B1 Intermediate UK 2918 Folder Collection
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[music playing]
-Black bishop takes white pawn.
-Dad, Year Eight science class has gone missing.
-I said, black bishop takes white pawn.
That's you, boy.
-Why, you--
Be off with you, pawn.
-What are you doing?
-Well, I'm teaching Wolfie how to play chess, obviously.
-But you can't use Year Eight.
A word for breathers.
Why have a school full of human spawn
if you can't have a little sport with them?
Anyway, they're all thoroughly hypnotized.
They won't remember a thing.
-That doesn't make it any better.
-You see, Wolfie, chess is the ultimate game
of tactics and strategy.
Every move should be an educated and intellectual decision.
-Can you move the horsey next?
-I don't know how to play chess, master.
-You could fill a crypt with what you don't know, Renfield.
Go back to class.
-Go. THE COUNT: Stay.
-You heard the man.
-Do you-- do you see me laughing?
-I'm back-- twice as gorgeous, three times as evil.
Make that four times as evil.
-(WEAKLY) Come in.
Oh, it's you.
-Why are you making out like you've just been staked?
-I want people to think I'm still weak.
That way, they'll underestimate me.
You reek of breather.
-Um, I've been in class with them all day, the stinklings.
-So what do you say we go into town tonight and give some boys
the fight of their dull little lives?
-Uh, sorry, I said I'd hang out with Vlad.
INGRID: Again, but we had an arrangement.
-Did we?
-It's because he's the Chosen One.
You think he's going to make you his queen?
-We're just friends.
-You're trying to take my place, aren't you?
-I don't want to be his sister.
That's too weird, even for this place.
-You know what I mean.
-You really need to chill.
[thunder rumbling]
-Don't you dare walk away from me.
There's only one Queen of Darkness here.
[thumping sounds]
-So it was on October 23?
-No, the Battle of Trafalgar was 21st.
-All right, 21st October, 1805, lower gun deck.
And just before he died, Nelson said, uh, kiss me, Hardy.
-No, he didn't.
He said kismet.
He said what?
It means "fate."
-No, he didn't.
Bertrand was there.
Well, he is over 400.
He used to hang around loads of battles, apparently.
Easy pickings, he says, all that blood.
Made a real pig of himself at Waterloo, so.
[running footsteps]
-Yes, master?
-What's happened to my fang file?
It's as dull as an evening in your miserable company.
It-- it's Vlad.
He-- he borrowed it for his metalwork project.
-He's always telling me what to do
and trifling with my possessions.
I should kick him off the--
-It can't be.
[singing continues]
[singing continues]
-Is that what I think it is?
[singing in transylvanian]
[singing continues]
[singer freezes]
-What do you think you're doing?
-I was just about to ask you the same question.
-But that song, it's Transylvanian.
She must be from the old country.
It's years since I've had a home-cooked meal.
-No, you can't.
-I'm your father.
Pick a fight with me, boy, and you will lose.
-I said no.
I'm so sorry.
I must have fall-- just--
I just got lucky.
[woman singing in transylvanian]
-So what's on the menu?
Has-beens on toast?
I hope you don't think I enjoyed seeing you
humbled, crushed, shamed, humiliated-- stop me
when you think I've covered it.
You've got to do something before Vlad gets too strong.
He might make you lord of Croydon for a few years,
but then he'll pack you off to the Twilight
Home for the long in fang.
I'd take you on myself if I wasn't still so exhausted.
THE COUNT: I don't need advice from you.
-Of course not.
I suppose you know his big weakness.
Erin, the half-fang?
He's crushing on her like crazy.
If you want to get him, get her.
-That's blatantly obviously to anyone with half a brain.
-Come on, you stupid locker.
-Uh, allow me.
Sweaty hands.
What's going on?
Last night I dumped the mightiest vampire on the planet
on his pants, and today I can't open a stuck locker.
-You were angry and focused.
It concentrated your powers.
You learn to control that, and you'll
be ready to open the "Praedictum Impaver."
-I need to do more training.
-Have you seen the count today?
-I think he's avoiding me.
-Well, last night he saw the future.
He has to feel he's still valued and relevant.
It's vital that he's reassured.
Otherwise, he's got nothing to lose.
He'll go on a killing spree, bring the slayers down on us.
Until you open the book, he won't
be ready to leave as a [inaudible].
We need more time.
[bell ringing]
-So uh, Wolfie, did you enjoy your chess lesson?
Did Dad show you his famous Transylvanian opening gambit?
-It was boring.
-That's because unlike me, he doesn't
appreciate the Count's wisdom.
-Oh, shut up, Renfield.
-Lunch is served.
-What gastronomic delights are you tempting us with?
-Master's favorite.
-Uh, and by "master" you mean?
