Name: Oscars 2026: Conan O'Brien's opening monologue
Uploaded: 2026-03-16T21:32:26.000Z
Duration: 10 min 42 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Transition words & phrases

Hey, I am Conan o' Brien and I am honored to be the last human host of the Academy Award.

Next year it's going to be a waymo in a tux.

It's great to be back hosting the Oscars.

Last year when I hosted Los Angeles was on fire, but this year, everything's going great.

I'm told there's concerns about attacks from both the opera and ballet communities.

I should warn you, tonight could get political.

And if that makes you uncomfortable, there's an alternate Oscars being hosted by Kid Rock.

Yeah, it's at the Dave and Buster's down the street.

A lot of cool people are here and some of them behind the scenes.

Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos is here, and this is exciting.

Why are they all together enjoying themselves?

They should be home alone where I can monetize it.

Yeah, I said that last year, but I was lying.

Between Hamnet and Begonia, it's been a big year for movies that sound like off brand lunch meat.

So that's had a little begonia around 10.

At the beginning of Hamnet, a message comes on the screen explaining that the names Hamnet and Hamlet were used interchangeably.

In Hamnet, William Shakespeare's wife Agnes gives birth by herself in the woods.

Or as we call that here in America, affordable health care now.

It's the story of a race car driver who finally wins after deciding to go faster.

And ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for sinners.

Sinner's director Ryan Coogler said he declined to become a voting member of the Academy because he doesn't like judging his fellow artists work.

But the rest of you pricks seem to love it.

Lots of memorable scenes from one battle after another.

Best supporting actor nominee Sean Penn, of course, got an erection at gunpoint.

And then Paul Thomas Anderson said, hey, let's put that in the film, huh?

I was in a movie with the lovely Rose Byrne.

My co star Rose Byrne is nominated for best actress in if I had legs, I'd kick.

It's hard to act in a scene with someone you've always had a massive crush on.

This year we've added a new category to the Oscars.

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Oscars 2026: Conan O'Brien's opening monologue

weird

incredible

resilience

decline