Name: 48 Minutes of Jimmy O. Yang | Guess How Much?
Uploaded: 2025-09-25T13:51:46.000Z
Duration: 48 min 22 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Past simple

Ever since I was five years old, my mom had me believe that anything I do would make me sick.

You go outside without a jacket, you get the flu.

You go to bed with the fan on, pneumonia.

God forbid you fall asleep with wet hair. You don't wake up. That's it. You're dead.

That's it. You're dead. That's fear-mongering, man.

I'm not scared of anything anymore. I don't think I have any fear anymore.

I used to watch that show Fear Factor. You guys remember that show?

Joe Rogan hosted Fear Factor to make you face your fears, like jump off a helicopter, eat crazy shit like pig intestines and century egg. I ate that shit for breakfast.

This is nothing to me. Fear is not a factor.

When I was like 10 years old, little boy, I was very scared because there was this one kid, pretty sad story, in my class, he had childhood leukemia. And then he lost all his hair to chemo and everything, looking real frail. And I was really scared. I was like, oh my God, is he going to be okay? And my mom, she's a great mother. She saw how scared I was.

So she came up to console me. She was like, Jimmy, Jimmy, you see, this is what happens when you play too much video games. That's fear mongering, okay?

I never played a game of FIFA after that. My mom was like the original fake news.

Good to see everyone here, man. I think collectively as people, we all been through a lot in the last few years, man.

And we made it out. We made it out with better for it. I feel like I mentally aged like 20 years.

Like the first day I walked outside, for some reason,

I just walked out like an old Chinese man. I just came out of my house like this.

I was wearing flip flops and a puffer vest. My outfit made no sense.

My feet were cold, chest sweat. My posture looked like shit, but I was still judging everyone.

I'm an old man now. I don't even like going outside anymore. All my friends, they're back to normal, right? They're like, oh, Jimmy, you want to go to Coachella?

Doesn't look fun to me. Six hours standing in the desert. Fuck that.

You see all these kids, like what they Instagram post, you know, it's always like people just like jumping around, dancing. And then all these buff dudes got like girls on their shoulder.

I'm like, dude, you're not even going to a concert. You're doing CrossFit. How's that fun?

The only concert I've been to this year, I took my girlfriend to a Don McLean concert.

Yeah. You guys know who that is? Yeah. A couple people. Thank you. Thank you.

Tom McLean, for you guys that don't know, sang the song, Bye Bye Miss American Pie.

Yeah, he's old as shit, dude. He's 77 years old and so was his audience.

It was my favorite concert I've ever been to. On a ticket, it says the show started at eight, started at 7.59. He didn't have an opener, you know, he just came on stage with a guitar and started singing. It was awesome. Nobody stood up to like obstruct my view because frankly, everyone had a bad hip. It's great. Still got home in time to watch the 10 o'clock evening news.

That's my kind of evening. You know what I mean? I don't like going outside anymore. Too many crazy people, too many weirdos. One time I went to this dive bar in a military town, San Diego, big military town. I love my military. Okay. But I think sometimes, yeah, yeah. But I think sometimes military people get a little too passionate. You know? Thank you. Thank you. Exactly. My point right there. Thank you. I love military, but they're just too passionate. Like I was at a dive bar. This one military brother came up to me. He was just like, hey man, I want to buy you a drink.

I'm like, no, no, thank you. I can, I can buy my own drink. Thank you. He's like, no,

I want to buy you a drink. So at this point, I thought either he wanted to take a selfie or he wanted to fuck me. So I'm like, no, sir, I think I can buy my own drink.

And then he started telling me his whole life story. I'm like, no, sir, I think I can buy my own drink. And then he started telling me his whole life story. He's like, you don't understand.

I want to buy you a drink because I was stationed in Okinawa for four years and you guys have been nothing but nice to me.

I'm like, you guys, you guys, Okinawa is in Japan. I'm Chinese, sir.

And he's like, it doesn't matter, man. It doesn't even matter. I'm like, sir, I think it does matter, right?

I'm pretty sure the only reason you were stationed in Japan was to keep an eye out on Chinese people like me. It does matter. He was like, it doesn't even matter, man. I still love Pad Thai, okay?

Maybe that guy run into BTS on his next tour. Who knows?

My point of saying all of this is Asian people, we don't all look alike. We don't all sound alike.

You know, we don't even do anything alike. We're just people, you know, right? Like, everybody's different. Thank you, white lady. Thank you. Thank you, one white lady. Appreciate it. Thank you.

She teaches magna school down the street, a lot of Asian students.

So tonight, I want to offer you guys an advanced lesson on how to tell Asian people apart, okay? Yeah, that's right. I'm so good at telling Asian people apart, I don't even need to look at you. I can tell you what kind of Asian somebody is by the sound they make when they're disappointed.

Because disappointment is our strongest emotion. Whenever we get disappointed, our ancestor just comes out, and you can't hide that, you know? Like, for example, I'm Chinese. I know Chinese people very well, okay? When Chinese people get disappointed, we're just disgusted.

We don't want to look at you. When you disappoint a Chinese person, they're just like, shh. Like, they just walked into a smoky room, and they got to clear it. Just like, shh.

See, that's Chinese people. Japanese people, when Japanese people get disappointed, they just want to know why. They ask you a question.

When a Japanese person gets disappointed, they're just like, eh?