-Ocelot Wellington in-- in a sticky badger sauce.
-Ooh, delicious.
[loud crunching and smacking]
-Absolutely revolting.
-Oh yes, it's disgusting, master, disgusting.
That-- that-- that pup needs teaching manners.
-Good idea, Renfield.
See to it.
-As you say, master.
-Where's the ocelot's nose?
I always get the ocelot's nose.
It's-- that's-- right, that's it.
-Apologies, master. I thought that now Master Vlad--
-It's a mistake.
Dad, this is yours.
-Keep it.
I've decided to satiate my appetite
with a little Transylvanian cleaner I know.
And don't try to stop me.
Oh yes, I'm ready for you this time.
-And what if that brings the slayers down on us?
-Well, you're a big boy now.
I'm sure you can handle it.
-Oh, so now you're just being silly.
I've been the scourge of nations,
star of 10,000 nightmares.
And now I'm just silly.
Count Silly of-- Croydon.
-Dad, I'm sorry if I've offended you.
Really, I am.
-Prove it.
-I want you to throw a Carpathian
Feast tonight in my honor.
Yes, a dinner for me and my pals.
It'll prove you still value and revere me.
-Yeah, I can do that.
Renfield, make the usual discreet travel
arrangements for guests.
INGRID: That's it?
That's the wrath of the mighty Count Dracula?
He throws a party, and it's all happy families?
-You aren't invited.
[knife vibrating]
[flies buzzing]
-Let me tell you about fine dining.
[flies buzzing]
These are not ordinary maggots.
These are hand-reared maggots, fed on a diet of elephant dung
and matured in a barrel of badgers' wee.
This is not just vampire fare.
This is vampire food heaven.
Now take a good handful, shove it in your gob.
-That doesn't sound posh.
-It's how the fancy French vampires do it.
And they know better than you, you little hooligan.
-Hosting a party for Dad's old cronies is a torture of its own
kind, but if that's all it takes to keep him happy--
-Learn not to take things at face value.
What have I missed?
-The Carpathian Feast is in ancient tradition.
There hasn't been one for hundreds of years.
There's something that happens at the end of the evening.
-I'll jump out of a cake if I have to.
-A vampire of the Count's choosing
is roasted to death in his honor.
-I hope you're happy.
-Oh, Ingrid, I'm so sorry.
Look, I won't let him do this to you.
-It's not me.
It's Erin.
VLAD: Fuck off.
-Daddy, I am so proud of you.
-Leave me alone!
I'm not going to let him do this.
-Then you'll fail his test.
He hasn't picked Erin by accident.
He knows you've got a thing for her.
-I don't know what you mean.
We're just friends.
-Vlad, I'm over 400.
I know when a guy's into a girl.
She walks into a room, you get a silly grin on your face.
I'll tell Dad I don't have feelings for her,
and he'll stop playing these silly games and let her go.
-If you do anything to stop him burning Erin,
he's going to know that you've put your wishes above his.
Vlad, you know where that will lead.
-I'm going to see Erin.
-Are you OK?
-Do I look like it?
Can you get me out of here?
-I'm afraid it's not that simple.
-I was talking to Vlad.
-No, he's right.
It's complicated.
-Well, from where I am, you open the cage, I run away,
and I don't get roasted.
End of.
-I just can't right now.
INGRID: Some boyfriend you are.
I've been begging Dad to choose someone else,
but he's determined.
-I will find a way to get you out of this.
I promise.
[guests laughing]
-Been a while.
My friends, I'd like to extend to you the warmest of welcomes.
But it won't be as warm as the welcome
we'll be giving the half-fang!
-Where's Vladdy?
[ticking noise]
-Seen the time?
Shouldn't you be doing that meet-and-greet thing
at Dad's feast?
-In a minute, OK?
There must be some way to save Erin in one of these.
-I'll keep looking if you want.
-And why would you want to do that?
-She did rescue me when I was ill.
-OK, thanks.
-Will you cheer up?
You can't let the Count see you fretting over Erin.
He has to believe that you're fine with it.
-But time is running out to save her.
-Then maybe you have to face the fact that she's--
-I'm not--
-Everything all right, Vladdy?
You have second thoughts about my little celebration?
-No, not at all.
I'm just going to get a case of Chateau Peasant.
VLAD: That's the one.
-Guess he's found a way to save Erin.
-I have to kiss you.
-Well, technically I have to kiss you.
-So you're using a desperate situation to get a cheap snog.
-It's ancient vampire lore.
A kiss from the Chosen One will protect you from the flames.
-OK, then.
Let's just go for it.
-Your lips were warm.
They can't be unless-- unless you're a breather.
-I should have told you.
I'm so sorry.
-How did I not know?
-My brother's been bitten, and I need to find a cure for him.
