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  • ♪ (old school video game music) ♪

  • Grand Theft Auto Five!

  • Oh goodness. I've heard about this one.

  • I've heard of Grand Theft Auto. It's a pretty big show.

  • I saw this game before on TV, I think.

  • Why, I believe I've seen the trailer for this.

  • The goal of the game is to be a successful criminal.

  • Seems to be a very popular game with the kids.

  • Why would you want to teach the kids how to steal a car?

  • I don't want my grandkids to see me doing this.

  • I don't really want to do this, but I'm here.

  • I know I'm going to screw this up.

  • Oh, I like that! Look at that body.

  • That's me? Whoa!

  • He is kinda good looking.

  • Looks just like me.

  • 100 years ago.

  • Am I supposed to be doing something now?

  • So then I make him move?

  • Oop!

  • Well, okay, we got that.

  • That's left, right.

  • I'm not doing very well with this guy.

  • Forward--ooh, don't hit the wall!

  • Oh, let's go. Look at that.

  • I'm a manly man!

  • Ooh, oh, I like this house.

  • Is that his wife or his girlfriend?

  • - (woman chugs) - Who's an alcoholic.

  • (woman) Six more of these and I'll be comatose enough

  • - to sleep with you! - It's his wife.

  • He's had enough of these women. Let's go outside.

  • Walk through the door. There you go.

  • Go, go, go!

  • The graphics are gorgeous, fantastic.

  • Oh, that looks like it's Sunset Boulevard or something.

  • So is there a goal to this game?

  • Do you create a goal? Is there a goal?

  • Oh, I think I want that car.

  • A convertible parked in the driveway.

  • I'm gonna get into the car if I can figure out

  • how to get into the car here.

  • I'm mad at the car.

  • (laughs) Okay, well, we don't wanna kick it.

  • Okay, there it is.

  • Right? Nope.

  • Huh? Come on.

  • Come on, reach for it.

  • Let's see what these things do.

  • Ah-hah!

  • - Whoo hoo! - (tires squeal)

  • Something's--(laughs)

  • I laid a patch.

  • Oh, oh, there you go.

  • Whoa! Oh, [bleep].

  • Am I ever gonna get out of the driveway?

  • It's like too much happening at one time here for me.

  • Let's destroy him. That's it.

  • Just go right over. Go!

  • (engine revs)

  • Oh, look at that. His whole window's broken.

  • (laughs) You stupid fool.

  • (takes pin out of grenade)

  • (Finebros) You just dropped a grenade right behind you!

  • - That's okay. - (explosion)

  • Wasted!

  • Oh my gosh, that's awful.

  • - What? - (Finebros) When you die,

  • - you start over again. - So stupid.

  • (whimpers) Stop, stop, stop!

  • (whispers) 'Kay.

  • - (engine revving) - (Finebros) Why did you stop?

  • 'Cause it's a stop sign!

  • 'Kay, stop, stop, stop.

  • I'm waiting for the light to change.

  • There's a pedestrian too.

  • - There you go. - (tires screech)

  • - Come on, John, you can do it. - (horn beeps)

  • (laughs) [bleep], oh god [bleep] damn it!

  • (crash, horns honking)

  • (main character) So you're gonna drive into me?!

  • (laughs) Shut up.

  • I could steal a car?

  • (laughs) That's really nice.

  • But wait--oh, okay. There we go.

  • Shut the door.

  • Now, look mean. Hey, there it is.

  • - Hey! - (tires squeal)

  • (main character) [bleep] I'm gonna be usin' your car.

  • Yeah, I am! Who da man?!

  • Let's get outta here. Oop, wrong way.

  • (laughter) We're outta here!

  • Take that old station wagon. Get in there.

  • I'm gone.

  • You can do whatever you want in this game.

  • Oh man! Destruction derby.

  • - (beeping) - Is that you on my sidewalk?

  • - (laughter) - (main character) Oh [bleep]! Sorry.

  • Oh, I'm down at Santa Monica.

  • Oh my god, that even looks like the real sign down at the pier.

  • I think I wanna go on the roller coaster.

  • Whoa!

  • Oh, look at that! That is so cool.

  • (gasps)

  • - (riders scream) - This thing vibrates.

  • (riders scream)

  • Wow!

  • (riders shriek)

  • (laughter)

  • Oh, that was cool!

  • "Press to play tennis." Oh my god.

  • Come on.

  • The [bleep] is wrong with me?

  • Oh, geeze. That's expressive language.

  • - hard! hard! - (grunting)

  • - Right to her. - (tennis player grunts)

  • Over!

  • - Hey, you can play. - (woman) No, don't get up--

  • No, you're outta shape.

  • (horns beep)

  • They're gonna cancel my insurance, for god sakes.

  • What do I do?

  • Oh, no, pistol.

  • Uh oh.

  • Oh, oh, look at that.

  • Did I just find a bunch of guns?

  • (laughs) Oh, baby! Hey, hey R 15.

  • I'm lookin' for trouble.

  • - (horn beeps) - (gunfire)

  • - (gasps) Ooh. - (people scream)

  • Sorry about that. Oopsie.

  • (gunfire, screaming)

  • (laughter)

  • Now I'm beginning to have fun.

  • I got a gun. Where's a person?

  • (gunfire)

  • Oooh!

  • (cackles) I shot some people.

  • Ooh, that's the one I want.

  • Here comes a guy! Kill the guy.

  • (main character) You will find everything that's wrong with this place.

  • There you go. Shoot him again if he's not dead yet.

  • Oh, here's another one.

  • - Get her. - (gunfire, screaming)

  • - (laughter) - (woman) Jesus Christ!

  • Okay, now just remember, this is make believe.

  • - (gunfire) - You know what?

  • I don't like this.

  • All these games are based on the dark side of life.

  • (woman groans)

  • - (Finebros) What did you do?! - I decked her.

  • - (Finebros) Why?! - I don't know.

  • I didn't mean to. I wanted to shoot her. (laughs)

  • I got a knife.

  • A knife, you're closer to the victim.

  • - It's more personal. - (woman) Wow, you're so dirty!

  • - Uh oh. - (woman) You're a naughty boy.

  • - (woman) Go-- - (laughs)

  • I hit a woman for the first time in my life...

  • and I'm having fun!

  • (screaming, gunfire)

  • (laughter)

  • It's fun, man. It's pretty cool.

  • It's a weird satisfaction, man. It's weird.

  • - What does that star mean? - (Finebros) That means the cops

  • - are coming for you. - Oh.

  • I'm invincible. Where are they?

  • I'll never give up! You'll never take me alive!

  • - (gunfire) - Here, turn around.

  • Turn around, turn around.

  • (explosion)

  • Oh, I'm...

  • wasted!

  • Oh, there are the police! Oh my god, get out of the way.

  • - Turn around. Get over here. - (cop) Drop the weapon!

  • No, don't drop that weapon! Get up, you idiot.

  • Oh, geeze.

  • Busted! (laughs)

  • Well, as well he should be. He's killed a few people.