Name: Rubio: U.S. Wants To Buy Greenland | Stealing Venezuela's Oil | Dr. Oz: Booze Brings People Together
Uploaded: 2026-01-12T17:11:31.000Z
Duration: 12 min 25 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

You know, you can feel the energy in this room.

It was a beautiful spring like day here in New York.

All that global warming is finally paying off.

Even the coldest places on the planet are heating up like Greenland for some reason and we're not entirely sure why.

For some reason, Donald Trump is obsessed with that frozen gravel pile and won't rule out using the military to acquire it.

Greenland is a NATO ally because it's part of denmark.

And Article 5 of the NATO charter clearly states that an armed attack against one NATO member shall be considered an attack against them all.

So if we attack Greenland, we'll have to fight all of NATO.

Yesterday, Speaker Mike Johnson was asked the age old question, should the United States invade Greenland?

And he said, no, I don't think that's appropriate.

We're talking about attacking an ally, not wearing jeans to a wedding.

GOP Rep. Don Bacon was asked about it and bacon was crisp.

And we're not going to acquire Greenland for NATO allies.

We have bases there and we can build on that.

So this is one of the silliest things I have heard come out of the White House.

Last year was the first we heard the words FIFA Peace Prize.

I guess Venezuela doesn't have a soccer team.

The biggest criticism of Trump's plan came from famed geopolitical strategist Bjork, who posted I wish all Greenlanders blessings in their fight for independence.

This woman gets dressed by dipping herself in glue and rolling around in a hobby lobby rickrack everywhere.

Now, it's still possible there's an outside chance we don't invade.

This week, in a closed door meeting, Marco Rubio assured lawmakers that recent administration threats against Greenland did not signal an imminent invasion and that the goal is to buy the island from Denmark.

It actually sounds weirder because I don't know if you knew this.

People don't buy and sell countries anymore.

Apparently our foreign policy is from the 19th century.

Remember this month is open enrollment for leech care.

I single handedly ended eight wars and Norway, a NATO member, foolishly chose not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize.

Because it kind of sounds like it matters, but yes, Norway.

Why didn't you give him the Noble Peace Prize?

Imagine how upset he's going to be when he finds out he also didn't get the Nobel Peace Prize.

But to prevent international conflict, I hereby award Donald Trump the Nobel Prize.

Technically, technically, it is a bomb Barnes and Noble Prize.

I think it's still got like five bucks on it or something like that.

Now there's more news from a country that Trump has already invaded.

Because last night Trump announced the US will sell 50 million barrels of Venezuelan oil.

presidents can't just steal and sell stuff that belongs to another country.

Though it does explain why he says the country's name like this.

Trump explained this oil will be sold at its market price and that money will be controlled by me.

That's the most illegal sounding thing I have ever heard.

The only way this could sound more illegal is if the Trump parked the oil tankers in a school zone.

Trump promises that the petrodollars will be used to benefit the people of Venezuela and the United States.

Also, Trump also said the oil will be taken by storage ships and brought directly to unloading docks in the United States.

Are you going to put the oil on Facebook?

Oh, hey, my wife sent me to pick up the 50 million barrels of Venezuelan crude.

So guess I should put the seat down then.

This morning the US military seized two Venezuela linked oil tankers.

One of the vessels was captured in the Caribbean.

Possibly the Caribbean, we're not sure yet.