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Cheese.
Oh my God, you guys are so Asian right now.
I'm gonna be Asian too.
So where are you from?
I'm from Texas.
No, I mean like where are your parents from?
You know, you're pretty tall for an Asian.
Oh, they're from Korea.
Where are your parents from?
Michigan.
No, where are you parents' ancestors from?
I don't know, like Europe?
I just wanted to introduce you to Eugene over here.
Eugene, say hi to Stacy.
Hi Stacy.
Yeah, well Stacy's really into Asian guys so I figured it'd be a nice...
It is so nice to finally meet your girlfriend!
Yeah, so me and my friend were at 99 Ranch and...
What's 99 Ranch?
Actually, I'm his sister.
Yeah, this is my girlfriend.
You don't know what 99 Ranch is?
Oh, it's that new bar, right?
Oh, such a banana.
So anyways, yeah.
Um, I don't speak Mandarin, do you?
No, sorry.
So you're Chinese.
Taiwanese, actually.
You speak Cantonese.
Mandarin.
You know my cousin's wife is Oriental.
Ah, so she's a rug.
Are you North or South Korean?
South.
How can you tell?
Because I'm not trapped in North Korea.
No, she's from the Orient.
The Orient, ah, so we're in the 1950's right now.
I'd be the Red Ranger.
I'd be the Blue Ranger.
You're the Yellow Ranger!
How do I change this setting?
Are you serious?
Yeah, I just got this phone.
You're like a bad Asian.
So my mom was like (with Korean accent) "Eugene"
"Why are you so skinny?"
You can say that?
That feels like a little bit racist.
I mean it's...
Were your parents upset that you wanted to go into entertainment?
Of course! 'Cause I'm Asian you think that my parents want me to be a doctor or a lawyer or engineer.
OK, that's like a little racist, but it's cool.
So she was like (with Korean accent) "Oh, Eugene..."
No, no, you can't do it though.
Oh, OK, fair.
Oh, I wasn't trying to be offensive, it's good that they're cool with it, though.
Nah, they wanted me to be a doctor.
Take a selfie with me.
Yeah Mom, that was my new girlfriend.
Uh no, she's not Korean.
I'm so glad I have minority friends.
All my pictures are with White people.
Uh, you know, technically Asians are the majority.
There are literally billions of us in the world.
Oh, OK, smile!
Oh my God, I love that new HBO show.
It's so diverse.
Yeah, there are no Asians on it.
Hey Eugene, what's 28 times 72?
Yeah, but there are two Black people!
And an Asian receptionist.
I don't know, it's like 1,500.
OK, thanks.
Are we all in the frame?
Yeah, you're on, you're all in.
I just had this thought.
If we had a baby together,
it would be the most beautiful half-Asian baby in the entire world.
Right?
Yes, definitely.
It would totally be half Asian.
Dude, in general half-Asian people are the most beautiful.
Oh my God, I had the best pho last night.
You mean pho.
Yeah, pho.
Hey Eugene, I saw your "Awkward Moments Only Asians Understand" vid.
As an Indian, where was the rest of Asia?
I went with my girlfriend Tammy Nguyen, do you know her?
Nguyen?
I don't know, I think probably around eight o'clock.
So, you might wanna think about that next time you label something Asian.
Gah, this is awkward.
Is that your brother?
What?
It's not on you.
It's all on your cow!
Down Bastian!
I am the great, stolen Dragon!
Yup, you are.
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Awkward Moments Only Asians Understand

358489 Folder Collection
邹达 published on October 14, 2017    Clément translated    Ann reviewed
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