sex.

  • A tampon.

  • I wouldn't need this I don't think ever,

  • unless I got a bloody nose, but I'm sure half of the world

  • might want to convey that that's what they need.

  • Listen, I'm looking out for everyone here.

  • A plunger.

  • In case ...

  • You know what the fuck that's in case of.

  • Now we already have a monkey covering his eyes

  • and then one with his ears

  • and then one with his mouth, but I really do think

  • we need a monkey throwing shit at somebody,

  • because sometimes I just feel like a monkey

  • that's gotta throw my shit at a human.

  • Now when I am feeling like the queen of all bitches,

  • I usually use the manicure Emoji,

  • but sometimes I'm like,

  • "I need to get rid of my downstairs mixup,"

  • so how about a pedicure Emoji?

  • That could be cute.

  • Also, if somebody's looking a mess,

  • I need a eyebrow plucking Emoji,

  • so I can convey a little message to them.

  • What about a half pound bean burrito Emoji?

  • We don't even have a burrito Emoji.

  • I feel like that's a little bit offensive to my people.

  • People that like burritos.

  • On top of that, I like a big, huge, half pound burrito.

  • I want to see a big ol' stuffed burrito,

  • like after they say, "Are you sure you want guacamole?

  • "It'll cost extra."

  • I'm like, "Yeah, bitch, of course I want guacamole.

  • "I don't give a fuck if it costs extra."

  • As if I didn't already know that it costs extra.

  • I want to see that big, stuffed burrito

  • that you know you paid extra for guacamole for.

  • In an Emoji.

  • We already have the thumbs up, the thumbs down.

  • We have a fist, we have a clapping Emoji.

  • What about a shocker Emoji, because sometimes

  • I am feeling like a shocker.

  • Not that I've ever put that into a woman (laughing),

  • but some people might want to tell their lady friend,

  • "Hey, I would love to give this to you."

  • Maybe a Razor scooter, because we already have

  • a car and a train and a plane and all those

  • transportation modes, but a Razor scooter would be nice,

  • because back in my day, I used to Razor scooter

  • over to my friends' house and hook up with them.

  • So if I had to tell him nowadays that I'm about

  • to Razor scooter over, how would I do that?

  • I need you to be thinking about these things

  • while you're making new Emojis.

  • How am I gonna convey to my friend

  • whom I'm experimenting with when I am in middle school

  • that I want to go Razor scooter over to his house

  • and just (clicks mouth), how?

  • Perhaps a Pizza Roll that's really hot and microwaved,

  • or a whole plate of Pizza Rolls.

  • Also, while we're talking about necessary Emojis,

  • how about some non-white people Emojis?

  • Because, girl, not everybody is white, news flash.

  • A genital wart.

  • How about a genital wart?

  • Not that I'm gonna have to tell people anything

  • about genital warts, but you never know.

  • A Beyonce Emoji.

  • It's kind of offensive that it doesn't already exist.

  • That is the short list of all the Emojis

  • that I am feeling like I need.

  • If you have an Emoji that you think you need--

  • I almost burped, there it is, okay, great.

  • If you have an Emoji that you think you need,

  • let me know in the comments below

  • and hopefully they'll see this and pick

  • some really good ones, because lord knows

  • this is the way to communicate.

  • I don't have time for 140 characters anymore.

  • If I could just send one Emoji, that's all I need to do.

  • Okay, so that's all.

  • If you liked this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up

  • and subscribe right there.

  • If you want to see my latest Q and A it's right there.

  • If you want to see my latest Friday video it's right there.

  • If you want to be my person of the week,

  • go to districtlines.com/tyleroakley and get a t-shirt

  • or a poster or something real cutre.

  • I have new t-shirts as of today.

  • It's plain, it's simple, and it conveys

  • everything about you.

  • They may be only limited time, so you might want

  • to get one before they're gone and send me a picture

  • of you being real cute in it and you might be

  • my person of the week next week.

  • That is all I have for you guys today.

  • I hope you have a fabulous life

  • and I will see you guys next time.

  • Later.

Well hello, everyone!

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B1 US emoji emojis convey burrito scooter razor

20 Emojis That Need To Exist | Tyler Oakley

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    Tu Howard posted on 2015/02/08
Video vocabulary