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  • - THIS IS SHOW BUSINESS TALK RIGHT HERE.

  • OVER THE YEARS, I'VE SHOWN YOU A LOT OF SCENES

  • FROM DIFFERENT MOVIES THAT I'VE BEEN CUT OUT OF.

  • AND...

  • WHAT HAPPENS IS, I GET CAST AND I SHOW UP,

  • AND I WORK, YOU KNOW, LIKE A PROFESSIONAL.

  • I LEARN MY LINES, AND I, YOU KNOW, REALLY PREPARE THE SCENES.

  • AND FOR SOME STUPID REASON, THE PART GETS CUT.

  • UNTIL NOW.

  • SO, THE "50 SHADES OF GREY" MOVIE IS COMING OUT NEXT YEAR.

  • [audience cheering]

  • AND I AM SO HAPPY AND PROUD TO SAY,

  • I GOT THE LEAD ROLE AND I AM DEFINITELY GONNA BE

  • THE LEAD IN THE MOVIE.

  • THEY'RE ACTING LIKE IT'S DAKOTA JOHNSON.

  • IT'S NOT. IT'S ME.

  • [audience cheering]

  • BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS THEIR WAY AROUND A WHIP MORE THAN ME.

  • THAT'S...

  • [audience cheering]

  • SO THEY JUST RELEASED THE TRAILER.

  • I'M SO PROUD TO SHARE IT.

  • THIS IS THE FIRST TIME ANYONE'S SEEN IT, AND I'M...

  • I MEAN, I'M STARRING IN "50 SHADES OF GREY."

  • I'M SO HAPPY.

  • SOME OF MY BEST WORK. PLEASE ENJOY.

  • [dark music]

  • - MR. GREY WILL SEE YOU NOW.

  • - I HAVE A NATURAL INSTINCT FOR WHAT MAKES A PERSON TICK.

  • I'D LIKE TO SEE YOUR FACE.

  • [audience laughing and cheering]

  • - I'D LIKE YOU TO SEE MY FACE.

  • - GIVES ME SOME CLUE WHAT YOU MIGHT BE THINKING.

  • - WHAT I'M THINKING?

  • UM... HMM.

  • WELL, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW FUN IT IS

  • TO GET PEARS AROUND CHRISTMAS TIME

  • AND HOW EACH ONE OF THEM IS INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED IN FOIL

  • AND HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE, LIKE LITTLE PRESENTS.

  • CAN YOU IMAGINE IF ALL FRUIT WAS LIKE THAT?

  • I MEAN, CHERRIES OR BLUEBERRIES OR RASPBERRIES.

  • AND EACH ONE OF THEM, YOU'D HAVE TO UNWRAP,

  • BUT IT WOULD BE A PRESENT.

  • THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING.

  • - I'M NOT THE MAN FOR YOU.

  • - OH. OH, YOU'VE HEARD THE RUMORS?

  • WELL, DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR.

  • [audience laughing]

  • [Beyonce singing] - MY HEART IT LULLS

  • [singing] GHOST IN THE SHEETS

  • - MA-OOGA!

  • [audience laughing]

  • THERE'S SOMETHING ON MY LIP?

  • I FEEL SOMETHING ON MY LIP.

  • IS THERE SOMETHING THERE?

  • UH.

  • OH.

  • IT WAS POPCORN.

  • IT'S OKAY.

  • [playing piano]

  • [clears throat]

  • [singing] OH-OH HERE SHE COMES

  • [singing] WATCH OUT BOY

  • [singing] SHE'LL CHEW YOU UP

  • [singing] OH-OH HERE SHE COMES

  • [singing] SHE'S A MAN-EATER

  • RAWR.

  • [singing] SHE'LL CHEW YOU UP

  • RAWR.

  • - MY TASTES ARE VERY SINGULAR.

  • - THIS IS SO "PRETTY WOMAN."

  • [intense music]

  • OH, HELL NO.

  • [audience laughing and cheering]

  • I'VE BEEN PROMISED THEY ARE NOT GONNA RECAST.

  • GO TO ELLENTUBE IF YOU WANT TO SEE

  • THE OUTTAKES FROM THAT TRAILER.

  • UH-OH. DID YOU WANT TO SEE MORE VIDEOS?

  • HOLD ON.

  • I HAVE TO TELL YOU.

  • WE'RE NOT GONNA BE DOING CLASSIC JOKE WEDNESDAY.

  • - OH, I'M...I'M...I'M SO MAD.

  • - YOU'RE MAD?

  • HOW MAD ARE YOU?

  • - I'M THIS MAD.

  • [audience cheers]

- THIS IS SHOW BUSINESS TALK RIGHT HERE.

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