Eh? And that's it. You didn't go disappoint a Korean person, I wouldn't recommend that.

This Korean brother might fuck you up, okay? Korean people are intense, they're ready to fight, but they're my favorite type of people because they're very emotionally honest.

A Korean person will let you know when they're disappointed. They're real guttural with it, you know what I mean? When you disappoint a Korean person, they're like, oh, shiba.

But they're still very Asian, so they're still real polite. They'll thank you with that.

And they're like, oh, shiba. I don't even speak Korean, but I watch Squid Games.

You know what I mean? Love that show. See, that's great representation. Number one TV show in the world, man. And they just spoke their native tongue. That's representation right there, man.

But I'm most proud of the fact that I finally have an easy Halloween costume.

Some of you guys don't understand the struggle for an Asian guy when it comes to Halloween.

Our outfits are limited. I was Bruce Lee for six years.

But this last year, I had the best Halloween costume. All I did, I went to Amazon, got a matching tracksuit, put three numbers on my chest, and I found myself an Indian friend.

It was such a great Squid Game costume. Somebody came up to me, he's like, oh, my God, you look just like the girl in Squid Games.

Proud of all the representation out there, man. That's what I am.

Have you guys seen the show Silicon Valley? Thank you. Thank you.

That was my first big break, man. I was so grateful to be a part of that show.

But that was a long break, man. It was a long break. I was so grateful to be a part of that show.

I was so grateful to be a part of that show. I was so grateful to be a part of that show.

I was so grateful to be a part of that show. But that was a few years ago, and I always felt like

I was the only Asian person representing, right? I felt so much weight on my shoulder.

Like every year, we got very lucky. We're getting nominated for an Emmy, so we get to go to a great ceremony. But every year, we knew we were going to lose.

Because all the good shows have front row seats.

Veep, Game of Thrones are all here. We're way the fuck in the back by the exit sign.

But it's okay. Win or lose, I was there to represent. I made sure I made my round, say hi to everyone, so they know there's Asian presence, you know?

That's right. So one year, after we lost, everybody left, I walked down the front row to say hi to some of my favorite actors. And I saw someone. I'm like, oh my god, that's Amelia Clarke. That's Khaleesi. That's Jon Snow over there, you know?

And then there's Rachel Brosnahan. Do you guys know who she is?

I love her. She plays the marvelous Miss Maisel. Great show, right? It's an awesome show.

And I did a movie with her a few years ago, so I decided to say hi. I was like, oh my god,

Rachel, it's so great to see you. Congratulations on everything. And she was like, oh, okay.

I'm like, okay. She probably just forgot who I was. I'm like, look, we did a movie like six years ago called Patriot's Day. You were awesome in that movie. I just want to congratulate you on everything you've done so far. And I'm like, oh my god, I'm so proud of you.

Everything you've done so far. And she was like, oh, yeah, sure. And I'm like, oh, really?

But I wasn't going to act out of pocket. I was there to represent.

So it's very nice. I was just like, oh, it's okay. You just don't remember.

Anyways, I just want to congratulate you for all the nominations on Marvelous Miss Maisel.

You're awesome. And she was like, oh, I'm not Rachel Brosnahan.

And I was like, holy shit. I'm the racist person here. I think all white people look alike.

Everybody in the front row was judging me. John Stone was staring me down. I'm like, you're a bastard. You can't even stare. And I didn't know what to do. I was profusely sweating. My face was flushed red. So I was just like, oh my god, I am so sorry.

But either way, it's so nice to meet you. My name is Awkwafina. And then I just.

That's right. That's why it's good to have other representation out there.

Asian people, we don't all look alike until we need to. I got a girlfriend now.

Thank you. I love her very much, man. She's an amazing person. She's very successful.

My girlfriend's a venture capitalist. Yeah, fucking jackpot, right?

It's great. It's great. For you guys that don't know what a venture capital means, it means that I'm the poorest person she knows.

And what that really means is I'm her sugar baby. So it's great. That's right. That's right.

Gender equality. That's what I'm talking about. It's time for men to get taken care of. That's right. See that brother high fiving his girl? Appreciate you, man. Fellow sugar baby. Come on.

That's right. That's right. I love her, man. I'm trying to, I'm trying to be a better boyfriend.

I'm new to this like boyfriend stuff, right? I used to take everything so personally. Like every time we get into a fight, I'm like, babe, why are you, why are you mad at me?

I'm the perfect boyfriend. Wrong answer. Fellas, fellas, if your girl's mad at you, you can't take that shit personally because it's not even about you.

She doesn't even know what she's mad about.

You just happen to be there. You know what I mean? You're a victim of circumstance, man.

So it's not your job to engage in an argument. It's your job to diffuse the situation.

You got to jujitsu that shit until you get to the bottom of the real problem.

Like the other week, she was mad at me about something. She was like, babe, I feel like we don't even like go on date nights anymore. I'm like, okay, I hear you, but what's really going on?

And she was like, well, sometimes I feel like you like hanging out with your buddies more than you like hanging out with me. And I'm like, okay, I hear you, but what's really going on? And then she takes a deep breath. And she was like, remember last week of my birthday, Heather brought a cousin and she didn't even know my name. I was like, see, that's your problem right there.

It ain't got nothing to do with me. Heather's cousin's a bitch, you know? Fuck her, man. Let's focus our energy on her. I'm trying to be a better communicator, man.