If I could find a cure anywhere, it
will be here with the Draculas.
-You could have been honest with me.
-(WHISPERING) I was scared.
VLAD: I told you I want humans and vampires to live together.
I trusted you.
You lied to me.
-But I didn't know you like I do now.
And anyway, you were trusting me with a secret.
I would have been trusting you with my life.
You can't just leave me here to burn.
Vlad, help me, please!
-Uh, I need some advice about maggots.
-Two minutes.
-Nothing like burning a half-fang
to brighten up your day.
-Well said, Vladdy.
-Master Wolfie.
I, uh-- I, uh, did my best, but I'm
afraid you can't teach a young werewolf old tricks.
-Well, he certainly looks the part.
-Hors d'oeuvre, Master Wolfie?
-Thank you, Renfield.
That was absolutely scrumptious.
-But that-- that's not what I told you to do.
This is what I told you to do!
[muffled grunting]
-I am sorely tempted to toast you as well as the half-fang.
-It has to be that way.
It is vampire law.
-So there's no way around it?
Rules are rules.
-Ah, there you are, Vlad.
I need to speak to my son urgently.
I just saved you from a fate worse than staking.
Augustus is such a bore.
-Enough to send anyone to sleep.
[rhythmic thumping]
-Bring in the half-fang!
-Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Before the climax of what has been a fantastic evening,
I'd like to say a few words about the Count.
-The Count-- my dad-- has let me down.
[surprised gasps]
-You see, when I was growing up, he didn't warn me
that not every vampire I met would have
his charm, his charisma, his intellect.
Because everything I am and everything
I will become I owe to him.
Gentlemen, I give you my role model,
my inspiration, my father.
-Now bring on the half-fang.
-Bring on the half-fang!
[rhythmic clapping]
-What are you looking so pleased about?
-I've done a terrible thing.
I told Vlad that a kiss from the Chosen One
would protect Erin from the flames.
-You what?
-And he fell for it.
-And he's still trying to stop it.
-Well, you know my brother.
-I'll take it from here.
Come on, half-fang.
Out you come.
Can I have the honor of throwing her in?
-Of course.
-You have filled in all the forms, haven't you?
What forms?
-Permission to burn a fellow vampire.
-Perm-- I-- I don't need permission.
-Yes, you do.
Augustus was going on about it.
What is it you were saying about the forms?
The Vampire High Council Directive of 1832
said that every feast must be sanctioned by them.
-So you're here.
You sanction it.
-It's not that simple.
-You need to fill in Form 965 and have
approval from the board.
-This is ridiculous.
-He says failure to comply will result in ritual staking.
Now, I know they never--
-Stupid bureau-bats and them--
-Well, let's do it anyway.
-Red tape. Absolutely.
Get on with it.
On my count.
CROWD: Three!
-Can I just have a quick--
-One moment.
I mean, we've all had such a-- such a nice evening.
No need to spoil it by upsetting the High Council.
What do you think?
-It's your party.
You're the boss.
-But what do I say, um, to them?
Leave it to me.
VLAD: Mm-hmm.
-Go for it.
My apologies, gentlemen.
It appears we have neglected filling
in the appropriate forms to burn the half-fang.
-I was telling him earlier.
-The penalty is ritual staking for all attending.
Now, the Draculas are not one to ruin people's entertainment,
so we're leaving it to you.
Shall we proceed?
-I wouldn't.
-Well, if there's more of this Chateau Peasant, what does
it matter if the half-fang doesn't burn?
-We have a crate of the Chateau Peasant-- the '42.
-Well done, Vladdy.
Well done.
VLAD: Uh, come on.
-Have you any idea how terrifying that was?
-Yes, I do.
-I really thought you were going to throw me in that fire.
-Look, I had to take it to the edge.
Otherwise, Dad would have worked out what I was up to.
I mean, why can't you just tell me the truth?
I get why you didn't, but--
-I should have, I know.
I was just so desperate to find a cure for Ryan.
-There isn't one.
I've tried everything.
-Maybe you've missed something.
Can you categorically tell me there isn't a cure?
-Well, no.
-Then I'm not going to give up.
I've got to keep trying.
He's my brother.
-Is that the reason you stayed?
-At first.
But you're special, Vlad.
I believed you when you said you wanted
humans and vampires to live together.
-My own kind are going to hate this idea,
and they're going to do everything they can to stop it.
Will you stay and help me?
Yeah, I will.
-I'll always protect you.
I promise.
-You've got to be the sweetest vampire in the world.
-Let's face it.
There's not much competition.
Fresh start, yeah?
No more secrets.
-No more secrets.
[music playing]
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Young Dracula - BBC Series - Season 3 Ep 5 "Carpathian Feast"

2918 Folder Collection
yi published on February 4, 2015
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